Dee Emmert Posted 11 months ago Divorce should be cheap and accessible. If one spouse is abusive, should the children spend half their time with the abuser? Does it make a difference if only the spouse, not the children are abused? Does it make a difference if it is physical, psychological or financial abuse? Can an abused spouse be expected to advocate effectively against the abusive spouse? My ex was emotionally and financially abusive of me? As a psychologist, he was able to seem reasonable and make me seem crazy? For years, my children spent one week with me and the next with their father. The divorce cost me $60K--I have no idea how much their father spent. Fortunately, my attorney was willing to wait until I received the funds from my divorce settlement to be paid--a very good thing since it took eight years before my ex finally paid me off (out of the profits on the money that he owed me). I accepted a settlement that was well below half simply to be done with it. My ex repeated called the police if I didn't do exactly what he wanted, even when it was contrary to court order. My attorney spoke truth when he said "the best revenge is a life well-lived." I have been divorced since 1995--and have a very good life.