TED Community » Lia Kohelet

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• A comment on Conversation: Is it really necessary to become attached to people? Do not we still finish to be disappointed?

  Jul 12 2012: Hey Sarah,
  
  One who truly wants to evolve himself in life would have to get attached with others. You are correct, it is a risk, and we will certainly get hurt at some point. But just like any other domain in life, the more you practice, the better you get. Look at it that way; a baby who wouldn't try to crawl, walk or eat by himself, etc, wouldn't be developed physically. This is exactly the same; open yourself to people, embrace the experience, the feelings that come up, embrace those that you consider as negative too, it's OK, you will end up much stronger, I'm sure!
  
  Lia

• A comment on Conversation: Retirement: A Myth or Reality?

  Jul 12 2012: Retirement would be found as a myth to those who are not wise enough to work hard when they are young, in order to prepare themselves to retirement. Most of us think about retirement and cannot actually picture ourselves as old and not as strong anymore. we convince ourselves that "everything will be alright". However, the truth is that one who truly wants to retire with dignity and happiness would have to put an effort when is still young.
  
  We live in a generation that self-gratification is a first priority. We spend lots of money to fulfill an inner void and impress our friends. We certainly do not put enough thought in order to organize our financial-state wisely. The key for me (and for many others) is saving money as much as I can NOW, when I'm still young (yes, it means that I do not shop once a week, not even once a month!), and investing it, thus, creating a situation wherein my money creates more money for me!
  There are lots of books which engaged in this topic, I highly recommend. Those who are interested, wouldn't only do the right thing, rather, would open themselves to a very interesting and thought-provoking realm.
  
  Lia

• A reply on Conversation: Is there such a thing as a bad person?

  Jul 12 2012: My therapist does not have the option to dissuade me from discussing about different topics, after all, that's what she is getting paid for:)
  
  You keep raising profound points (I liked your point about Wonder versus Worry) which I found exceedingly interesting.
  
  All the best to you too.

• A reply on Conversation: Is there such a thing as a bad person?

  Jul 12 2012: Beautiful! Simple but correct!

• A reply on Conversation: Is there such a thing as a bad person?

  Jul 11 2012: Thanks for your comment, Mark, makes much more sense now.
  
  You are right, many people cannot distinguish opinions from emotions. I do not blame them, this is an attribute which one has to practice on.
  
  The way I know myself, I wonder too much (my therapist would attest:)). Anyway, as much as others' opinions might seem outdated and illogical to us, I believe that it is always important to question our opinions as well.
  
  Lia

• A reply on Conversation: Is there such a thing as a bad person?

  Jul 11 2012: Are you implying that I'm not open enough to others' opinions? I'm sorry if that's the impression that you got. :)
  Open-mind is necessary in such conversations, I agree.
  
  Lia

• A reply on Conversation: Is there such a thing as a bad person?

  Jul 10 2012: MR,
  
  First I have to clarify; when I'm saying that people are sick, I'm saying that in the bottom line we all are sick to some extent. We are going through crisis-es, getting hurt, abandoned, etc. These things leave a very profound impression on us. So "sick" doesn't have to be defined as a certain illness, maybe as "emotional wounds".
  
  I think that the line is within us; I'll explain: when we encounter people that hurt (not even terribly) others we most likely judge them right away. But what about remembering OUR inner line, understanding that those people are "sick" and instead trying to help them?
  
  Have you heard of the phrase: "There is no bad kid, rather, a kid who feels bad"? I utterly agree with that. In an ideal world, we were all doing our best in order to be better to ourselves and others. The problem is that throughout life (especially childhood) people are getting wounded emotionally, which makes that really hard to happen.
  
  Next time that someone is being mean to you, think about it that way. You might find it helpful. I hope you would.
  
  Lia

• A reply on Conversation: Is there such a thing as a bad person?

  Jul 10 2012: I'm surprised, David, you definitely expose a point that I have not thought of before. If I understands you correctly, being good is not the norm, therefore it's an accomplishment. I agree to some extent; I do not have a proof that human beings are good, I simply believe in that. I have questioned it in the past, but no more. I truly believe in that. But! (and this is the point that I agree about), we always have the ability to make ourselves better by acting good.
  
  I'm not arguing about your point that human beings are self-interested and violent, since clearly there is a truth in that. I guess that I just put the emphasis in other places.
  
  Thanks for an insightful comment,
  Lia

• A reply on Conversation: Is it okay to judge people according to their physical Appearance ?

  Jul 8 2012: You are very welcome, Ghassan.
  
  I have to share; this topic makes me wonder often too. Few years ago I wrote down "Values which I want to implement in my life" and one of them is not judging people. This is an endless work. The interesting thing is that the more I work on myself not to judge people, the more I realize how judgmental I am. I'm "catching" myself judging people, for good or for bad, even in the most marginal situations of every day life.
  As long as it means that I always have something meaningful to work on, I am welcoming it.
  
  Lia

• A reply on Conversation: Working children: should we prohibit, permit or promote it.

  Jul 7 2012: Thank you, Said. I'm happy I could help.