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Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved

21,962,016 views | Esther Perel • TED2015

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

This talk was presented at an official TED conference. TED's editors chose to feature it for you.

About the speaker

Esther Perel

Therapist, speaker, consultant

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Through her podcasts "Where Should We Begin?" and "How's Work?," psychotherapist Esther Perel is changing the conversation on the way we communicate, connect and conflict in our relationships -- at home and at work.

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This talk was presented at an official TED conference. TED's editors chose to feature it for you.