Shalu Bhuchar

Founder & Principal Consultant, Magic Beans
New Delhi, India, India

About Shalu

I'm passionate about

Photography, Food, Writing, Life

Talk to me about

Life, humanity, people, food....

People don't know I'm good at

cooking, painting, photography, listening (not in that order!)

Comments & conversations

111253
Shalu Bhuchar
Posted about 2 years ago
What leads us to decide?
ummm...HUGE difference between conscience and conscious...i think it's important to acknowledge that first. Also, if it is "absolutely I who determines the authenticity" you're saying you are the authority :) By the way - again, what supports you to declare something authentic or inauthentic? Stimuli and inputs from your sub conscious. When you declare something authentic, you trust and rely on your judgment. Where does judgment come from? Stimuli to and responses from your sub conscious. You're right, the last time I bought medicines, i did not use my conscience as a sounding board, but I did use my sub consciousness to arrive at the decision to buy or not. the "vaguely remembered" part comes from the sub-conscious. The "heard" comes from the conscious. Similarly, insofar as "taking a call of your heart while deciding your choices" goes, you'd be surprised at how many choices are made and decisions taken merely due to the call of the heart...Ask every person who's done an impulse buy and then wished they hadn't. Ask every student who's made a career choice listening to those tugging at their emotions (from the heart) and chosen to do something that wasn't their first choice...ALL a beautiful play of the conscious and sub-conscious decisions.
111253
Shalu Bhuchar
Posted about 2 years ago
What leads us to decide?
Hi Pabitra, From where I see it - and that's only one angle - it's not as black and white as "is it authority or authenticity". While you rightly said there are multiple sources of authority, I wonder what we mean when we say "authentic". Who decides whether or not something is authentic? Who gives them the authority to decide that? Where then, do decisions come from. I'd say they come from all external stimuli that influence our conscious mind and yet most of us take our decisions relying on the signals that our sub- and super conscious give us, Hence, if my brother says jump in the lake and my sub- and super-conscious decree that my brother is right and to be trusted, I will. And yet, if my subconscious points out that my brother is not to be trusted, I may/will not jump!
111253
Shalu Bhuchar
Posted about 4 years ago
Neil Pasricha: What do you do to make your life awesome?
I listen and I let it be I smile and stay me I cook and let the fragrance tease I surrender my ego and appease I ask for forgiveness when I've been a pain I run into the wind and let it caress my face I jump, I prance, I dance in the rain I tap my feet to an awesome beat I start painting which, in a day, I complete I shoot touching moments - a toothless smile a gurgling baby, a pretty blossom... These are only some things I do To keep my life happy, fulfilled, awesome.
111253
Shalu Bhuchar
Posted about 4 years ago
Part II: When, How and Why have your most strongly held views changed?
Thanks Andrea, and yes, Wisdom would be a richer expression than Maturity. It encompasses what I'm saying and is not limited by demographics :) And there are so many incidents that converge to lead me to my POV here. Let me pick a few - I've a passion for photography and in my earlier Avatar where I wasn't good enough, one critical word from someone was enough for me to pack my camera in and not click anything for months together. I would also pick up a fight with/isolate myself from the individual. Then, as wisdom, self belief and self esteem came in, I saw that i'm listening to their POV on my photographs and giving them my take on why my photograph was shot the way it was. I also saw that I'm taking their feedback and trying it out the next time. If I like the result, I'm tucking that away in my long term memory. If I don't like the result, I'm going back to my own method! In the last organization where I worked, a colleague and I would be at loggerheads most of the time. One day invited her to hash it out and we discovered a mutual love for flawless, quality results. We agreed to complement each other's strengths and to agree to disagree where it mattered. Most importantly, we chose to drop our pre-conceived conversations about each other and ours became a team that delivered in any circumstance! Another one has to do with an acquaintance of mine. She and i share mutual friends. In my POV she has an issue with anyone who she perceives to have authority. According to my friend, she's just someone who's vulnerable and therefore abrupt. I used to get very annoyed with her and since looking at her world from my friend's POV, I see myself as accepting her the way she is and the way she's not. I'm also calmer now when she shoots off her mouth and don't react as I used to earlier. This gets her to calm down when she's around me now! So all in all, I see higher productivity and better relationships when we accept multiple TRUTHs and allow our POVs to be malleable.
111253
Shalu Bhuchar
Posted about 4 years ago
Part II: When, How and Why have your most strongly held views changed?
It's always interesting to read what other people think/believe about a particular subject and how they react/respond to it. What makes it interesting, first off, is the degree of one's openness and acceptance of another's point of view (POV) and more importantly the degree of attachment to one's OWN POV. Depending on this, mostly I notice my own "truth" converging with others when I find that their POV is on the same lines as mine, if not on the exact same track. (THAT would make me lu-hurv the other person!). Conversely the divergence happens when either the POV is different from mine or the conversation that starts in my head is "this guy/woman is out to get me and prove me wrong" - i.e. when I perceive a threat to me/my POV. The underlying belief has to do with the human (crazy) penchant for right/wrong; is/isn't; should/shouldn't, etc. This, of course, could start a whole new debate about "THE Truth", therefore I shall move on to the next point :D From where I stand - self/other discoveries wherein both agreements and disagreements are dynamically engaged – as they emerge -- CAN be meaningful, transformative or productive for both/all. This can happen on the fertile ground of maturity, self belief and high self -esteem. Even if we go back to Richard Berne - I'm OK, you're OK does lay the ground for the above. Maturity allows for an expanded horizon and the ability to look at multiple POVs. Self belief allows for putting forth one's own POV with conviction and relate it to other POVs in-depth. High self esteem allows for being able to accept that a) my POV isn't the only one; b) My POV holds lesser depth than another's and c) If I let go of my POV, it doesn't mean I'm small or stupid. Once these 3 are in place, that's when my listening becomes keener, my analysis deeper and my application more authentic, thereby making the discovery lasting and meaningful for myself - and if I can share it - for others. That is MY POV. Interested in what others have to say.
111253
Shalu Bhuchar
Posted about 4 years ago
Part II: When, How and Why have your most strongly held views changed?
Hello, Firstly apologies for not responding to two responses to my post on the previous question. Here are answers to that: @Debra Smith - The Landmark Forum (LF) is the flagship program of Landmark Education (LE). LE itself is a global training and development company that is in the business of transformation. If other training disciples add on to existing skill sets such that one can "improve" or "fix" or even "change" themselves, LE goes under all the knowledge that an individual has and works on whatever it is that is holding them back from achieving breakthrough results in areas of life that are important to people and in matters that people really care about. Anywhere from a 150 to 250 people attend the LF, though this may vary depending on the country and location the LF is being conducted in. The methodology used is an informal dialogue between the leader (facilitator/coach) and the participants - no videos are shown, no material given...there isn't even a need to take notes as all you're doing is working on yourself and applying the distinctions (main messages) shared to yourself and your life. The more you apply the distinctions in specific areas of your own life, the more the chances of a breakthrough in that area. You can read up the basics on www.landmarkeducation.com @Andrea: Sometimes the LF can also be fairly confronting - esp. with deeply held beliefs. One of my most disempowering beliefs about myself (and i had a few :)) was that "I'm not good enough" and I did whatever came to me to compensate for that - ALL 34 years of my life. Proving, yelling, being autocratic - you name it. The impact was on my relationships and self esteem. As I confronted that and took responsibility for altering that, the anger and restlessness inside me subsided. The first people to notice it - of course my parents. They started enjoying this new me - to the extent that they enrolled in doing the entire curriculum as well! Answering this question in another post.