Louise French

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Louise French
Posted over 1 year ago
Tony Porter: A call to men
As a woman I'll give my opinion:- * Doesn't cry or express emotion - one of my pet hates, cannot bond with a guy who doesn't express emotion. * Doesn't show weakness or fear. Has courage. - courage is totally different to not showing weakness or fear. Refuses to show weakness or fear - again cannot bond with someone like that, you cannot understand them or their motivations in life. Courage, is different - courage is being comfortable with being vulnerable. That is ok. * Demonstrates power/control. Makes decisions. Does not need help. - The last two are fine, the first is complicated. Yes it is attractive, but not in the way you think. Being powerful and in control is someone who is comfortable in their own skin regardless of what other people think, its not overpowering others (that's insecurity). * Shows agression/dominance - dominance is a turn off. Aggression, only in the right situations - threats to physical self etc, aggression (as in take control, rather than violence or dominance) is very attractive because feeling safe is attractive. * Is a protector - Is attractive, but we're talking physical protection here, not dominance 'ie you can't do that because its not safe' That's just controlling and a turn off. * Is heterosexual - well yea, but hating on other sexualities is a turn off as is constantly telling everyone who you'd sleep with (we know you're hetero, we don't need a running commentary). * Is strong, tough, athletic - can't say what I find attractive, its usually instant and more to do with body language than looks.
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Louise French
Posted over 1 year ago
Johanna Blakley: Lessons from fashion's free culture
As a music tutor I fear that much musical skills will die a death because of copyright(and don't get me started on the art of sampling). Many people do not know the history of music. Music is not original and will never be, each 'new' thing has been built upon from the past. All composers were copiers. They actively encouraged it, copying compositions created understanding and helped the student create their own works. Without copying there would be know understanding, no analysis of why certain pieces, certain modulations work. There is nothing to build upon. Sharing, copying, creating, performing (performing=sharing and the cycle begins again) in that order. That's what is needed for musicians to learn and grow. Without that, music is dead. I really hope the music industry dies and lets real music come back to life. Transcribing, composing, improvising, learning songs, all these things are fraught with copyright laws that stop musicians from even bothering. A simple experimental composition shared online could be plagiarism of a song they've never even heard of, why risk it? Music cannot ever be owned there are only 12 notes for goodness sake. Musicians should be paid for their time accordingly like everyone else - but royalties and copyright, its seems to me that's just for the Record companies who want to monopolise the industry. If copyright stays it should only last 5-10 years from first promotion. That gives it enough time to gain popularity and earn some money. After that, its back to public domain so people dissect and recreate into something new and inspiring. The copyright is getting so ridiculous now that sounds a have copyright. If you use music software that has sounds, yea you copyright your composition but the sounds are someone else's. Its getting really silly. Even transcribing guitar tab is illegal (which is one the main ways ppl learn guitar). This problem needs to be SOLVED.
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Louise French
Posted about 2 years ago
Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys?
I believe that the latch on to technology is a symptom rather than cause. I have seen for many years, a growing lack of maturity in young adults. There is such a glorification of youth in the media. Staying young, doing things which are 'fun' but are usually irresponsible. Casual sex, drinking, drugs etc. There is more emphasis on this side of life. But responsibility, pride in our achievements, pride in doing a good job, having a stable relationship is rarely celebrated. It is often ridiculed (in media) or undermined in some way. Couple that with children staying longer and longer in the family home, staying in education longer and being in debt much sooner - it leads to dependency and a lack of maturity and sense of responsibility. Young adults are growing up dependant on others, pointing the finger at others when things go wrong. Add to that the rising divorce rates and broken homes and you have a recipe for disaster. You have abuse survivors stuck in a child state for their whole lives, bringing up children to be the same. There is no compassion/responsibility/respect. Everyone has to be perfect, no room for mistakes. Women turn to dieting, men turn to porn and everyone plays games to escape real life. We are stuck as children wanting instant gratification for everything. Soon all we'll need is a PC and a drip feed. We need to start honouring things that matter. Being a big man who's tough and will sleep with any hot chick is not what matters. Being a woman who's a size zero with perfect shaped breasts is not what matters. Having a great family, people that love you, a job you enjoy and making life better for those that come after you. Those things matter. We don't fix anything anymore, we have the ultimate throw away society now - not only do we throw away anything that's broken, we throw away relationships that 'don't work', or partners we are not happy with, we throw away body parts that aren't perfect. We need to grow up and stop justifying our bad behaviour
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Louise French
Posted over 2 years ago
Tony Porter: A call to men
If we were able to change our perceptions of what strength and courage is, then men wouldn't have to compromise. Courage means being true to the heart. You can be strong of character. Being able to cry while being unafraid of being perceived as weak takes courage and strength. Being able to say 'no' to your peer group and stand on your own takes courage and strength. Men can show vulnerablility and still be considered strong, in fact revealing vulnerability IS strength. Its just that attitudes of BOTH men AND women need to change when considering what strength really is. Women can keep men in the MAN BOX just as much as Men do. Have a watch of Brene Brown for more info on that. BTW Tony Porter speaks to men all the time, thats his job. The men are not being excluded, in fact this Ted talk is quite the opposite - its INCLUDING women in this issue (just in answer to those who say 'its a pity its only to women)
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Louise French
Posted over 2 years ago
Tony Porter: A call to men
I again disagree, your generalization is alarming. I am married to a man who is outside the man-box and I actively encourage him to continue to be this way. It helps me connect to him when he can talk about his feelings. In fact, ask many women who are already in relationships - I predict many will say that they prefer their partners to be able to talk about their feelings. I googled, dark triad scientific studies women and this is about narcissism. I have a mother who is narcissistic. They are attractive people because they have to be. Their whole existance is geared to feed off another. It has nothing to do with gender or finding a real relationship. If you end up in a relationship with someone like that it will not be pretty. If it is your sole purpose to attract someone for sex, do whatever you can. But if you are wanting a mate its better to be yourself else you end up pretending forever and being unhappy. Whatever your opinion is of women I seem to disprove your theory simply by existing.
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Louise French
Posted over 2 years ago
Tony Porter: A call to men
No, its not about 'acting' anything. A man doesn't have to 'act' or do anything. He is a man, and he's beautiful, an enigma. Men don't realize how amazing they are. They don't need to put on an act, square up, flex - in fact I rather they didn't. Its like having a skill and feeling so confident in it that you don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to prove anything. You just are. If both genders could be like that - its as though both genders have been made to feel inferior or something. It's weird, our attitudes to ourselves are just so wrong. Is it just a fear of not being good enough?
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Louise French
Posted over 2 years ago
Tony Porter: A call to men
I totally agree with you. Recently I have been exposed to the female gaze in cinema. It has become apparent that even in the media, it is not generally known what women find attractive. It has been assumed by men, men in advertising, male directors, male writers etc etc. what women find attractive. And there has been a lot of backlash against the female gaze, as though women can't find men physically attractive, as though its just not possible. I'm just making a point that men who fear that they won't be found attractive anymore don't really know what women find attractive, since it hasn't really been represented. And the generalization of attractiveness is pretty silly in itself. We are all different and all have different tastes. The main point is though, that I believe most women are rooting for those men willing to make changes (as well as finding them increasing in attractiveness!).
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Louise French
Posted over 2 years ago
Tony Porter: A call to men
The ancient 'macho' man would not have been stupid enough to beat and rape women. He would use his strength to protect his family. Affection and love would have released oxytocin which would have created strong bonds and trust to keep families together. This would keep extended families in close proximity protecting the young from predators and bad weather. Those that were stupid enough to use violence against women would not have formed bonds, there would not have been trust, families would not stay together and the young if even born healthily would be vunerable to predators and likely die. Even if those men succeed in forced slavery it would end in bloodshed and death as we have seen before.