Einstein the Parrot talks and squawks

Stephanie White: I'm going to let her introduce herself to everybody. Can you tell everybody your name?

Einstein: Einstein.

SW: This is Einstein. Can you tell everyone "hi"?

E: Hello.

SW: That's nice. Can you be polite?

E: Hi, sweetheart.

SW: Much better. Well, Einstein is very honored to be here at TED 2006, amongst all you modern-day Einsteins. In fact, she's very excited.

E: Woo.

SW: Yeah. (Laughter) Since we've arrived, there's been a constant buzz about all the exciting speakers here for the conference. This morning we've heard a lot of whispers about Tom Reilly's wrap-up on Saturday. Einstein, did you hear whispers?

E: [Squawks]

SW: Yeah. (Laughter) Einstein's especially interested in Penelope's talk. A lot of her research goes on in caves, which can get pretty dusty.

E: Achoo!

SW: It could make her sneeze. But more importantly, her research could help Einstein find a cure for her never-ending scratchy throat.

Einstein: [Coughs]

SW: Yeah. (Laughter) Well, Bob Russell was telling us about his work on nanotubes in his research at the microscopic level. Well, that's really cool, but what Einstein's really hoping is that maybe he'll genetically engineer a five-pound peanut.

E: Oh, my God! My God! My God!

SW: Yeah. She would get really, really excited. (Laughter) That is one big peanut. Since Einstein is a bird, she's very interested in things that fly. She thinks Burt Rutan is very impressive.

E: Ooh.

SW: Yeah. She especially likes his latest achievement, SpaceShipOne.

Einstein, would you like to ride in Burt's spaceship? E: [Spaceship noise] SW: Even if it doesn't have a laser?

E: [Laser noise] (Laughter)

SW: Yeah, yeah. That was pretty funny, Einstein. Now, Einstein also thinks, you know, working in caves and travelling through space -- it's all very dangerous jobs. It would be very dangerous if you fell down.

E: Wheeeeeee! [Splat]

SW: Yeah. (Laughter) Little splat at the end there. Einstein, did that hurt?

E: Ow, ow, ow.

SW: Yeah. It's all a lot of hard work.

E: [Squawks]

SW: Yeah. It can get a bird like Einstein frustrated.

E: [Squawks]

SW: Yeah, it sure can. But when Einstein needs to relax from her job educating the public, she loves to take in the arts. If the children of the Uganda need another dance partner, Einstein could sure fit the bill, because she loves to dance. Can you get down? E: [Bobbing head] (Laughter) SW: Let's get down for everybody. Come on now. She's going to make me do it, too. Ooh, ooh.

Einstein: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

SW: Do your head now.

E: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. (Laughter)

SW: Or maybe Sirena Huang would like to learn some arias on her violin, and Einstein can sing along with some opera?

E: [Operatic squawk]

SW: Very good. (Laughter) Or maybe Stu just needs another backup singer? Einstein, can you also sing? I know, you need to get rid of that seed first. Can you sing?

E: La, la.

SW: There you go. And, of course, if all else fails, you can just run off and enjoy a fun fiesta.

E: [Squawks]

SW: All right. Well, Einstein was pretty embarrassed to admit this earlier, but she was telling me backstage that she had a problem.

E: What's the matter?

SW: No, I don't have a problem. You have the problem, remember? You were saying that you were really embarrassed, because you're in love with a pirate?

E: Yar.

SW: There you go. And what do pirates like to drink?

E: Beer. SW: Yeah, that's right. But you don't like to drink beer, Einstein. You like to drink water.

E: [Water sound]

SW: Very good. Now, really, she is pretty nervous. Because one of her favorite folks from back home is here, and she's pretty nervous to meet him. She thinks Al Gore is a really good-looking man. What do you say to a good-looking man?

E: Hey, baby. (Laughter)

SW: And so do all the folks back home in Tennessee.

E: Yee haw. (Laughter)

SW: And since she's such a big fan, she knows that his birthday is coming up at the end of March. And we didn't think he'd be in town then, so Einstein wanted to do something special for him. So let's see if Einstein will sing "Happy Birthday" to Al Gore. Can you sing "Happy Birthday" to him?

E: Happy birthday to you.

SW: Again.

E: Happy birthday to you.

SW: Again.

E: Happy birthday to you.

SW: Big finish.

E: Happy birthday to you.

SW: Good job! (Applause) Well, before we wrap it up, she would like to give a shout out to all our animal friends back at the Knoxville Zoo. Einstein, do you want to say "hi" to all the owls?

E: Woo, woo, woo.

SW: What about the other birds?

E: Tweet, tweet, tweet.

SW: And the penguin?

E: Quack, quack, quack. SW: There we go. (Laughter) Let's get that one out of there. How about a chimpanzee?

E: Ooh, ooh, ooh. Aah, aah, aah.

SW: Very good. (Laughter) What about a wolf?

E: Ooooowww.

SW: And a pig?

E: Oink, oink, oink.

SW: And the rooster?

E: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

SW: And how about those cats?

E: Meow. (Laughter)

SW: At the zoo we have big cats from the jungle.

E: Grrrrr. (Laughter)

SW: What about a skunk?

E: Stinker. (Laughter)

SW: She's a comedian. I suppose you think you're famous? Are you famous?

E: Superstar.

SW: Yeah. You are a superstar. (Laughter) Well, we would like to encourage all of you to do your part to help protect Einstein's animal friends, and to do your part to help protect their homes that they live [in]. Now, Einstein does say it best when we ask her. Why do we want to protect your home?

E: I'm special.

SW: You are very special. What would you like to say to all these nice people?

E: I love you.

SW: That's good. Can you blow them a kiss?

E: [Kissing noise]

SW: And what do you say when it's time to go?

E: Goodbye.

SW: Good job. Thank you all. (Applause)