playlist

How to make love last

Falling in love is intoxicating, but how do you build a lasting partnership after the high fades?

  1. 19:10
    Esther Perel The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

    In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.

  2. 10:18
    Alec Soth + Stacey Baker This is what enduring love looks like

    Stacey Baker has always been obsessed with how couples meet. When she asked photographer Alec Soth to help her explore this topic, they found themselves at the world's largest speed-dating event, held in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day, and at the largest retirement community in Nevada — with Soth taking portraits of pairs in each locale. Between these two extremes, they unwound a beautiful through-line of how a couple goes from meeting to creating a life together. (This talk was part of a TED2015 session curated by Pop-Up Magazine: popupmagazine.com or @popupmag on Twitter.)

  3. 13:53
    Mandy Len Catron Falling in love is the easy part

    Did you know you can fall in love with anyone just by asking them 36 questions? Mandy Len Catron tried this experiment, it worked, and she wrote a viral article about it (that your mom probably sent you). But ... is that real love? Did it last? And what's the difference between falling in love and staying in love?

  4. 10:42
    Yann Dall'Aglio Love — you're doing it wrong

    In this delightful talk, philosopher Yann Dall'Aglio explores the universal search for tenderness and connection in a world that's ever more focused on the individual. As it turns out, it's easier than you think. A wise and witty reflection on the state of love in the modern age. In French with subtitles.

  5. 21:31
    Esther Perel Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved

    Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.