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Peter Emer

The Lil Project

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Is love something we are taught or something that comes naturally to us?

Somethings that we see as natural are things that classically conditioned in us. For example, our sense of whats wrong and whats right is something that has been classically conditioned into our brain. Now i was just wondering if the ability to love is something that we acquire through society or maybe it has been there since we where toddlers. If love was something natural why is it hard for us to love one another? If love was something we are taught, why is it limited? As in the idea of love is engraved in our brains but its not open and able to be illustrated towards everything or everybody.


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  • Mar 5 2012: Hello Peter,
    I cannot comment as an expert, but I know from my experience that love was not taught in my childhood. Love is learned and appreciated; it is better learned and experienced when given away to others. This I had to learn later in life.

    Children are naturally sharing, but fighting can be learned also. Antagonisms cause irritation and anger, but love is learned by observing patience and graciousness. A person can be trained in gracefulness, but graciousness is a result of a love saturated personality.

    I think love can be natural, but it can also be pushed downward inside a person who is mistreated. Psychological problems often result from lack of love. Given a fair chance, love can blossom in a person and when mutually shared in a relationship, happiness can be bountiful. Even when adverse situations arise, love can prevail for a person who chooses love.

    So much more could be said. Better to let other more experienced persons take this further.

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      Mar 22 2012: I agree with you kurt(: that was well stated....but from what I got is that you favor the idea that love is more of a learned thing. I agree that it can definitely be pushed dow psychological events or disorders.thanks for your input, It was very insightful. Greatly appreciated
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      Mar 22 2012: Hi Mark,

      I have to agree with your comment.

      And I will add, that I feel that sometimes when children grow up without love, but see that it is possible to give and receive love, they can, and often do, show love in extraordinary ways when they grow up.

      Some, because they lacked love in childhood, make it their aim to give love abundantly to others, and instill it in their children as well.

      I mean, you do not need to be loved to turn out to be a loving person.....as observers in life, we can "choose" to be loving, when we see the benefit of giving and receiving love.

      I remember how much the song "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love, it's the only thing, that there's just too little of"...did for me when I was just a little girl.

      I remember listening to it and thinking, she's right. The world needs love. Why do people hate each other so much, and why don't they live up to what they preach? And why are people racist?

      I don't know if people are born loving or not. But I do know that when a baby is born, if it is not held and cuddled there are severe consequences...I have seen the studies. I have also seen the consequences of verbally abused children.

      In the end I think it is a little bit of both nature and nurture. (Plus self discovery and concerted effort as Obey said)

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