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Lena Elizabeth

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Is the internet adverse to intimacy?

An interesting comment I read about this "quick world" being to blame for a decline in intimacy, got me thinking...Are the internet and other advances in modern technology to blame for a decline in personal intimacy and romance?

Was the world really more intimate before the world-wide-web? If so, why has this technology, which was meant to bring us together, driven us further apart?

Is the technology dehumanizing or does it simply provide an outlet for a fear of intimacy that is already within us. http://www.psychalive.org/2011/11/fear-of-intimacy/ In a world, where people sit around a table typing on their iPhones instead of having meaningful conversation, it seems a revival of intimacy and attunement is more important than ever.

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  • Mar 29 2013: As i think, firstly, the internet made communications between people much more easier, then social networks were born, and while we were like "wow, now i can chat with a girl/boy i like, sitting still" we became to lazy to interact in "real world"
    So i think, the internet stolen the "play" part of intimacy, thus made us "boring" in real.
    I mean - what are you going to talk about on the first date/meet if u both already now nearly everything bout each other.
    Before it was like : Chat->conversation->play->friendship/relationships->love & sex
    Now internet stolen the chat&play part, so when couple of people meet in real, even after years of communication, they experience a problem: "i know him so well, but why im so nervous?", "what should i do now, are we already a couple or not?", "is it a date?" and so on. And everything goes very very wrong:)
    But, if a couple succesfully passes that first date, there's a chance that all gonna be ok, just because both just found a person with whom they can talk/chat ALOT about their similar interests etc.
  • Mar 27 2013: This is an interesting post. I think that intimacy is often damaged by technology. When it comes to communication, how much is lost in the text message; the raise of the eyebrow, the intonation of a sentence.It's got me into trouble in the past.

    However, as another commentator said, it's greatly to do with how the technology is used, and in addition to this is it symptomatic of other issues. Take a scenario, partner a becomes concerned that partner b is watching too much porn on the Internet and not focusing on their relationship. Obviously this involves us conflating sexuality and intimacy for one minute which is tricky. Is partner b reacting to a relationship which provides overpowering levels of intimacy? Is partner b feeling bereft of intimacy in their relationship and so seeks out something technological and mechanical? Two sides of the same narrative. I think you could find people who look for reasons. Both reasons are characterised by escape. And I suppose that's my main point, technology is often an escape. How that relates to intimacy is complex.
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    Mar 22 2013: I've just bought probably the biggest phone since the brick but it gives my clunky fingers relaxing room when typing on it's screen yet when i'm at a cafe i keep having to stop myself reaching for it as i'm the only one that has their head up staring out the window, I now smile at the person next to me if they look up and try and make small talk but it's hard for an introvert where i'm usually the quiet one.
  • Mar 27 2013: It doesn't allow physical intimacy. Could you say that's adverse towards intimacy because physical plays a really big part. So you trying to say this conversation isn't meaningful? dang..... Hecka mean........ Jus teasin.
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    Mar 24 2013: Hello Lina :) ...
    A good question, in the way of human relations;
    First, how an intimate relationship and romantiquese product?, I think that from Sev factors "can be complicated to say" you can siter among them: rational choice, lack, beauty "which is relative"-and beauty is in the sight and do - ....
    These factors are strongly linked to how to meet "real or virtual ...".
    So if we really want to make friends or intimate relationships. We must take into consideration the difference between human relations today, and those of the old times, which are more romantic. as there was no internet.
    What factors are missing or changed.
    Thank you :)
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    Mar 24 2013: .
    Yes!
    It is, though it isn't at first stage.
    This is because of human ultra-high accuracy.
    .
  • Mar 23 2013: It is not the technology, it is how the user uses the technology.

    Intimacy is not something that happens, it is something you do. You can use the internet to enhance intimate relationships, and you can use the internet to shield yourself from intimate relationships.

    Whichever is your choice, you will be more effective if you first put some time into thinking about what you want to do and how you want to go about doing it. Using the internet thoughtlessly will likely cause more harm than good.
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    Mar 23 2013: The flip side of any technology is that you can see it's effects in short term only. But if you are concerned about intimacy without too much stress on romance it may be wise to compare it with sight. The nearer you get the more details you miss. Romance life, if you will, and all intimacies will be in true perspective.
  • Mar 22 2013: "The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite (TCP/IP) to serve billions of users worldwide. It is a network of networks that consists of millions of private, public, academic, business, and government networks, of local to global scope, that are linked by a broad array of electronic, wireless and optical networking technologies. The Internet carries an extensive range of information resources and services, such as the inter-linked hypertext documents of the World Wide Web (WWW) and the infrastructure to support email."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet

    "Cyberculture is the culture that has emerged, or is emerging, from the use of computer networks for communication, entertainment, and business. It is also the study of various social phenomena associated with the Internet and other new forms of network communication, such as online communities, online multi-player gaming, social gaming, social media, augmented reality, and texting, and includes issues related to identity, privacy, and network formation."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberculture

    The internet provides more communication option. It's role in inter-personal communications, relationships and social experiences is a function of how its users. There are plusses and minuses. Personal intimacy and romance can be enhanced through increased communications and more awareness of romantic things to do or places to go. The internet can also offer human interaction for lonely moments in all relationships. It is no more physical than a keyboard and monitor, but it does provide a form of human contact. For those that like to explore, learn, and investigate things that may not be of interest to a companion, the internet provides a passport to adventure.

    It does reduce the emotional leverage in some relationships found when one partner needs more of some kind of communication than the the other is willing to provide.