CK KUMAR

retired., Consultancy
Thrissur, India

About CK

Languages

English

Areas of Expertise

Marketing, Surgical lighting

An idea worth spreading

stop abuse of alcohol

I'm passionate about

Helping people to recover from alcoholism

Talk to me about

recovery from addictions

Favorite talks

Comments & conversations

132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
What is your favourite quote and why?
That is a profound quote according to me. So are the other two quotes in comments-'tree' and 'clapping'. Such questions help us remain humble. They are pointers as the finger pointing the moon. Thanks and regards to you, Sunny.
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
I agree with your observation, Collen. The example I have given is misleading. I have not made the underlying principle apparent. I will elucidate on it. Imagine yourself in a situation where your partner asks you a certain amount of money as a loan. From your earlier experience, you doubt that your partner has no intention of giving it back to you ever. You are also aware that your vulnerability in such situations always worked negatively to yourself. Irrespective of this, you extend your help. The result is you feel cheated. As most people do, you later overcome this ill feeling with positive effort. Instead of that I suggest that you accept your vulnerability at that moment. Accept that, you have just been cheated. You accept that you are vulnerable. It is a quality that was in built in you by nature. That quality irrespective of being defective was your inheritance. In that seeing and with that acceptance, you stop condemning. You are not ashamed of it anymore as it is the truth and you are being honest. I assure you that “at that moment”, you will experience a joy. You will experience unconditional love to yourself. Anyone in relationship with you will become acceptable to you as you have stopped judging. You see dishonesty of your partner as his trait as what he has been given by nature. You are at peace. The conflict, the ill feeling, has disappeared. You have begun your journey in accepting all reality surrounding your life as they are and not as they are expected to be. You will begin to respond to situations rather than react to them..
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
Thank you, Colleen. The “level at which I speak’ may appear impractical. I spoke about such a level because unconditional love is difficult to practice. However, it is decidedly much possible for anyone to live in a relaxed and satisfying manner irrespective of indifferent or uncaring partners and friends. Acceptance is one of the helpful prctices. What I mean by accepting the bad and ugly in ourselves is to acknowledge that, yes, it is there in ourselves. At that point, no further action is needed such as deciding to keep the good and hoping to throw out the rest. As an example, imagine a lady who has a habit of overspending whenever she goes for shopping, and later lying to her husband to hide the extra expense. In practice, I am outlining she is expected to accept that she has such a bad trait. Once she does that she may surprisingly find herself capable of accepting the habit of her husband lying about the exact number of drinks he has had. More and more acceptance will lead to more and more unconditional acceptance. A lady had commented about the pain in being treated as a door mat. In my opinion that could be avoided if she also accepts that she is doing nothing to prevent such abuse. Her own inaction is augmenting the unjust treatment given to herself. I appreciate your observations and comments. My repects and love to you.
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
Continued reply to Ms. Linda Taylor ~~~~~~~ To experience unconditional love we must first love ourselves. This is a prerequisite for love in all relationships and Ms. Colleen Steen has effectively explained this aspect. To love us, we must first accept ourselves. We must accept us with all our abilities and disabilities; accept our beauty and ugliness; accept our jealousy, greed, perverseness, fear and every other thing we have been pushing under the carpet of our mind. Once we learn to ‘love’ most other difficulties we have been facing will disappear by themselves. We can make a beginning to find the source deep down in each one of us, the gate to the eternal love that can never be blemished by any condition that is happening in the mind or the world outside. Unconditional love can happen only in us and not in the other persons involved. There is also no need for it as once we are unconditionally loving, the actions or responses of others are irrelevant to us. This is a response to all your comments. It is still only an introduction to unconditional love so that from now we may continue to discuss in agreement with Colleen and others. With love and respects to you.
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
I agree with you, Linda, that we are talking about two or more types of love. There are different words to indicate the extent of this emotion such as affection, passion, empathy, compassion and many other but no one of them are quite love. In the same way, you may agree that pleasure; happiness and joy are not the same. Let us look at these emotions very attentively. Pleasure can be derived from anything that would satisfy our sense organs, such as food, sights, sounds and other stimulations. Happiness is of the mind. Good relationships, success in life and anything that satisfies our mind and ego will bring happiness. But joy is rare and unique. It is of our self, our being, our divinity. It has to be reached. Pleasures are of fleeting nature. They are soon replaced by their opposite pain. Happiness turns to unhappiness. Joy exists alone. Once reached it remains forever. I hope you will agree with me that to reach such joy we will have to overcome (transcend) mind. The ego will have to be dropped. Can you imagine the effort that is needed in such a spiritual practice? I am talking about that kind of unconditional LOVE that can exist along with JOY and not the love that surfaces and submerges in day to day living. Let us not be concerned about the source of love. Let us go ahead with the hypothesis the science document upholds. I am certain that that love cannot remain and flourish in the mind. Mind is an equipment for survival. Mind is logical and one of its constant function is comparison. The love that is created by mind is an illusion. An illusion that feeds the ego. Love has to be an experience. I shall continue as this space is a concern-
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
Are you referring to the identity of two people as separate individuals ? The individuality of each ? That is part of our ego. In the spiritual level, those identities disappear as they are only our illusions . Someone leaving you so that you may live better is not unconditional love. It is a sacrifice by the other person. It is an end. It has no continuity. Love is ongoing. It is an experience of our being (self) Love can never get toxic as our minds cannot reach and contaminate it. Love comes from our heart.
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
Are you referring to the identity of two people as separate individuals ? The individuality of each ? That is part of our ego. In the spiritual level, those identities disappear as they are only our illusions. Someone leaving you so that you may live better is not unconditional love. It is a sacrifice by the other person. It is an end. It has no continuity. Love is ongoing. It is an experience of our being (self). Love can never get toxic as our minds cannot reach and contaminate it. Love comes from our heart.
132570
CK KUMAR
Posted over 2 years ago
Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)
Expecting to receive unconditional love from others itself is a condition. To ‘be’ in love unconditionally with another person is a spiritual state. It is an experience. Kindly try to contemplate on that state and you would realize it is not an easy task. To love number of people unconditionally is to be in compassion as we have seen in Buddha and Christ. Yes, the caste and all other systems by which we have divided ourselves will have to go. To have a society that would love each other is perhaps a dream but an ideal dream to motivate each one of us to contribute towards it.