Jan 30 2013: Mary, I like your comment; The fine line is knowing when to highlight...
We should exchange ideas because I am baffled by this question. It costs me 3 jobs in the last decade and after therapy and anti-depressants, which I'm not convince help that much, I'm moving back to BC to find peace on my own. I have made a couple a dear friends there a few years back and they are, except for my 2 kids and with certain limits, the only other people on this planet that I can trust.
Jan 30 2013: Hi,
My entire family is passive aggressive and I'm the last of eleven kids and currently 49 years of age. I have lived through some very awful and difficult family and work situations and it seems like it always as to do with passive aggressive people, regardless of the situation itself. I'm curious to know why? Is it possible to be wise enough to counteract the effect of passive aggressive behavior in your immediate surroundings and life in general. I have come to my wits end trying to find a way to deal without cause and effect.
What do you want to know first? If I go chronologically it may take a while cause it starts before the age of 5 yrs old as I was sexually abuse by one of my brother (mid family one) and it ended when I was 5. I recall many things and images but I cannot specifically time any of them. When over with came the taboos. Could not talk about it ever otherwise it would end up in a total family dispute and nobody won. Of course booze being part of the equation never made it any easier. I was left to myself to deal with something I certainly did not understand and to top it all no one allowed me to talk either. Until I found myself with the same problems as my dear family always had, drinking had finally had the better of me...I pursued something that I had no idea about and was not armed with the proper defense tools to deal with the consequences of lots of my actions and decisions. I was living promiscuously but I did not like it. I was ashamed of what I had become....what I was forced too become. During that time I met now my ex partner and father of my 2 kids, now 24 and 26 years old. They are my life. Except for them, that relationship was doomed from the start and it took me years to find the nerve to walk out, but it costs me dearly. Many years in court battles regarding custody issues and I lost. Moves across Canada and finally the kids decides to come live with me. And the challenge continues...
Jan 30 2013: It make total sense. I loved it. But how do you deal with it on a daily basis? I have had the worse experiences and I often think that it's all related to vulnerability and too much of it. There is a need to teach people on how to deal with the worse consequences of their decisions and that is not thought in schools. My family certainly never thought me those principals or they tried but it got lost amongst the drinking, abuse and taboos, the do as I say not what I do kind of people. Yah I would have a lot to say and I will also join the conversation on how to deal with passive aggressive individuals too...
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A reply on Conversation: How do you deal with passive aggressive individuals?
We should exchange ideas because I am baffled by this question. It costs me 3 jobs in the last decade and after therapy and anti-depressants, which I'm not convince help that much, I'm moving back to BC to find peace on my own. I have made a couple a dear friends there a few years back and they are, except for my 2 kids and with certain limits, the only other people on this planet that I can trust.
A comment on Conversation: How do you deal with passive aggressive individuals?
My entire family is passive aggressive and I'm the last of eleven kids and currently 49 years of age. I have lived through some very awful and difficult family and work situations and it seems like it always as to do with passive aggressive people, regardless of the situation itself. I'm curious to know why? Is it possible to be wise enough to counteract the effect of passive aggressive behavior in your immediate surroundings and life in general. I have come to my wits end trying to find a way to deal without cause and effect.
What do you want to know first? If I go chronologically it may take a while cause it starts before the age of 5 yrs old as I was sexually abuse by one of my brother (mid family one) and it ended when I was 5. I recall many things and images but I cannot specifically time any of them. When over with came the taboos. Could not talk about it ever otherwise it would end up in a total family dispute and nobody won. Of course booze being part of the equation never made it any easier. I was left to myself to deal with something I certainly did not understand and to top it all no one allowed me to talk either. Until I found myself with the same problems as my dear family always had, drinking had finally had the better of me...I pursued something that I had no idea about and was not armed with the proper defense tools to deal with the consequences of lots of my actions and decisions. I was living promiscuously but I did not like it. I was ashamed of what I had become....what I was forced too become. During that time I met now my ex partner and father of my 2 kids, now 24 and 26 years old. They are my life. Except for them, that relationship was doomed from the start and it took me years to find the nerve to walk out, but it costs me dearly. Many years in court battles regarding custody issues and I lost. Moves across Canada and finally the kids decides to come live with me. And the challenge continues...
A comment on Talk: Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability