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Sunny Qureshi

CEO, IQ Training & Consultancy

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Can we get "Unconditional Love" from people not related? (other than siblings, parents or wife)

I was wondering why dont we get unconditional love from people not related. Siblings or parents are in fact spiritually connected while friends and acquaintances will love you for ECONOMICAL or Conditional reasons even in the most advanced nations, why is that?? Or Is it sometimes the opposite?


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    Mar 4 2012: I was thinking that the only people who could love you unconditionally are those that are NOT related to you. Yes we have a spiritual connection with our relatives but it is not unconditional. Even with parents, they will love you IF you clean your room, or IF you go to college. Children will love you IF you get them the toy/item they want or IF you let them take the car. Or you can see the grandkids IF... Even boyfriend/girlfriend or married couples, I will love you IF you don't cheat, IF you get a job, IF you come home every night...

    True unconditional love is very very rare. You will know it if you see it. We are lucky if we can find it in one relationship in our lives. Perhaps the closest is our very best friend. But they usually come with IF too.
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      Mar 4 2012: I disagree. Children, parents, grandkids, wife will be there when you need them the most for example in an accident, or consolation which is ofcourse UNCONDITIONALLY etc while the closest best friend would help you only for a purpose / conditionally so that we may be of their help in future CONDITIONALLY
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      Mar 4 2012: Linda and Franciz,
      I agree that putting an IF in front of a task we are "doing" causes us to function based on conditions.

      To me, unconditional love is much deeper than "doing", and is a way of "being". We may have preferences... cleaning the room, attending college, giving/recieving the coveted toy, there when we need them, etc.

      To be unconditional, love is not dependent on "doing" because what we "do" for someone is often conditional...you're right about that! The biggest condition we put on our "doing", is expecting something in return...love. When we can let go of our expectations, than the "doing" connects with the "being", and we can love unconditionally. To me, unconditional love is a feeling that allows me to give and recieve without conditions...without expectations of giving or recieving anything in return.

      I don't precieve unconditional love to be rare Linda. I am gratefully surrounded with friends/relatives who give and recieve unconditionally, and I think/feel part of the reason for that is that I "do" and "live" the same way:>) When we truly love unconditionally, without expectations, we free ourselves and others around us from the bonds and boundaries of conditions. We can still have preferences, and make those preferences known, and we let go of our expectations.

      Cleaning the room for example:
      When my kids were teenagers, after trying to get them to keep their rooms clean, I made a deal with them. Their room, was their room, and I would not intrude with how it was kept. I asked them to please keep the door closed so I wouldn't have to see it, but the room was theirs to do with as they pleased. I asked them to keep their "stuff" organized in the rest of the house that we all shared in respect for those who lived there as well. I let go of my expectation that the rooms needed to be clean, and we did great with that arrangement. They knew I loved them regardles of the conditition of the room AND I had a preference which I was clear with.

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