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Carolyn Dyck-Maynard

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Why is it so hard for people to establish true intimacy with each other, when it is so very rewarding?

As a Clinical Social Worker and a student of life, I believe I have the answer to this question, however, I would like to hear other people's opinions and insights on this subject.


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  • Jan 22 2012: There are several reasons:
    1. The unwillingnes to place oneself at risk. Intimacy necessarily involves trusting the other party. If this trust is broken it could be devastating, so why take such a risk?
    2. The fact that people are expecting to find "the one"! The one who is perfect in every way for them. People may be reluctant to establish intimacy with someone who is not "the one". Of course, there is no such person - and people who are only content with perfection in their partner (and in other areas of life) will ultimately lead unfulfilled lives.
    3. Some people, in some cultures, feel they are being disloyal to their family if they establish intimacy with someone else.

    This is my personal experience based on 46 years on the planet.,
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      Jan 22 2012: Thank you for your insightful response.
      For me, it raises the question of, how can one live a truly fullfilled life without taking all kinds of risks, including emotional ones.
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        Jan 23 2012: To Carolyn: I think perhaps there's a difference between a 'truly fulfilled' life and a 'fulfilled' life. A fulfilled life is taking risks instead of 'all kinds of risks'.

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