Jul 10 2011: Yes, love and trust go together, but I don't see any trust in this: "True love is not the impoverishment of who love, its interior enrichment without depending on the other." Without depending on the other??? Not depending on the others is distrusting and unloving. That is what I was referring to.
Jul 10 2011: I didn't say God doesn't have absolute knowledge. I said your answer is too simplistic. And that is why I am not satisfied.
The Creation of God is fabulous, beautiful, amazing. Each and every plant and animal, the colors, the lights, the matter of various forms. I think God would be interested in speaking in more detail about how it all has been created. I believe God is just as passionate a Creator as every human creator. We got this passion from somewhere!
I don't know if you spoke with a human creator. They would tell you all about their work in details and with huge enthusiasm. And as much as I know God, He would as well. So in my view, you are misrepresenting God.
Jul 10 2011: How can you call it love, if there is even not enough TRUST there to depend on the other person for support?
It is unhealthy if someone is attached to being romantically involved, but real love exists IN relationships to the others. How can you call it love if it has nothing to to with SOMEONE? I call it a self-pleasing illusion, as many that are popular today.
Intimacy for a human being IS the water for a fish. It doesn't need to be man-woman relationship. Deep committed friendships would do it.
It is sad that people get to believe in self-growth and think that it can replace relationships, that they can "be happy for oneself". It is trying to talk oneself out of a heartbreak of not having anyone to share the deep feelings, thoughs and together consider the challenges of life. The self-talk "I am whole by myself" is just a compensation for: "I feel empty." Going to self-growth seminars serves as an attempt to get to experience something that would soothe the pain. It works for the time of the seminar, but once you live the room, you are back on your own, Jack, and your heart aches.
But what do I know, maybe that is what people want. It sells well. I would just say: "yes, what about real love?"
There is nothing wrong in being sensitive and effeminate.
The problem is that if people lose their polarity is makes them poorer and less alive. A man and woman experience themselves as such in the relationship to one another. If you want a big spark, you need to have opposite poles. But most of all, it is the power of love, that needs to be there for the spark to appear, and then not to let it die out, but keep the fire going. People need to love and care for one another, to discover the goodness of the other and in order to learn about oneself. If two people build a loving relationship, where there will be enough care and sensitivity for the other, it is a gold mine. There one can find the treasures of who we are as men and women. There is HUGE potential there. Dig love and you will find that out.
You are very right, Helena, it is not only the men who should practice honesty, selflessness, and integrity. ALL people need it, indeed. Most and for all. Most and for all people should live in integrity. It is in fact the lack of it that makes all the conflicts between people and between genders, injustice. People are failing to give to the others the right appreciation, the right recognition, the right support. People are failing to see and acknowledge the reality of others and that is the main problem.
When I speak about surrender to men I mean surrendering to the needs of the men, supporting them, appreciating them, paying attention to them, being willing to give up on what you want, in order to fill the need of the other. There is a way a mother surrenders to the needs of her child. At work, one needs to surrender to the boss, in the sense of being willing to fulfill ones own responsibilities and being willing to do what one is asked to do. It doesn't mean that there is no place for consideration, discussion, creativity and ones own input. But basically surrender is the willingness to give up on ones own personal wants for the sake of the other, without putting up resistance. Without surrender nothing can work, either friendship, nor partnership.
Surrender is not only for women. It is for all of the people. Men should surrender to the needs of the women too. See the true needs of the women and take on themselves the responsibility for their happiness. The reason why I pointed out that women need surrender in the first place, is because I see that the heritage of feminism, apart of the good things it brought, made a huge and successful campaign against it. Now, giving up on ones own is considered incorrect. If you are a woman you have a lot of "support" in the culture telling you not to do that. And under the same influences men nowadays tend to surrender to egotistical whims of the girls, which is not good either.
Jul 10 2011: Thanks Jaime. I didn't expect to be applauded.
I strongly believe that people should serve one another in all relationships, but I lose with the more popular approach to life: "I would rather rule in hell, than serve in heaven." Especially women react badly to the idea of serving men. This is FORBIDDEN to say. You will get eggs and tomatoes flying from both sides.
The cold hell of power-tripping is up for grabs, if people like this perversion. I found freedom and happiness in love and service, so that is possible too. The choice is up to the people.
Jul 10 2011: I think that the problems stems from human selfishness and trying to reap the benefits from the other, and not do FOR the benefit of other.
As you say, buying into social expectations is not the right thing to do. And we are all sensitive (both men and women) and KNOW when someone uses her/his position wrongly.
There is a way in which a woman needs to be taken care of, but if she perceives herself as a weak and needy to get that care out of a man - (gimme that!) - that is WRONG. And what she really needs then is that she needs to get straight.
By the way, there is also a way a man needs to be taken care of. And also men sometimes misuse this sound expectation, and tend to treat women as the tools for filling those needs, forgetting to notice the person.
This is selfishness what is screwing things up, not the nature of the genders. Genders as themselves, and people as themselves are good and equal and nothing can change it. Genders and people can be misunderstood, misused, abused, but their fundamental quality and equality, even if suppressed, will not change.
Jul 10 2011: As a woman I would not want to be seen as a property either. But surrendering is not making anyone into a property, and does not make anyone inferior. It is a freely given love. It needs to be accepted as such, and not abused.
I am absolutely standing for partnership. I think that both genders are glorious in themselves and perceiving them as unequal is insane to start with. There is beauty and potential in both, and to discover what it is, people would need to be willing to step into the dynamics between the two, and not try to erase the differences.
Any sane woman would not be willing to surrender to a man who does not see her as who she is, and just as an object of some sort. Surrendering in an oppressive relationship is not a good idea. I don't advertise it. God forbid!
But without being able to surrender, a woman will not find her full potential AS HERSELF. She thrives in a relationship where she can give herself fully in love, let go of reservations and jump. She is strong there, and powerful, not a victim. It takes risk to do it. And that's why she needs a man who will catch her when she jumps.
A woman needs a man to hold a moral standard in life. This is the strength in men that she is looking for. I am not talking about brute muscle power, I am talking about the strength of character, integrity. She must feel that a man would do right by her, who would hold her and love her, who would lead her in this tango called life. That's what I am talking about.
I am talking of a life of mutual devotion, not mutual exploitation.
Jul 9 2011: "feminism was a byproduct of men who abused their God given responsibilities to protect and love selflessly" I agree!
The thing is, apart from some positive achievements – like enabling women to vote, learn, work and divorce abusive husbands – it all went WAY too far. Feminism is a self-righteous ideology of hatred against men, an ideology to justify egotistical “I am my own person, and I will be doing what I want, and when I want” kind of thinking.
In the western world majority of women became demanding and bossy. Under their influence men became wimpy. This is what "the modern women" want - a man she can easily manipulate. Woman made so much harm to the picture of man. Woman are able to abuse men easily without any consequences. It is a popular view that men are pigs, wimps, clumsy idiots. For God’s sake! I go to work and I hear my colleague complaining about her boyfriend: “Again, he didn’t do that. Well, he is of men.” How abusive! And she is not alone in her opinion. But I beg to differ.
Real men are worthy of great desire and big love! Girls, have you ever felt seen through by a man of character? A real man triggers in a woman the passions that are her very core of being, huge emotions, huge energy, madness, wilderness, life. And also, desire to serve and take care of all his needs, and give herself away completely. Men need to be loved and supported to be strong and ready to meet the needs of women. We don’t need feminism anymore, we need women to revise their picture of men and heal them, strengthen them, love them, and love them more.
We don’t need more girls to be dry like sticks, lifeless and professional. We don’t need more men turning into housewives. We need real men and women. Yes, men with integrity, honesty and selflessness, and women willing to surrender, love and give themselves to men.
Mutual love and service is what people miss. More love and care, and no more feminism, please.
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A reply on Conversation: What about REAL LOVE?
A reply on Conversation: If you could ask God one question??? What would it be?
The Creation of God is fabulous, beautiful, amazing. Each and every plant and animal, the colors, the lights, the matter of various forms. I think God would be interested in speaking in more detail about how it all has been created. I believe God is just as passionate a Creator as every human creator. We got this passion from somewhere!
I don't know if you spoke with a human creator. They would tell you all about their work in details and with huge enthusiasm. And as much as I know God, He would as well. So in my view, you are misrepresenting God.
A comment on Conversation: What about REAL LOVE?
It is unhealthy if someone is attached to being romantically involved, but real love exists IN relationships to the others. How can you call it love if it has nothing to to with SOMEONE? I call it a self-pleasing illusion, as many that are popular today.
Intimacy for a human being IS the water for a fish. It doesn't need to be man-woman relationship. Deep committed friendships would do it.
It is sad that people get to believe in self-growth and think that it can replace relationships, that they can "be happy for oneself". It is trying to talk oneself out of a heartbreak of not having anyone to share the deep feelings, thoughs and together consider the challenges of life. The self-talk "I am whole by myself" is just a compensation for: "I feel empty." Going to self-growth seminars serves as an attempt to get to experience something that would soothe the pain. It works for the time of the seminar, but once you live the room, you are back on your own, Jack, and your heart aches.
But what do I know, maybe that is what people want. It sells well. I would just say: "yes, what about real love?"
A reply on Conversation: Our modern societies still need feminism
There is nothing wrong in being sensitive and effeminate.
The problem is that if people lose their polarity is makes them poorer and less alive. A man and woman experience themselves as such in the relationship to one another. If you want a big spark, you need to have opposite poles. But most of all, it is the power of love, that needs to be there for the spark to appear, and then not to let it die out, but keep the fire going. People need to love and care for one another, to discover the goodness of the other and in order to learn about oneself. If two people build a loving relationship, where there will be enough care and sensitivity for the other, it is a gold mine. There one can find the treasures of who we are as men and women. There is HUGE potential there. Dig love and you will find that out.
A reply on Conversation: Our modern societies still need feminism
You are very right, Helena, it is not only the men who should practice honesty, selflessness, and integrity. ALL people need it, indeed. Most and for all. Most and for all people should live in integrity. It is in fact the lack of it that makes all the conflicts between people and between genders, injustice. People are failing to give to the others the right appreciation, the right recognition, the right support. People are failing to see and acknowledge the reality of others and that is the main problem.
When I speak about surrender to men I mean surrendering to the needs of the men, supporting them, appreciating them, paying attention to them, being willing to give up on what you want, in order to fill the need of the other. There is a way a mother surrenders to the needs of her child. At work, one needs to surrender to the boss, in the sense of being willing to fulfill ones own responsibilities and being willing to do what one is asked to do. It doesn't mean that there is no place for consideration, discussion, creativity and ones own input. But basically surrender is the willingness to give up on ones own personal wants for the sake of the other, without putting up resistance. Without surrender nothing can work, either friendship, nor partnership.
Surrender is not only for women. It is for all of the people. Men should surrender to the needs of the women too. See the true needs of the women and take on themselves the responsibility for their happiness. The reason why I pointed out that women need surrender in the first place, is because I see that the heritage of feminism, apart of the good things it brought, made a huge and successful campaign against it. Now, giving up on ones own is considered incorrect. If you are a woman you have a lot of "support" in the culture telling you not to do that. And under the same influences men nowadays tend to surrender to egotistical whims of the girls, which is not good either.
A reply on Conversation: Our modern societies still need feminism
I strongly believe that people should serve one another in all relationships, but I lose with the more popular approach to life: "I would rather rule in hell, than serve in heaven." Especially women react badly to the idea of serving men. This is FORBIDDEN to say. You will get eggs and tomatoes flying from both sides.
The cold hell of power-tripping is up for grabs, if people like this perversion. I found freedom and happiness in love and service, so that is possible too. The choice is up to the people.
A reply on Conversation: Our modern societies still need feminism
As you say, buying into social expectations is not the right thing to do. And we are all sensitive (both men and women) and KNOW when someone uses her/his position wrongly.
There is a way in which a woman needs to be taken care of, but if she perceives herself as a weak and needy to get that care out of a man - (gimme that!) - that is WRONG. And what she really needs then is that she needs to get straight.
By the way, there is also a way a man needs to be taken care of. And also men sometimes misuse this sound expectation, and tend to treat women as the tools for filling those needs, forgetting to notice the person.
This is selfishness what is screwing things up, not the nature of the genders. Genders as themselves, and people as themselves are good and equal and nothing can change it. Genders and people can be misunderstood, misused, abused, but their fundamental quality and equality, even if suppressed, will not change.
A reply on Conversation: Our modern societies still need feminism
I am absolutely standing for partnership. I think that both genders are glorious in themselves and perceiving them as unequal is insane to start with. There is beauty and potential in both, and to discover what it is, people would need to be willing to step into the dynamics between the two, and not try to erase the differences.
Any sane woman would not be willing to surrender to a man who does not see her as who she is, and just as an object of some sort. Surrendering in an oppressive relationship is not a good idea. I don't advertise it. God forbid!
But without being able to surrender, a woman will not find her full potential AS HERSELF. She thrives in a relationship where she can give herself fully in love, let go of reservations and jump. She is strong there, and powerful, not a victim. It takes risk to do it. And that's why she needs a man who will catch her when she jumps.
A woman needs a man to hold a moral standard in life. This is the strength in men that she is looking for. I am not talking about brute muscle power, I am talking about the strength of character, integrity. She must feel that a man would do right by her, who would hold her and love her, who would lead her in this tango called life. That's what I am talking about.
I am talking of a life of mutual devotion, not mutual exploitation.
A reply on Conversation: If you could ask God one question??? What would it be?
A reply on Conversation: Our modern societies still need feminism
The thing is, apart from some positive achievements – like enabling women to vote, learn, work and divorce abusive husbands – it all went WAY too far. Feminism is a self-righteous ideology of hatred against men, an ideology to justify egotistical “I am my own person, and I will be doing what I want, and when I want” kind of thinking.
In the western world majority of women became demanding and bossy. Under their influence men became wimpy. This is what "the modern women" want - a man she can easily manipulate. Woman made so much harm to the picture of man. Woman are able to abuse men easily without any consequences. It is a popular view that men are pigs, wimps, clumsy idiots. For God’s sake! I go to work and I hear my colleague complaining about her boyfriend: “Again, he didn’t do that. Well, he is of men.” How abusive! And she is not alone in her opinion. But I beg to differ.
Real men are worthy of great desire and big love! Girls, have you ever felt seen through by a man of character? A real man triggers in a woman the passions that are her very core of being, huge emotions, huge energy, madness, wilderness, life. And also, desire to serve and take care of all his needs, and give herself away completely. Men need to be loved and supported to be strong and ready to meet the needs of women. We don’t need feminism anymore, we need women to revise their picture of men and heal them, strengthen them, love them, and love them more.
We don’t need more girls to be dry like sticks, lifeless and professional. We don’t need more men turning into housewives. We need real men and women. Yes, men with integrity, honesty and selflessness, and women willing to surrender, love and give themselves to men.
Mutual love and service is what people miss. More love and care, and no more feminism, please.