"Work is love made Visible" Kahil Gibran,
I am an Artist, Writer and Certified Life Coach living in Adelaide, South Australia with my partner, David (Sal).
We own and operate a community based training, education and digital media company and are passionately committed to giving a voice and creative opportunities for the people whose stories are not usually heard.
The power of Story has the power to transform.
We recognise that we are living and creating on traditional Aboriginal Land and we acknowledge our respect to the Kaurna people, the Elders and the Ancestors as the traditional owners of the Adelaide Plains. I am profoundly grateful to the Aboriginal Women who have allowed me to share in their stories.
Aboriginal Culture and the traditional custodians of this land practice sophisticated environmental relationships, complex, healthy family systems and the Communal (collective) over the Individualistic values and practices of the western world in ways that all Australians can learn from on all levels.
I am commited to making a contribution to our world becoming a more Peaceful and mature place during these challenging times of change and opportunity.
I have worked in the area of homelessness and Art based personal development for over 20 years and am constantly inspired by the changes that occur when people reconnect with the creativity that flowed so freely in childhood.
One of the highlights of my work is that I am able to design black and white Mandala / motivational templates and posters for people to color in as a form of self-reflection, meditation and relaxation.You can see images of how they work here:
Healing Power of Nature:
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2007/09/20/the-healing-power-of-nature/
and here
World Peace Begins at Home:
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/world-peace-day-september-21st/
This kind of Creative process gives people a break from Thinking and returns them to the meditative reflective state through the rhythmic process of coloring, creativity and the restorative power of the imagination.The brain slows down to the relaxed alpha state when it is engaged with Creativity, giving access to the deeper Self, the subconscious mind and the untapped Wisdom within.
As Children we all loved to play, laugh, share, create and expand…regardless of our culture, race or religion. Therefore returning to the place of the unencumbered child, with the wisdom, creativity and vision of the adult offers an infinite number of new approaches to old problems.
You might like to check out The Magical Child in Exile that I wrote to honour the journey of reclaiming our authentic creative Self: http://carolom.wordpress.com/2007/01/02/the-magical-child-in-exile/
As human beings we all share a common need for security and connection, belonging and purpose. It is by recognising and focussing on our commonalities that we are able to contribute to the Global Community, rather than experience the separation and disconneciton that we are seeing so much of today.
The answers are within each and every one of us. We just need to Remember who we really are and that regardless of which of the skins we are in we are all One within.
Creativity as a medium for change and connecting people beyond our illusion of separateness & division.
The Mandorla is an idea well worth Remembering and spreading far and wide! The Mandorla is the name of the almond shape that is created when two circles meet.
Within the Mandorla we recognise our commonalities that we all share as Human Being and the space in the circles outside of the Mandorla is where we celebrate our differences and learn from one anothers stories, culture and beliefs.
World Peace does not require building bridges between differences. It is a far simpler process of recognising, strengthening and developing our existing connections from within the Mandorla where we are All One.
The Mandala- A Sanskrit word meaning Circle, similar in name and meaning to the Mandorla is another powerful tool for expressing and developing Creativity and Connection.
Taming chickens.
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A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
We also support women through what I think of as dealing with "duality"
e.g When she was giving birth and he held her hand and they wept together afterwards, that was real and deep and authenitc. When he bashed and terrorised and intimidated, that was also real and runs deep.
In Shelters women are often very wary about saying "I still love him" because her children are at risk and support is often reliant on leaving him and / or pressing charges.
in a world where things are supposed to be one way OR the other, it is important that women who have experienced abuse have the opportunity to talk about "opposites" E.g "Im glad I am out of there, I hate him"..."I want to go home, I love him".
I create art tools that enble us, in a relaxed creative setting, to discuss some of the highly complex things like having equally strong but totally opposite emotions or worrying about him committing suicide but also wishing he was dead.
These are intensely powerful and overwhelming dualities that women will often hold inside in a state of confusion and shame.
One of our ART of Change Tools is the Warrior Woman. She is a figurine we colour and cut out as we sit in a talking circle. One of the lessons of the Warrior Woman is her heart that has several layers to depict that the heart is not a simple, one dimensional aspect of us but beats with dualities and opposites with love for those who have hurt as as well as yearning for what COULD be and perhaps one day will.
Dr Barbara De Angelis has a great Qand A page on her site that deals with the question about the "chemistry"of being attracted to the "bad boy" and I often refer women to her writings as she really nails the issues of domestic violence and toxic relationships.
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
Isolation is key to domination and technology like phones and computers can be used against a woman but I am sure there are many possibilities to yet invented that can make gathering evidence or reaching outside help much easier than it currently is.
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
I would very much like to hear any feedback you have on the following piece that is based on your words and well meaning intent.
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ode-to-the-rescuer/
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
regarding your question- At this stage as a "concerned bystander" I would focus on building your relationship in creative ways, doing things like scrap booking together, inviting her for a creativity and coffee afternoon, offering baby sitting, help with transport and shopping id needed and use the time just to be there. Not tackle issues or question her just do fun creative things together.
At our shelter we spent a lot of our time as staff building relationships, sitting in circles colouring Mandalas, sharing food, going on picnics and creating a non-judgemental, energetic space that becomes, over time, a place where women felt safer to share and confide than if we went straight for the "issues"and challenged her "love" in light of his violence and controlling behaviours.
I create personal development art for women in domestic violence shelters based on taking an informal, creative approach to building support networks and trusting relationships. You can get a picture of what I am suggesting from my blog which shows how we indirectly approach the highly sensitive issues of negative relationship patterns and social isolation by controlling partners:
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2007/09/20/the-healing-power-of-nature/
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
I wrote the following and dedicated it to my lifelong friend who was killed by her husband who then killed himself in front of their children whilst she was waiting for things to "change"...
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ode-to-the-rescuer/
A reply on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
You deserve a loving, peaceful and respectful relationship. A mature relationship not an attachment to a boy-man ( emotionally immature) who has decided he owns you and can hurt you.
Have a read of this piece I wrote for women in domestic violence shelters. You may find something in there that speaks to you and perhaps look at why you have allowed yourself to be treated so badly when you deserve to be treated well.
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ode-to-the-rescuer/
Congratulations on taking a first step Melanie, your realisation after seeing the video is spot on!
A comment on Talk: Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave
I also experienced "crazy love" that turned my life upside down and having lived it, absolutely understand why women stay . There are many reasons, toxic patterns and insidious dynamics and by way of honouring my friend Janet who died, I wrote the following piece.
It is called Ode to the Rescuer and for those who ask "why doesn't she leave" perhaps you will get a little bit of insight into one aspect of the co-dependant dynamics.
Ode to the Rescuer"
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ode-to-the-rescuer/
A comment on Conversation: I need a TED icebreaker video! How do I get someone hooked?
When I heard it I was thrilled to hear a world expert talk about the profoundly damaging aspect of western education that is predominantly science based (conform and compete) over creative curriculums that nurture lateral thinking and song, dsnce and movement (explore and expand).
Sir Kens talk resonated very much with a piece I wrote many years ago after meeting so many lost poets, traumatised visionaries, paralysed dancers and magicians with mental ilness in homeless shelters and refuges. Here is the story of how the education system creates so many of traumatised "Magical Children in Exile" who believe "I am not creative"
:
http://carolom.wordpress.com/2007/01/02/the-magical-child-in-exile/