Suz Carr Posted over 1 year ago How do you deal with passive aggressive individuals? You let a PA control you when you care what they think. When you get small, they have you. they will challenge your image you have of yourself. If you think you are a nice person. The will bet on that to get you. So you have to be willing to accept the fact that somepeople will consider you a B#@CH, SELFISH, UNCARING, It seems to cut to the chase with a clear but calm and considerate "What do you want?" Why are you telling me this? What do you want me to do about it? not defensive but clear. or " i am not interested right now in the opinions of other's, I am interested in what is bothering you." My you seem very angry.. ,, upset, "I understand your point, but I don't agree with you". About the $200 . Then you tell your sibling to step aside and leave you to handle the situation. let me make my own mistakes if necessary. it is insulting that they interfere with your process. If either the hotel clerk or you have a lesson to learn it is not to be resolved by you sibling. Boom. There are of course lots of different gradients of PA behaviour. PA's do not know boundaries or how to say no. NO! is already a deterent. No is already something that ruins the atmosphere. but then of course like a wave it builds up. So encouraging a PA to express what they want without reprocusion (judgment) and also knowing that they may also not get what they want, but will not be judged for it. will be very handy. The wave that comes after too much passivity usually is self anger that we have denied ourselves and made ourselves small by being too hard on ourselves and so therefore we lash out usually on someone we trust or feel close too enough to get angry with.... otherwise we wouldn't even dare. and over dramatize the situation. Now i know enough to say. I am probably being overly dramatic, but this is how I feel. Another sibling of mine, just avoids any deep conversation, and his partner insists there is nothing wrong, just say how you feel.