TED Community » Agnius Balabonas

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• TEDCred score: +1.90 TEDCred reflects your contribution to the TED community.

• A reply on Conversation: Debate: Can non-standard monogamous relationships work?

  Oct 16 2012: A standard monogamous relationship is a relationship where there are only 2 partners. I wanted to discuss relationships involving more than 2 people. Hope that helps clarify.
  
  I wanted to address the main human drives and what kind of not purely monogamous relationships, where people have certain feelings for more than one person. What is possible, what are the issues, how to they differ from a normal relationship?
  As well as the physiological, psychological and cultural aspects influencing such relationships.
  
  I wanted to have a broad subject, that's why it includes a lot. I'm not a big fan of labeling things because labels like: friends with benefits, plural marriages and etc., Because it tends to distract people from the underlying human forces of influence.
  I also don't believe that institutionalizing an activity changes the core aspects of human beings that are already present. (You can argue about whether it's nature or nurture, but it's just my personal opinion)
  
  I want to discuss the core aspect and if any of these types of relationships were sustainable at all.
  But I thought it best to focus more on relationships where trust and honesty are core aspects of a relationship, secret affairs and those sort of things don't interest me as much and I believe they have already received a sufficient amount of interest.

• A comment on Conversation: Debate: Can non-standard monogamous relationships work?

  Oct 16 2012: To start of discussion I suggest you might be interested in reading:
  http://evolution.binghamton.edu/evos/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Can-You-Love-More-Than-One-Person-At-The-Same-Time.pdf A Research Report by William Jankowiak (University of Nevada) and Helen Gerth (University of Nevada)
  That handles mostly on two concurrent love relationships, though one of them is typically a secret.
  
  You may also watch the two relevant videos by Helen Fisher or read some of her books describing different types of love.
  
  I haven't yet read or seen any in-depth research material looking into polyamour arrangements where all the parties involved knew about each other.

• A reply on Talk: Eddie Obeng: Smart failure for a fast-changing world

  Oct 16 2012: I love your comment.. a lot of times.. I notice something funny about the talk and look through the comments to see if anyone says anything about it.. but what I ussually find is that the ted audience is way too serious and only offer constructive comments, which is nice, though every once in a while it is nice to see a lighthearted comment :)
• +17

  A reply on Talk: Mark Raymond: Victims of the city

  Mar 18 2012: I live in Denmark in a city called Aarhus, which has a lot of cafe's, parks, public libraries and communal spaces that make me feel welcome.
  
  I really love this city and it's vibrant culture.. and if you don't take people in to consideration what do you take in to consideration? buildings, money, efficiency.. are they not inventions by the people for the people
  
  Inequality, lack spaces for people to come together and relax destroys social trust.
  Lack of social trust creates hate, crimes, anxiety..
  
  I sincerely hope you'll will reconsider some of the things you've said.

• A comment on Conversation: Why do you use your voice in TED conversations?

  Feb 27 2012: I think it helps me crowd source knowledge.. there are unclear areas where it's very hard find decent info on.
  But here you have a lot of different, intelligent people to share their knowledge and ideas and it helps you get a better overall picture.

• A comment on Conversation: Is judging people good or bad? What are the effects both good and bad of both of the alternatives?

  Jan 31 2012: I think I gained some very valuable insight from all the comments so far.
  
  I think both philosophical and scientific views offer something to this discussion.
  
  To Edward: I think values was maybe too vague word to use. And you've pointed many important points.
  
  Though I think one persons objectivity may vary from another. Objectivity only exist when based on something, therefore there is no absolute objectivity.
  
  From some points of view, wanting to be objective or smart is also a value. But I understand your point.
  
  And I'm happy there is some constructive discussion.

• A comment on Talk: Dan Dennett: Responding to Pastor Rick Warren

  Jun 14 2010: I think he made nice observations, but you can't really generalize, I mean there are so many Christians and so many people. So I don't really see it fair to bring 50 year old sheet as some proof. And that sign that he showed at the ending, most of Christians including myself would deem it not right. Let's not forget that church is made up from individuals.
  I don't know if is religion is important enough to be made a compulsory subject, but I think there should be some source of information that could be as indifferent as possible. Never mind the truth for now religious activities or thinking patterns may 'cause either harm or benefits to the individual. But there should deffinetly be a more observative source. And as he said fact should be shown, and if opinions are to be displayed they should be regarded as such.

• A reply on Talk: Michael Specter: The danger of science denial

  May 3 2010: Uhm I don't really get what does it have to do with church, if anything we actually encourage people to take care of their health. And support vaccines, well at least Catholics I can't say so much about other religions.
• +6

  A comment on Talk: Jane McGonigal: Gaming can make a better world

  Mar 18 2010: I have played computer games throughout my childhood and it's more of a way to run away from You're life than something to help You. The skills I gained in games are pretty much useless in real life. While I do think that educating people through games might be good, since it's a fun way to learn. But If You look at the games we play to day, they are pretty much rubbish. Also the relationships in online games, thats rubbish, they're not real.. just online dating. While there are a few exceptions they'll never substitute the real world. It's just not the same.. It can be a way to communicate, but their not to build real relationships. And this will never change.
  I don't think games are bad, I play them for relaxation. Maybe some of them even train your visual field, reaction and creativity. But It's not something I would advise you to invest time in. If You you spend too much time on games You might not learn how to socialize.

• A comment on Talk: Srikumar Rao: Plug into your hard-wired happiness

  Mar 8 2010: I find this to be so true..
  I have already achieved most of goals I had, but I come with new goals not even knowing whether it's possible to achieve..
  And I see no end to this and sometimes I wonder is there any meaning to this.. yet I keep
  struggling.. hoping for a better life.
  But then I look at it objectively, my life's pretty good as it is, I just sometimes forget how to enjoy it, I have great friends, passion and many interests.
  Why do I worry so much about not gettin' a job I like or failing at love?
  I mean I'm doing my best.. and whatever the outcome I'll still be the same person. Besides failure is also a learning process.. Just look on the bright side.
  I shouldn't forget how to love my self..
  
  besides doing something with a passion and goal in mind is an enjoyable and rewarding experience.