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About Me

Born: January 27, 1944, I lived my first 18 months in Elk Point, S.D. with relatives who loved and cherished me. At the end of the war, my parents (total strangers) took me away to Sioux Falls, and a childhood of frustration and the feeling that I did not belong. Elementary school was boring (ADD?) and reading was difficult. (I still read at the same speed as I read aloud.) My parents (both children of farms, with eighth grade educations) were well-meaning, but did not know the importance of validation and encouragement. I often looked up at the S.D. State Penitentiary that overlooked our neighborhood, wondering if it might be an omen. (Fortunately, I was later able to forgive my parents as well as myself for our shortcomings.)

After being honorably discharged -with service in Vietnam and Germany- from the US Army in 1969 (less than one month after my youngest brother was killed on the highway), I decided to settle in Washington, D.C. At Federal City College (later, UDC) I took numerous art courses, but did not fare well in courses that required much reading. I dropped out, became enamored with the anti-war movement, and was part of the fledgling Vietnam Veterans Against the War. I messed around with the usual "sex, drugs and rock and roll" of the era.

In 1972, while living in a "commune," I met my present wife of more than 35 years at a poetry group. She has mild cerebral palsy, and does walk, although doctors who examined her as an infant thought she would not be able. She inspires me daily. (Although, if you tell her I said so, I will be forced to deny it.) She is featured in the book, "Chronicles of courage :very special artists" by George Plimpton.

Early in our relationship, we were introduced to Re-evaluation Counseling, which gave us an understanding of the true nature of humans, and how they fall into destructive behavior patterns, and the process of healing from the hurts that created the patterns. It has helped us both to survive the challenges of our sometimes rocky relationship. It also helped me get control of smoking and drugs, both of which I left behind over thirty years ago.

Meanwhile, we have raised a daughter who now teaches third grade, is married, and has a daughter of her own.

Sometime near the tenth anniversary of my brother's death, I decided that I wanted to dedicate myself to making a difference for highway safety. It was certainly not possible to study to become a traffic engineer, but, if I spent some time, driving for a living, I thought that I might be able to gain insight into traffic unsafety, then find a way to apply that knowledge. Now, after thirty years of driving/observation, and some clumsy efforts and false starts, I feel that I have finally reached a point at which, with help, I may be able to make that difference.

Location:
United States, Silver Spring, MD
Current organization:
gridlocksmith.com
Current role:
Founder
Gender:
Male
Areas of expertise:
not "expert" at anything - always learning
I am:
Activist, Blogger, Change Agent, Concerned citizen, Designer, Global soul, Idea generator, Photographer, Social entrepreneur, Writer/Editor
Associations:
member of American Automobile Association
My website links:
gridlocksmith
Universities:
S.O.H.K. (School Of Hard Knocks) no degree
Member Picture

More About Me

I'm passionate about

Saving lives on the road, empowering us to make cars + roads safer, spreading kindness, forgiveness and cooperation - elements needed for world peace, starting with "road peace" displacing road rage.

An idea worth spreading

Think globally (world peace); act locally ("road peace" = driving with kindness and forgiveness, stubbornly setting the safe example). As we alter attitudes toward each other on the road, these new attitudes can spread into other areas of our lives, building new social norms that can be the foundation for world peace.

Second version: (Which works better for you?)

As humans, we must evolve into more caring, thoughtful, patient, forgiving and loving beings in order to create "World Peace." Such a huge undertaking will be more manageable in smaller pieces. Why not start by paying attention to how we treat each other on the road? It is a place where people tend to notice each others' actions. By setting the best example we can, we will, with time, begin to create "Road Peace." After developing the habit of treating others kindly on the road, we may find ourselves doing so in other places as well. Then, we will be on the road to World Peace.

Talk to me about

"Road peace" - thoughtfulness, kindness and forgiveness as the new social mores. How does a grass roots traffic safety activist (not incorporated) find financial sponsorship?

People don't know that I'm good at

teaching what I know. Reaching others with understanding and empathy. Sharing how the true (good) nature of humans can be thwarted by emotional distress. Finding the fun in any job. short poetry,humor

My TED Story

In spite of being raised in a family where encouragement and validation were unheard of, I can boast of winning a prize in high school for my poetry, being praised by an art teacher as the most imaginative person he had known, and while in high school chorus, appeared in two plays, concurrently ( the lead in a school production of "Joe's Girl" and as a gambler/lookout in the Sioux Falls Playhouse production of "Guys and Dolls") In 1962, as a senior, did volunteer work on George McGovern's first US Senate election. This led, two years later, to working at the Democrat state HQ.
Years later, I settled in D.C. where I was one of a small group of Vietnam Veterans Against the War. My "hippy years" had begun, and I worked with a food co-op, attended co-op conferences, worked with an alternative weekly paper called, "The Daily Rag," running the paper recycling project.
While I never cared for alcohol, quitting tobacco and recreational drugs was a challenge. Co-counseling helped

Comments

  • TEDCred score: +3.00 TEDCred reflects your contribution to the TED community.

  • A comment on Talk: Sheikha Al Mayassa: Globalizing the local, localizing the global

    Feb 9 2012: The speaker, Sheikha Al Mayassa, mentions building bridges, and that is more easily done, when both sides want the bridge. A common benefit will motivate us to work together.

    We humans are at the point that we must act to create true World Peace. (As the saying goes, "Co-existence or No existence!" How is that for a common motivation?) But, we seem not to have come up with a way to start building that gives every person a part to play.

    The answer, I think, relates to the global/local/global idea. Here is my proposal: All of us interact with each other (awarely or not ) in traffic. Whether we walk, cycle or drive, we can decide to treat each other with respect, patience and thoughtfulness ( knowing that those who are kind and wise enough to create world peace, are sure to treat each other well in traffic ) and by this means, we learn how to be people of peace. So, the global desire for peace motivates individuals to act, locally, and the practice is then spread around the globe.

    Should I set up a conversation around this?
  • +1

    A reply on Talk: Sheikha Al Mayassa: Globalizing the local, localizing the global

    Feb 9 2012: I like the analogy. Wouldn't it be great, if people could co-exist as well as vegetables do?

  • A reply on Conversation: The Right of Free Travel (visa-free) for Every Human Being on Planet Earth

    Aug 21 2011: Humans are going to need to accept the idea that our purpose in life is to serve each other, not harm one another, before we have evolved to the point that we can have World Peace. Those of us who decide to grow more kind, thoughtful, patient, forgiving, etc... in short, more human, can measure our progress by monitoring how well we treat each other on the road. Road-Peace will be a step toward World Peace. (see my conversation on this, please)

  • A reply on Conversation: Why do we allow money to limit the supply of all food?

    Aug 13 2011: This conversation starts with the question: "Why do we allow money to limit the supply of all food?" Discussing the role of money seems appropriate to me.
  • +1

    A comment on Conversation: What kind of basic knowledge shall we offer to the young students from now on?

    Aug 11 2011: Thumbs up to Thomas for a great list.

    I can add that there is a process of recovering from hurts that has been unawarely trained out of us.(ex: "What are you laughing at?" and "I'll give you something to cry about!") Laughing, crying, yawning, shaking and talking(non-repetitively) are all parts of he process that nature - or God - has given us. Failure to clear out the accumulated hurts interferes with clear thinking and installs negative behavior patterns. Those negative patterns may also have started due to denial of attention, a true human need. In order to gain attention, children will resort to negative behavior. (Even a spanking is better than no attention at all.) Rather than having "talks" we need to have "listens" with no unsolicited advice, no criticism, and no snide remarks. There is more to this, but, you see the general idea.

    One more thing that I wish all people to realize: our purpose in life is to serve each other. With everyone acting on this, despotism and avarice will be left behind.

  • A reply on Conversation: A new peace movement, that set in a place where we can decide to be the compassionate humans that we must become to create World Peace.

    Aug 9 2011: Sympatico, bro! That is the challenge... many who feel powerless in their lives, get a feeling of power behind the wheel, which they feel is usurped by other drivers, who may go faster, or change lanes in front of them, or whatever affront... We need to think of ways to get folks to realize the power of kindness and thoughtfulness.

    One way to present "Road Peace" is as the way to displace road rage.

    I wonder if all the folks partaking in this discussion can bring it to the attention of others. Let's turn on more people to the treasures of TED.

    This will be a tough week, as I am caring for my grand-daughter (12 weeks old)... but I shall return! PS- I deleted this from above, since it did not post as a reply, + moved it here. Am I being totally A. Compulsive?

  • A reply on Conversation: A new peace movement, that set in a place where we can decide to be the compassionate humans that we must become to create World Peace.

    Aug 7 2011: Thanks! I will be checking out your site.
  • +1

    A reply on Conversation: A new peace movement, that set in a place where we can decide to be the compassionate humans that we must become to create World Peace.

    Aug 7 2011: Sorry for the delay... lots to do. Anyone can help spread the ideas, encourage friends to check out the site, get some of the bumper stickers (shipping for 10 is the same as for one, plus, there is a discount) give them to friends. The site could use lots of improvement. Know anyone who can tutor me?
    I'm just one guy
    Who's scraping by.
    With little college;
    Even less knowledge...
    Still, I have to try.

    Thanks for your interest.
  • +2

    A comment on Conversation: TIME TO END THE ISLAMOPHBIA.What happened in Norway is so sorrowful. Why did it happen? what is the solution of this problem?

    Jul 31 2011: I cannot explain what happened in Norway. Perhaps a nut case, with no concern for others, was greedy for attention. Since he is likely to be locked away for many years, we may someday know his true motivations
    .
    Does "ISLAMOPHOBIA" actually exist? Phobias are irrational fears. If I fear that the moon is going to fall on my house, you would agree, with most others, that my fear is irrational.

    After 9-11, and so many other attacks on civilians around the world, it would be irrational to believe that there is no cause for fear. If members of this peaceful religion do not call for an end to such attacks, we are left with reason to suspect that most Muslims endorse the killings of infidels.

    Could it be that there is no such peace movement because peaceful Muslims fear for their own safety? Would it be an irrational fear?

    These realities (and many more) need to be considered in order to give ourselves a chance to understand, and be at peace with, each other. May you receive these thoughts with the compassion that I send them, and may we have true peace and love among all people.
  • +1

    A comment on Conversation: A new peace movement, that set in a place where we can decide to be the compassionate humans that we must become to create World Peace.

    Jul 30 2011: We will never know what we can do, if we fail to even try. You point out some seriously challenging pieces that need to be looked at. Thanks for contributing.
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