Jacqui Dobens

Business Consultant, Coach and Mentor, TEDxTemecula Speaker
Temecula, CA, United States

About Jacqui

Bio

My foray into becoming an entrepreneur began at the age of 17 1/2 in the insurance industry. Truth be told, it actually began at our dining room table where my parents discussed our janitorial business. It was there that my sister, Janet and I learned that this was "our family" business. This being my foundation gave me strength when approached by my best friends dad to embark on insurance to immediately say yes! Realizing today that I am indeed a perfect blend of my parents provides tremendous balance for me. My dad was the outgoing and friendlier of the two of them. He never met a stranger, only unmet friends. I am exactly the same way. He was an entertainer, singer, musician and very bright and quick witted. Well, I didn't take to musical instruments much to his chagrin. Then there is my mom, Mumay. Sharp dresser, fashion maven, thinker, and problem solver. Cool during a crisis. I embody those traits I share ever so humbly (not.....channeling my dad right there)! Both of my parents instilled a love for reading and exploring that I am grateful for daily. I'm a cheerleader and a great friend. Known for believing in others more than they believe in themselves until they believe in themselves more! One of the things that frustrates me are the limits that others impose on themselves and those closest to them. I'm always amazed at the power that is freely given to the community of "they". Who says you or I can't? Usually it's they, that's who. I have done so many things that the "theymen" corner said I couldn't. Have always been a voracious reader, inquisitive and filled with wonder. Not a bad armchair jeopardy player either! Never known for taking myself too seriously. Daily Lucy visitations influenced by the Queen of Comedy spices up my otherwise normal days. These daily reminders keep me humble. I once tried to distance myself from them, now I embrace them with laughter. My personal love of Lucy experientially occurred at the age of 19 at my first apartment. It was a hot summer day. Armed with my new gladiator sandals, arms filled with my laundry basket I proceeded to do my laundry. While running down the stairs after loading my first load I slipped down the center plastic runner fanny first! After making sure that noone saw me, sitting on the bottom step I laughed (no howled) at the top of my lungs. I can't recall a time that I have laughed that hard. Og Mandino in one of his scrolls said, "I will laugh at myself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously." Don't misinterpret, I'm serious when I need to be and let loose and have FUN as much and often as possible.

Languages

English

Areas of Expertise

Creating mutually beneficial relationships, Gifting others with the right word at the right time, Visual Illustrator, Wordster, ChattyJacqui, Loyal, Friendly, Naturally funny, Inverted thinker, Believing in others more than they believe in themselves

An idea worth spreading

Having had the honor of sharing at TEDxTemecula on Wine Personalities and how best to embrace our differences: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA1p0by0EwM Researching this subject and having it seep into various aspects of my life has changed me. Learning to let others truly be themselves as we all evolve, change and grow. Sounds simple at times sounds easy. In retrospect it takes effort. Like watching a toddler wobble as they learn to walk. There are some things that must be experienced to get to the other side. I have something brewing in my internal think tank. It's not a totally new thought for me. However, it is expanding and growing legs. Who knows I may end up sharing it at another TEDx! We'll see. Stay tuned.

I'm passionate about

On the shallow end shoes. Reading. Exploring various parts of my personality. Learning. Sharing. Cheering others on. Cooking. Having a good time alone, and with friends and family. Making new friends.

Talk to me about

New, innovative ways to embrace and celebrate our differences resulting in the revelation that we really aren't that much different after all. More, better and deeper ways to connect. I'd LOVE that!

People don't know I'm good at

People closest to me know that I'm a good cook. My Christmas dinner is from different cultures. Very authentic except for desserts. I make Snicker's pie or something similar noone seems to mind.

My TED story

Little known fact is that after having learned of TEDx while clicking randomly on websites I had an interest of bringing TEDx to Temecula. Getting distracted by the day to day activities it went to the backburner of my mind. When it bubbled up again I was thrilled to learn that a license had been issued. So, when I applied to speak, my TEDx talk was roughly 70% complete. I had my intro and outro in the can. Chronicling my journey as not to spill a drop was my goal. You can catch it here: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/mytedxtemeculajourney. This experience has caused me to cheer on other TEDxters. I've participated in tweetchats, g+, and live streams. The community is incredible. So giving. Best way I can describe it is after participating (via live stream and twitter) with TEDxrainier's event I said in my head, "welcome home". I feel like my TED story is just beginning and will continue to be experienced, embraced, lived and written.

Comments & conversations

175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted about 1 year ago
Love is overrated.
Love is such an elusive term. Not playing with semantics when you throw in the term, "in love" for example. Whew! Don't get me started. My former sister-in-law gave me the best perspective when I was newly married. Of course I didn't know it at the time. She shared that when the relationship is good you can't imagine it being any better, and when the relationship is bad you can't imagine it any worse. Truer words have rarely been spoken to me. I've found for myself that trouble arises in my relationships when I abandon self love. When I tolerate less than what I know I deserve (whether romantic, friend, or family). Going along to get along to the extent that it becomes self betrayal. As I honor myself I bring honor to the relationship. I wouldn't cheat because that would bring dishonor to myself. Ultimately it has nothing to do with the other person. It's about me relating to the highest version of myself. When I was younger I thought that love was enough. Now, I know that it's not. In order for love to thrive I must practice self love and self care. This makes me more attractive to myself and organically to someone else. I'm not trying to have a relationship where we are two halves trying to make each other whole. I prefer two whole people that both freely give and share with each other for as long as they choose to do so. Blessings:~)
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Has your introversion/ extroversion shaped your choice of career?
This to me both Lee-Anna and Anne is the TED community at it's best. I was going to share earlier and felt I would have been off topic. Came back and witnessed what makes this community great. Not sure where you are geographically Lee-Anna I can say that the two of you have an instant connection in large part to the commonalities that I'm learning all TED-sters, TEDxers, etc. embody. Lee-Anna thank you for being so honest and open you organically give each of us permission to follow your example. Anne if you are reading this thank you for posing such a thought provoking question. Your phraseology is disarming thus inviting meaningful dialogue. Ladies, both of you moved me and I thank you for it! Jacqui:~)
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Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
Have you realized your potential?
What a nice thing to share Zac thank you. I agree with you there are so many things pulling and yelling for our attention carving out My Daily Practice is tough some days. Good luck to you too Zac! Jacqui:~)
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
Have you realized your potential?
Absolutely Frankey! It's why I journal, have a wisdom bookshelf, a Wall of Accomplishments as well as a core group of friends to remind me like touchstones of times when I think I can't get through "this" reminds me that I can because I got through "that". Thanks for your reply. Jacqui:~)
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
Have you realized your potential?
In it's own definition potential is considered as what's possible as opposed to what is actual. Embracing that definition I would say yes! As my belief of what's possible increases and expands my ability to actualize strengthens. Having obliterated deadlines many times in my life, done what others said couldn't be done, defied belief (or lack thereof) through repeated actions makes me say yes. Years ago a friend of mine that is a very well known singer and I were out shopping with several friends. As the two of us broke away from the pack she shared with me that one of the things she liked most about our friendship was that I was not envious of her popularity or fan base. Immediately I shared with her of course not because my clients treat me the way her fans treat her! This one exchange enabled me at an early age to determine what success and achievement really are. Success doesn't mean you're a household name. Look at how many people are famous for doing nothing. Success or reaching my potential for the sake of this forum is being the highest and best version of myself at that moment, where I am with what I'm doing. Knowing that more will be added to me as I progress along. My framework may be different than others. That's because it's mine. You see, ever since childhood I was affirmed that I had something worthy of listening to. I would grow up and refer to it as being a voice and not an echo. Responsibility (responding to the ability within) comes with awareness. So, as I continue to evolve and grow my new definition of my potential grows as well. Kinda like the saying, " what brought me here, won't take me there". I look at challenges, obstacles, obstructions, dilemmas all as guideposts and tools to get me to my new "there". They are all life lessons that refine me which is why I embrace them readily!:~)
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
Have you tried to push the limits of your mind?
Dolunay, I've been thinking more about being fully present and allowing us to be fully present (whatever that means to them). Years ago an employee of an organization I belonged to shared his observation of me. In essence, my lows are many people's highs. This thought prompted me to think that indeed we are only as limited as we believe we are. In that vein there are varying degrees than. Would you agree with that? Dolunay that you would pose such a thought provoking question in such a liberating way that (responses bearing witness) many people interpret it in such an empowering way is confirmation of being unlimited. All of these minds have come together and taken the energy to confirm the validity of your question. To quote a well embraced colloquialism, "the tribe has spoken".
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
How to get involved in the TED community?
You are welcome my new friend! That's wonderful Maaher! You're figuring out how to instead of focusing on what's not! YaaaY YOU. Explains a lot that you have extensive event organizing skills. That is the filter with which you gauge others through. Having started, run and organized a meetup group for about two years my filter was similar. Although, I have no where near the expertise you have. Instead, I set my expectations aside and managed them as much as I could. Focusing on the team and my idea worth sharing and our ideas worth sharing helped me tremendously. Besides, it is soooooo not about US! Glad that I could help you my new friend:~) Remember, when YOU win, I win!
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
How to get involved in the TED community?
Maaher, You are welcome my friend! I really encourage you to try again until you are received. Keep in mind, it's not about you! It's about the viability of your ideas worth sharing being shared...right? TEDx events are put on by volunteers that for the most part have jobs, families, businesses, etc.. Most of which have never planned an event of this magnitude or importance. What they lack in event planning experience they more than compensate in their passion and desire to do their job well. There were many things I thought could have been done differently in my TEDx experience. Here was my solution: I took ownership of the opportunity. I did not wait for someone to say it's okay to do this, that or the other thing. I checked within and asked myself is this mutually beneficial for the team? If the answer was yes I proceeded. I didn't ask for permission, i didn't and don't seek credit. I felt and still do that the spirit of TEDx is community. When one wins, we ALL win. If I know something or can do something or have an idea withholding it would be a shame. I reached out to contacts I have in the community and asked for them to consider sponsoring (I wasn't on that committee), I posted on social media platforms (again I wasn't on that committee), I placed the event on several event posting sites (I was not on that committee). I share this with you to present a birdseye view of what is most important. Sharing your ideas worth sharing! I feel your passion in your words and I completely believe that your gift (idea worth sharing) will make room for you. Persist until you succeed would be my advice to you(if you're interested). Do that and in a short while send me a message with your TEDx link and I'll be your biggest cheerleader!
175499
Jacqui Dobens
Posted over 1 year ago
How to get involved in the TED community?
Hi Nicole, The advice Fritzie gave you is spot on! Search out the upcoming TEDx events apply to be a part of the team, sponsor, attend or speak. That you raised your hand means you have something of value to offer. Don't deprive the TEDx community of your talents Nicole!!! Go for it!!!