Ideas worth spreading

The secret to making new friends as an adult

1,502,697 views | Marisa G. Franco • TED Membership

Making friends as an adult can feel like a baffling obstacle course. Why was it so much easier to connect as kids? To help you find well-rounded and fulfilling friendships, psychologist Marisa Franco discusses science-backed tips on how to make (and keep) friends, like the optimism-inducing "acceptance prophecy" and the shame-reducing "theory of chums." Learn more about the power of platonic love and how it can help you experience the full richness and complexity of who you are. (This conversation, hosted by TED current affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Visit ted.com/membership to become a TED Member.)

Making friends as an adult can feel like a baffling obstacle course. Why was it so much easier to connect as kids? To help you find well-rounded and fulfilling friendships, psychologist Marisa Franco discusses science-backed tips on how to make (and keep) friends, like the optimism-inducing "acceptance prophecy" and the shame-reducing "theory of chums." Learn more about the power of platonic love and how it can help you experience the full richness and complexity of who you are. (This conversation, hosted by TED current affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Visit ted.com/membership to become a TED Member.)

Apply the tips you learned in this talk by joining a Meetup group around your interests.

About the speaker

Marisa Franco

Friendship expert

See speaker profile

Marisa G. Franco is an expert on friendship, sharing the secrets to making (and keeping) great friends.

Marisa G. Franco, PhD | Generic, 2022 | Book

Platonic: How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends

Marisa's deep dive into the science of how we can make and keep friends, using the wisdom of attachment theory.

Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman | Simon & Schuster, 2021 | Book

Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

A memoir, peppered with research, from best friends and former co-podcast hosts Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman. The two reveal their journey of going to therapy together to revive their fading friendship.

Rhaina Cohen | The Atlantic, 2020 | Article

"What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?"

Are we lonely because of a lack of imagination for what friendship could be? NPR producer Rhaina Cohen makes the case for reimagining friendship by choosing friends as life partners.

| Explore

Coalition to End Social Isolation & Loneliness

This coalition partners with experts to find solutions for loneliness. They offer a newsletter on loneliness research, a conference with experts in the field and links to other organizations targeting the issue.

Daniel A. Cox | Survey Center on American Life, 2021 | Article

"The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss"

A report outlining the current landscape of friendship in the United States, revealing our tragic trend toward greater disconnection.

Learn more

Apply the tips you learned in this talk by joining a Meetup group around your interests.