Nov 3 2012: Fascinating talk. It's certainly often true that other women are often very harsh on men showing their emotional vulnerabilities or weakness. It is percieved as young, immature and weak to put your heart and soul on the line if your a man....I believe that the presenter actually gives a good model for displaying a level of vulnerability in a way that is welcomed by listeners and not considered awkward; by using HUMOUR and by laughing at herself and her own vulnerabilities...men can learn from this as by revealing vulnerability in a humerous way your actually displaying strength, dominance and masculinity as it takes these qualities to accept your weaknesses.....Sometimes you might even just go for a more carefree, even reckless approach forgetting about shame, forgetting about your perceived masculinity and strength, and just choosing to be brave and to express yourself regardless of the consequences....
Nov 5 2011: I don't agree that men prefer the company of other men all the time. A lot of men like me like to have female energy around them. I do agree that men and boys are clueless about the subtleties of attraction and social interaction. The reason is that we are not taught by anyone what to do - Our teachers don't teach us, our dad's don't usually teach us and we don't have lots of magazines to read where other men talk about these issues. What is the point in having an education, a degree, whatever if you still don't know how to deal with women - it's absurd and in evolutionary terms we have taken our eye off the prize! I have made a conscious effort to study body languages, non-verbal communication and physical contact. i learnt from books, websites and from observing and asking people who I saw were good with women and social situations. I didn't know what I was doing before simply because nobody had ever educated me in these things- now I do - it feels empowering. Even though I'm chronically ill and often cannot even walk or stand up - I can still connect with a person and even build a relatoinship with a woman despite my illness. Men need help in this department - it's just a case of learning and practice.
Nov 5 2011: I don't understand how Gloria can say there is no such thing as good or bad parenting and then in the next paragraph outline a model for good parenting. Could you expalin what you mean by the second paragraph more clearly? I don't understand.
Obviously there are many bad parents and many truly appalling ones. The majority are just unprepared and uneducated about raising children. I believe that parents should take control with younger children and less so as they get older. The moments when the parent takes control with older children are usually more important though. I also believe that parents, where possible, should give guidance to their children - or if they cannot do this themselves - seek people who can help guide their children into the world. I believe mentoring is by far the most powerful way to educate and influence a person on an intellectual and social level. I have worked as a teacher and a private tutor so have had chance to see how this works in practice.
Nov 4 2011: Isn't that precisely his point. In developing companies levels of economic trust are low because the wealthy in these countries have become so through immoral manuevring, stealing and cheating. Why this happens is probably due to the legal and political infrastructure of the state. As you say - in your experience the wealthy have ill gotten gains so levels of economic trust are clealy low if this is a commonly held view. This leads to an economy that is unbalanced - in which most people are poor and a few have inordinate wealth. On the other hand a country in which legal and political infrastructure is developed and stable it is easier to trust people in economic transactions. This means that all forms of commercial exchange are more straightforward as they are founded on a mutual agreement that the laws of the land demand that one party does not rip the other off. Trade and services are easier in this environment so economic flourishing is likely.
I think the way he expressed this point about levels of economic trust being higher in more wealthy countries was not clear or in depth.. I don't think that he looks at the historical and political reasons for which a countries population falls to a low level of trust over money and commerce.
Nov 3 2011: I think it's an extremely limited and damaging attitude to take in life. There are so many other ways we have identity as human beings - our job or passion is just one part of that identity. Our relationships with others in the community and our family, our way with people, our charisma, our compassion, our thoughts, our physical bodies, our sexuality, our bearing, our language, our friendships, our hobbies and so on.
Naturally a person's job or passion is a facet of that identity but focusing on this to the exclusion of all other areas is a fast ticket to an unbalanced and sometimes depressing life.
Nov 3 2011: I agree that by far the best teachers are coaches. I was also a teacher and thought that being a coach was by far the most important part. I always remember my University days - I remember speaking to my tutors and asking myself what can these people teach me? I believe that my high-school teachers, football coaches and friends taught me more than I ever learnt at University. It still surprises me to this day that University professors are so revered - I can honestly say that I didn't find one who inspired me in any way, academic or otherwise.
Nov 3 2011: I'm always looking at media, artistic and literary representations of what it means to be a person in this world; what it is to live and die, what is valued and how people do or don't fit in with a community. Some of the deepest, most straightforward and gentle explanaitions of death in popular culture come from an unlikely source: Disney's the Lion King. Seriously, it is a major theme of a film that is seen by millions of young people. If you go back and watch the film it is one of the most beautiful and natural portrayels of life, death and regeneration that you could find. I know there is a great deal of intellectual snobbery about these things but I think any person young or old appreciates the way in which life and death are woven into the story in many different ways.
Nov 3 2011: It's interesting to hear this question raised from somebody living in another part of the world. Are you talking about functional shopping for things like food and ameneties or shopping more generally. The phrase ' what women want when they shop' brings to mind the question of what exactly are women (and men) buying when they shop. WIth many clothing and luxury items they are buying associations of style, an identity, a membership to a club, a certain lifestyle, certain aspirations, projections of what kind of person they want to be, their profession, social status, even their values. These are the things that people buy - often the product or the material etc are coincidental.
Oct 29 2011: I agree Steven that often times kids are incredibly intelligent and have great honesty and insticnts that adults have sometimes compromised - the wisdom of babes as they say. However I do think it's right that young people whatever their maturity should have to wait to do certain things such as vote etc. I believe it takes until at least aged 18 for the majority of young people to begin to form a view of the wider world.
With regards to older people - it's true that older people can sometimes be dismissed in many ways as they grew up and adapted to a world that bears little ressemblance to the modern world. However older people still have fantastic competence, experience and perspective and are of great value because of this.
'Though much is taken, much abides and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are
One equal temper of heroic hearts.
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.'
Oct 28 2011: Hey Leo - you really nail the point that I'm thinking about. You say that you still have a mental splinter about not attending a university even though you have become successful - there is no reason that this should be the case and yet it is with many people. Some people who attended University have a splinter that they didn't attend one of the internationally prestigous ones - it seems sad.
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A comment on Talk: Brené Brown: Listening to shame
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A comment on Conversation: To what extent should parents take control of their children?
Obviously there are many bad parents and many truly appalling ones. The majority are just unprepared and uneducated about raising children. I believe that parents should take control with younger children and less so as they get older. The moments when the parent takes control with older children are usually more important though. I also believe that parents, where possible, should give guidance to their children - or if they cannot do this themselves - seek people who can help guide their children into the world. I believe mentoring is by far the most powerful way to educate and influence a person on an intellectual and social level. I have worked as a teacher and a private tutor so have had chance to see how this works in practice.
A comment on Talk: Paul Zak: Trust, morality -- and oxytocin?
I think the way he expressed this point about levels of economic trust being higher in more wealthy countries was not clear or in depth.. I don't think that he looks at the historical and political reasons for which a countries population falls to a low level of trust over money and commerce.
A comment on Conversation: Of men and passion.
Naturally a person's job or passion is a facet of that identity but focusing on this to the exclusion of all other areas is a fast ticket to an unbalanced and sometimes depressing life.
A reply on Conversation: What is the goal of education?
A comment on Conversation: The discussion of human death in school curricula, particularly Science.
A comment on Conversation: What WOMEN Want When They Shop
A comment on Conversation: Age discrimination is no different than racism or sexism.
With regards to older people - it's true that older people can sometimes be dismissed in many ways as they grew up and adapted to a world that bears little ressemblance to the modern world. However older people still have fantastic competence, experience and perspective and are of great value because of this.
'Though much is taken, much abides and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are
One equal temper of heroic hearts.
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.'
A reply on Conversation: Oxford, Cambridge and Ivy League Universities are often revered above others. What do people make of this?