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Our story of rape and reconciliation

6,394,296 views |

Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger |

TEDWomen 2016

• October 2016

In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.

In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.

This talk was presented at an official TED conference. TED's editors chose to feature it for you.

About the speakers

Thordis Elva

See speaker profile

Thordis Elva is one of the two authors of "South of Forgiveness," a unique collaboration between a survivor and perpetrator of rape.

Tom Stranger

Co-author, landscape gardener

See speaker profile

Tom Stranger is the co-author of "South of Forgiveness."

Learn more

This talk was presented at an official TED conference. TED's editors chose to feature it for you.