- Benny boy
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The idea is, firstly that males have a sexuality, sexual energy and can experience sexual pleasure, the expansion of this idea is, continuous repression of sexuality, which feels like 'thats not okay, or, is inappropriate behavior or 'save it til your older;' can make young men feel insecure and shamed of something so natural.
continuous oppression of sexuality, usually believe it or not by older men, role models, big brothers, fathers, can feel like 'don't do that to women, you can't do that til your older like me, don't do it unless you plan on having a relationship and getting married, its abusive to women' can make young men feel like their sexuality may cause harm if they express it, when its doing more harm oppressing it, this can lead to sexual violence, sometimes rape in extreme cases, sexual domination, made to being feel like your 'gay' for not expressing it but 'wrong' if you do, much confusion and displeasurable experiences.
the fine line here is assertiveness and respect, sexual assertiveness, feeling attracted to a girl sexually and being able to act on those feelings in a positive and assertive manner can lead to sexual confidence, more pleasure, and a positive respect for male sexuality.
hiding these feelings and having to drink to feel comfortable enough to express them isn't healthy, theres usually a low level of intimacy with men around other men these days unless they've been friends for a while, anyway thats what i see, yet ive been in a place before and in friendships where ive felt comforable having sex with women around my friends and they didn't disrespect me for it, nor did i boast or brag about it to them afterwards, it was simply acknowledged and seen as acceptable, nor did they intrude or try to violate my under the cover privacy, she was even included in the group friendship. great place to be; love those guys.
now your thoughts ted, did this help anyone? has anyone else had similar experiences?