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• +2

  A comment on Talk: Matt Killingsworth: Want to be happier? Stay in the moment

  Nov 6 2012: I disagree with this talk.
  The issue is with the definition with 'mind-wandering', it is trying to contain the vast capabilities of our mind.
  
  Some might make 'Zero-MindWandering' their new Pursuit in their Pursuit to Happiness. This is in fact a Dangerous Ideal.
  
  It'll have ill effects for those who are easily influenced and take this as a whole truth.
  
  Conversely, I would suggest the promotion of mind wondering and exercise almost no control over it.
  
  Happiness is a state of awareness. If you are worried about something, mind-wander further, think beyond. Think about what if it happens 'this' way, what would it be like? What would you do? And if it happens 'that' way, what would you do? This mind-wandering or mind play keeps me prepared and calm , ultimately smiling and happy.
  
  When I'm drivng, eyes will be on the road of course, but you can't expect one's mind not to wander. The question is, what to wander/wonder about? Can you absolutely control every wonder? No. So, just leave it be.
  
  If sex is terrifc, would your mind wander? Would focusing on having sex make it better, or make it end faster so that you're simply happier that it ended?

• A comment on Conversation: Optimism and Pessimism: The Impact of Outlook on Outcome

  May 18 2012: I consider myself both an optimist and a pessimist.
  The "drawbacks" are non-existent, its "benefits" of each are synergised and amplified if you are both at the same time.
  
  This is much evident in Edward de Bono's Six Hats, he states that whatever decision we make, it is ultimately an emotional one. And in order to sooth and direct the emotions successfully and adequately, one must be aware of the facts, the dangers (pessimism) & the possibilities (optimism).
  
  My general outlook would be "Happy Go Lucky", "nonchalance" and "readiness/preparedness".
  I'd show nonchalance towards one's anger, sadness, disappointment or the likes.
  I'd go about doing whatever I can so that when (s)he comes round,
  I'd be there to ask what needs to be done or any help needed to move forward, together.
  
  I connect with people this way, one person at a time, it keeps me happy all the time.
  Waking up every morning, staring into the sky smiling, and to everyone I meet.
  Sometimes, when I think that this is too good to be true, I label myself pessimistic.
  
  So, am I an optimist or a pessimist? I'm a pessimistic optimist.

• A reply on Conversation: Optimism and Pessimism: The Impact of Outlook on Outcome

  May 18 2012: I believe that we could be both rational and irrational at the same time.
  It's not an easy juggle however, once one gets the hang of it, it's pretty easy.
  
  As mentioned above, it's about fine-tuning these factors, internal, external or in-between.
  
  Porcupines hug for warmth, but they can't hug to closely, they would hurt themselves, or if they don't hug enough, they are unable to create enough warmth.
  
  Another example would be judging. Judge the behavior, not the person.
  Judge their techniques, executions, and not for how they are feeling at that moment.
  
  Back to expectations, one must know what part truly affects the outcome, like not attributing the day's non-success to waking up on the wrong side of the bed. If that's so, one must learn to be happy the moment they get out of bed.
  
  Whether one is Proactive & Reactive can almost be attributed by internal & external factors respectively.
  
  Being proactive or reactive could still lead to failures, however there's one fundamental difference.
  A reactive behavior would most probably lead to making the very same mistakes/failures over and over again. Whereas, a proactive behavior would achieve new mistakes/failures different from the previous, bringing him/her closer and closer to a success, or a string of successes.

• A comment on Conversation: Optimism and Pessimism: The Impact of Outlook on Outcome

  May 16 2012: Do we have to blame something to be an optimist or pessimist?
  How about taking whatever happens as it is and move forward?
  
  Like how Tali Sharot described, it's about fine-tuning the estimation of expectations to a realistic level.
• +2

  A comment on Talk: Tali Sharot: The optimism bias

  May 16 2012: Optimism, Pessimism, Estimation (over/under) are all in due part of our expectations and its results that might lead to disappointment, the root of "Negative" emotions.
  
  Just like how "to desire no desire" is a desire itself, we are humans, we desire, we make comparisons, make judgements and have expectations.
  
  I agree that the assumption "The secret to happiness is low expectations", though some would insist, "The secret to happiness is no expectations" is rather flawed. Yes, we need to expect something, however, having low/no expectations doesn't really work well.
  
  Hence, I offer my very own quote:
  
  "Humans expect, disappointment reappears.
  Expect humans, disappointment disappears."
  
  Whether we have high expectations, or low expectations, especially of another, leads to some degree of disappointment.
  
  However, if we expect ourselves or anyone else to be Humans, to have flaws, to make mistakes, to be angry, to have expectations, to be disappointed, to react, to have sudden rage that you forgot what triggered you in the first place, etc, to be every bit human, and when we anticipate another to be human, disappointment naturally disappears.
  
  Well, at least for the past five years I've been feeling that way since I made this revelation.
  
  The other way of looking at this, is to anticipate the worst case scenerio, for example this post, that people might slam me. And slowly work my way up and hope that people do benefit from this.