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What do you need more of to feel happy, secure and at peace?

What will it take for you to feel personally happy, to be secured in peace, to be your best??

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    Jan 18 2012: I think I could use more self-confidence and courage. I tend to underestimate my abilities and if I do make mistakes, I tend to blame myself too much and not move forward. I know my lack in self-confidence has held me back from being my best, and has interfered with my personal happiness, so to fix this I have taken more risks and tried new stuff for fun. For example I recently started doing tae-kwon-do and after 4 months, I have already acquired a yellow belt and a broken wrist and am happy to have both.
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      Jan 19 2012: Having the same problem here...I know how you feel.
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      Jan 19 2012: Liam and Beste,
      Rather than thinking about this as a problem, try thinking about it, and feeling it as an opportunity?
      Liam, you say you tend to blame yourself too much.

      Suggestion:
      Every single time you catch yourself "blaming", change the thought/feeling/words to something different...more positive. Give YOURSELF the confidence and courage you desire.Taking more risks and trying new stuff is a great start. I LOVE your last sentance..."I have already acquired a yellow belt and a broken wrist and am happy to have both". You didn't blame yourself for the broken wrist, you accepted it as part of the process! You are on your way to change!!! LOVE IT:>)
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        Jan 21 2012: Hi Colleen,
        Thank you for your advice :) It just needs time i guess :)
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          Jan 22 2012: Hi Beste,
          It takes time...and trust in yourself. You are a very insightful, articulate young person, and I appreciate your comments:>) As Liam says, we often underestimate our abilities...believe in yourself and your abilities:>)
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        Jan 24 2012: Hi Colleen,
        Thanks for the advice, and yeah I have found that what you have said has helped me alot really. The way I often see things now is that there is really no need to 'blame' including myself. rather I just tend to forget about it, move on, and understand I can only move on.
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          Jan 24 2012: Hi Liam,
          Thanks for your reply. I was simply reminding you of what you already know in your heart:>) You're right..."no need to blame"...good perception:>) I believe life is an exploration, and blaming simply uses energy we can use in another way:>) Percieving life as an exploration in every moment, gives me the energy to feel personally happy, peaceful and secure:>)
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      Jan 22 2012: Happy to have broken your wrist? :-) That's called "synthetic happiness". :-)
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        Jan 23 2012: Hi Colleen,
        Thank you for your kind words,I really appreciate them :).Im just trying to get to know myself, for I learned that this is how I will be able to understand myself instead of hating myself all the time,which will eventually give me a better understandment of the others around me too.
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        Jan 23 2012: Hi Gregory,
        Looks like you've been listening to Dan Gilbert's good talk about "synthetic happiness" and "natural happiness":>) Hopefully, Liam will pop in here and tell us exactly what level of happiness he is experiencing...there ARE many levels:>)

        Difficult to believe that one may be happy because of the fact that he has a broken wrist! Could it be that he is experiencing the bigger picture? Can our awareness or acceptance of the bigger picture be the underlying "happiness"?

        I think of my near fatal head/brain injury for example. I was not "happy" or "content" with my head cracked open because of a horseback riding accident. There was fear, pain, frustration, etc. Underlying all the emotions that I experienced however, there was a sense of contentment...most of the time:>) I was doing something that I loved doing, and was good at. Accidents happen, and with sport activities we are often taking risks. I was/am content that I was willing and able to enjoy the sport and happy that I was willing and able to take the risks needed to enjoy something I love. I also learned a LOT from the injury and challenges. The bigger picture, is that the experience offered an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve in myself.

        You see how there may be many underlying factors, which contribute to a feeling of happiness/contentment? It is way too simple to say he was happy because he broke his wrist, or I was happy because I bashed my head in? When we consider the big picture, sometimes, we can find happiness in places we may not expect happiness/contentment to be found:>)
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          Jan 23 2012: No I didnt see it but thanks for posting the link,I will be sure to check it out :)
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        Jan 24 2012: Actually, the breaking of the wrist part was not really synthetic happiness, I think I would be just as happy with a normal wrist than with a broken one. I am simply enoying tae kwon do like how Colleen enjoys horseback riding and the broken wrist is really just another experience I have to look back on. Also sorry, it took some time to reply collen, I was starting my spring term of college and was very busy.
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          Jan 24 2012: Hi Liam,
          I've done Tai Chi at times, and I experience Martial Arts as a great opportunity to learn so much about ourselves and life...balance, concentration, focus, strength, control, and the best thing of all, for me, was to learn to yield, and come from the core with strength. That can be an important lesson in all aspects of our lives:>)

          Good luck with the college experience, healing of the wrist, and everything else life has to offer. You sound like a very insightful person, and I appreciate your contributions, so I hope we'll continue to see you here on TED:>)

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