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Ayesha Sayed

Student, UAEU

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Fear of success?

I recently read a quote that says: 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure'
I've been experimenting with ideas, fear,risks and allowing myself to work out my ideas and I've had amazing success so far, but there's this nagging fear of these astonishing results. It's as if I'm afraid of succeeding! Has anyone ever felt this? Why are we so afraid of things working out FOR us? And how can we remedy this?

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    Feb 16 2012: Hello again Ayesha,
    You offer another GREAT topic:>)

    The entire quote, which I LOVE, is:
    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
    (Marianne Williamson....quoted by Nelson Mandela in his inauguration speech).

    We have had centuries of indoctrination which tells us that suffering is noble...the more we suffer, the better place we will have in heaven! We've been told that to pay attention to our own happiness/contentment is selfish. We've been taught that to give to others is THE way to.........something!

    What we have not been taught much about is that we are all talented, skilled, intelligent, insightful, successful human beings, and each and every one of us is on a different path...a different life journey. We've been taught, many times not to pay attention to our "self".

    Stress, and not having "enough" seems to be a popular mantra with many people, and I believe sometimes, people feel more "successful", or "productive" when they are stressed, over worked, anxious, suffering, and NOT enjoying life?
    What do you think/feel Ayesha?
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      Feb 17 2012: Interesting perspective! And we've all got to stop and ask ourselves which parts of our personality are taught to us by the failings in our societal perspective, or more-so part of our instinctive nature. Are our fears the by-product of a negative, consequence-driven society? Or are they they a hard-wired reaction without an experiential source?

      I think we've got to keep from assuming either source. We've got to consider that either are possible, way the odds and shift the expected probability as new data from sociological, neurological and genetic studies are received.
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        Feb 17 2012: I agree Spencer...know thyself:>)
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        Feb 20 2012: I believe fear to be a natural feeling/emotion/reaction and I enjoy pondering where the fear stems from, because it provides information for me. I believe it comes from many sources including societal programming, and instinct. I don't believe fear is "hard wired" because if it was, we may not be able to change our perception of fear...do you think?

        I agree that it is not benificial to "assume" either source. If we know ourselves, we know what the source is, and as we know ourselves better and better on a deeper level, we can, as you say..."way the odds and shift the expected probability". I certainly consider studies and all information, and in the end, it is knowing myself, that causes a change in perspective and use for the fear. Yes....fear is useful when/if we understand it and know how to use it beneficially in our life journey:>)
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      Feb 17 2012: Hi Colleen!
      I have read the entire quote and the opening line fascinated me. I know what you mean, I've been brought up to believe that not having enough and suffering will get us into heaven, that being rich/successful has many more negatives than positives. I think that is why now that I am beginning to believe in myself and growing into myself, there are unanswered questions bubbling up and many many doubts. Doubts about whether I am deserving, about whether this really is going to happen and MANY more!
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        Feb 18 2012: Hi Ayesha,
        Well, they TRIED to teach me that as well, but I never really accepted it, even as a small child:>)

        Questions are GOOD Ayesha, in my perception, so you don't need to be afraid of questions. I feel that when/if I ever stop asking questions, I will have stopped really living the life adventure. I'm sure I will be asking questions as I am taking my last breath on this earth school. There is always another level of discovery, so keep asking the questions!!!
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          Feb 18 2012: "Earth school" - Ms. Steen, that is the perfect and most succinct despcription. Thank you!

          That is a wonderful quote and a great topic. Ii have always found it sad that so many of us are raised to believe that suffering and forced humility will pave the way to Heaven. This is not true. Humility is essential to reminding us that we are to glorify God and not ourselves, but we have for centuries gone to the extreme and taught that we are worthless (and there have been many discussions in TED on the historical reasons for that!)

          And yes, the negatives associated with wealth and success do not arise from those states, but rather from the mismanagement of those blessings. Riches and fame are not in themselves inherently bad; however, more often than not, those who have them use them to further their own ends, without any thought for others.

          But that stems from character, and Ayesha, permit me to say that you show great character in posing this question and in your subsequent posts. You are destined to do great things, as we all are. It appears a good fortune cookie for you at this time would say something like "Always question. Never doubt."

          God bless.
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          Feb 19 2012: Hi Colleen!
          It's wonderful talking to you here! I can't help wishing I could get to know you better!
          I do question a LOT of things but many of those questions are negative. also, those questions are sometimes answered immediately by the 'negative' voice inside me! So how do I turn those around? And I sometimes wonder whether there are any real answers?
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        Feb 19 2012: Thanks Verble:>)
        For me, the life adventure is about learning, so in my perception, I'm in the earth school:>)
        How we use the information we get throughout our lives always contributes to whether or not we feel successful:>)
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        Feb 20 2012: Dear Ayesha,
        It's wonderful talking to you as well:>) I LOVE conversations that openly and honestly explore, without confrontation...it's just SO much more fun than the alternative:>)

        Regarding your statement..."I do question a LOT of things but many of those questions are negative"
        How can a question be negative? I don't understand that.

        I DO however, understand how questions are sometimes answered immediately by the "negative voice inside". That, to me is generally programming from parents, religions, society etc....don't you think?

        My intuition, instinct, logical mind, does not usually answer questions immediately, but rather ponders the question without judgement. That is one way I learn where the information is coming from. If something internally or externally would like to automatically shut off the question or consideration of the question, I ask myself...where did that come from, and do I want external programming (old or new) to influence my choices and decisions? No, I do not. I certainly consider the information, ponder and sift through it, but I do not accept the information without consideration of what it genuinely means to me.
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        Feb 20 2012: OOPS...I forgot to address another of your questions Ayesha:>)

        You ask..."And I sometimes wonder whether there are any real answers?"

        I believe there are often many answers, and whatever answer we believe in at any given time, is "real" for us as individuals. I find answers by asking the question without judgement and considering all information. With new information, my answers sometimes change.

        The big thing for me, which is a little different from many people, is that I do not mind "not knowing". When we think we "know" something, we limit ourselves, and in the state of "not knowing", we are open to many possibilities, which to me seems very freeing:>) I am comfortable with "not knowing", and I LOVE it:>) Whatever we "know", or think we "know" is simply information, and I'm always open to new information:>)

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