TED Conversations

Sunny Qureshi

CEO, IQ Training & Consultancy

This conversation is closed.

Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)

I was wondering why dont we get unconditional love from people not related. Siblings or parents are in fact spiritually connected while friends and acquaintances will love you for ECONOMICAL or Conditional reasons even in the most advanced nations, why is that?? Or Is it sometimes the opposite?


Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • Mar 9 2012: One thing to consider is the difference between divorce rates and marital satisfaction rates (as measured by subjective reports) between couples whose significant other was chosen for them and between couple who chose their significant other independently. If the parents choose who marries who, couples tend to report less initial satisfaction with their partner at first, relative to couples who chose for themselves, and greater satisfaction after time went on, as well as having less of a chance to divorce their partner.

    If, then, we define unconditional love as, 'loving someone regardless some quality or action,' it makes sense that people whose parents chose their partner, and who didn't chose for themselves, would experience greater marital satisfaction because they simply didn't participate in the debating of whether or not they loved that person. It is truly unconditional to not wonder whether or not we love someone.

    Similarly, there have been studies done to show that if people were to choose between two paintings over some time, and then return one and keep another, then, compared to people who had to choose in the beginning and did not experience this period of internal debate, of choosing, the people who did experience the questioning of what to do were less satisfied with their choices over time than people who chose from the beginning and were 'stuck' with their painting, as it were, similar to how people who have their spouses chosen for them are 'stuck' with their partners in a way unlike people who go through a similar period of deciding who to marry and for what reasons.

    In order to answer this question perhaps we should ask if it is the period of questioning, of debating whether or not to love someone, that makes it easier to love siblings unconditionally and easier to love other people conditionally.

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.