TED Community » Linda Hamilton

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I'm passionate about

www.thanknest.com - because giving thanks is one of the most important ways of letting someone know how much you appreciate them. It allows them to feel truly valued, and makes you feel good too.

An idea worth spreading

Professor Sherry Turkle discussed the ways in which technology is making us feel more and more disconnected. People go on social networking sites to seek validation for what they believe, say, or do. But what we really want is to feel truly valued as a person. What if social networking allowed us to feel truly valued again?

The good news... it can. I developed www.thanknest.com to offer people a place where they could truly appreciate others. What I have found is that when people are appreciated with a sincere and specific thanks, they feel truly valued as a person and want to spend more real-life time with the person who is thanking them. They say "let's get together", "let's catch up", and "let's get coffee". When people spread their thanks on www.thanknest.com, this opens avenues for them to have more purposeful, meaningful, and trustful relationships with others because it allows them to feel truly valued again.

Comments

• TEDCred score: +1.30 TEDCred reflects your contribution to the TED community.

• A reply on Conversation: What are you doing & what were the turning points in your life that led you there?

  Sep 19 2012: And you are doing so much more than just trying. Thank you for being such a strong role model for your children :)

• A reply on Conversation: What are you doing & what were the turning points in your life that led you there?

  Sep 17 2012: Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You sound truly courageous... that would have been incredibly difficult to leave your abusive husband. You have done an amazing thing & I admire you for taking the step to do so, for you and for your kids. Don't ever doubt yourself, even for a second - you are such a strong woman & your kids will definitely see that too. I wish you and your family a future of happiness, health, & freedom.
• +1

  A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 12 2012: Thank you for sharing Feyisayo. Yes, human contact is so iimportant... this is, as you say, because social networks are prone to pretending or presenting your ideal self! We have the time online to read something, think about what to say, & then write it in some cases better (& more succinctly) than we would probably say it.
  
  Meeting in real life determines whether a relationship can go to the next level... are they in real life who they claim to be online? If yes, then a wonderful relationship can follow.
  
  Good relationships can be built & maintained online - but great relationships are fostered through real life interaction.

• A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 12 2012: Thank you for sharing Lars, I definitely see your point.
  
  For the majority of online networks, they are not real networks, they are numbers... but it's for those others that we stay connected. Those people who lift you up, who you lift up, who value you, & you value them make you want to further your online & offline relationship with them - to show them your flaws & know that you will not be judged.
  
  Yes I agree that you may discover upon meeting an online friend that you do not get along well after all !!And then on the flip side, many true & wholesome relationships have been formed through meeting initially online. I have many friends who have for example, married, or are together with someone they met online (& they are still together after many many years - longer than others who met in real life). They connected online over common ground, and found that their real life selves were as common as their online selves (& both were sincere real people).
  
  And yes, I have to agree - most contacts are just like chatting with a stranger on a bus!! It is a fleeting discussion in time... or sometimes even being ignored!
  
  There are definitely negative sides to technology (& places that foster those negatives)... & then there are the positive sides as well (with some places helping to foster those positives).
  
  :)
• +1

  A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 12 2012: Cool name! I just checked it out... it is a great concept. I have joined - what I would like to see is that I can connect to people internationally as well as to people in my city. Someone in another country would be able to create a video for my purposes if it is a broad concept (e.g., saying thanks!)...particularly at the beginning when you may have 100 members who are unable to connect with each other because they are all from different cities.
  
  I look forward to watching your site grow & I think charities/schools/colleges would love this idea too... once you have some videos added it will start to spread well.
  
  I wish you mcuh success
  
  Btw - let me know what you think of my site!

• A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 12 2012: Thank you for your input Steven. I agree, nothing replaces human interaction... to see their smile, to hear their laugh, to see their facial expressions when you engage, to hear them talk, & to see their eyes - when you meet someone you connect with online, you want to spend your real life time (your precious time) with them. When you find people who you can do this with, you make a real connection & add value into your life.
  
  Thank you for sharing... can I ask, will this be the first time you meet someone in real life who you have met online?

• A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 12 2012: Me too... and I also interact with them online as a way of saying in that moment - I'm thinking of you :)

• A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 11 2012: I think you make an important point - "friends should not be devalued because of a tool" :)

• A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 11 2012: You bring up some interesting points Salim, thank you for sharing- "do we need to be connected with our next door neighbour" - probably not, but can be nice to connect with them face-to-face & online too!
  
  Do you connect with your neightbours or family online?

• A reply on Conversation: Is it possible for us to use social networking, that which makes us feel so disconnected, to reconnect again?

  Sep 11 2012: Thank you for sharing James - yes, you are right... it is not possible to spend time with 1000+ friends... Dunbar's number suggests between 100 & 230 is about the limit - http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2010/mar/14/my-bright-idea-robin-dunbar
  
  Lol, yes ironic isn't it - & I agree with you - social networking is a tool which can be used to connect people - many of whom would never have had the chance to connect if it were not for this tool (e.g., specialist groups from around the world connecting via a common interest). What do you do to use this tool in the 'correct' sense?