Monique Halley

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Is it worth your investment to have a coach show you a process for reaching higher self-awareness, for personal growth?

Is self-awareness important? would you invest monetarily or the time?

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    Jan 14 2012: Is it worth hiring a coach to gain greater clarity or become self aware? No.

    Why should I pay a coach when I can read a book, attend a yoga class, or muddle through life with my current level of self awareness for a lot less money?

    Even the question - how to become self-aware and gain clarity - is rather vague and nebulous. Why should anyone pay a coach $150+ an hour to work with them to 'become self aware'? How does self awareness impacts someone's life for the better?

    One of the things they tell people starting coaching businesses is that you have to be 110% clear about the value proposition you offer clients. If someone will pay $150+ an hour for coaching services to become self aware, that self awareness better provide +$150 per hour benefit or you won't get clients.

    Would I pay a coach to help me reach my fitness goals? Yes.
    Would I pay a coach to facilitate my career change? You bet.
    Would I pay a coach to coach me through the process of starting my own business? Absolutely.

    These are all very concrete goals with measurable outcomes.

    It may be helpful to consider what special gifts you can bring to clients and create a concrete niche around that.
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      Jan 14 2012: Hi Robin,

      I appreciate your feedback and I hear where your coming from. You may not pay for that, but others have and will continue to do so. An investment doesn't always have to be monetary, it can be time as well. Someone can take time to self-reflect through journaling and become self-aware. However, Not everyone learns from just reading a book, or is into yoga, or are have any sense of true self-awareness to muddle through. If they do choose to do those things, they may still want a coach for another form of connection. It all depends on the individual and what works for them.

      I'm glad to see you're very clear about what you are willing to pay a coach for, believe it or not but everyone doesn't have that same sense of clarity and they need support.

      Being self-aware is a broad topic, but ca be scaled down. I just wanted to get an idea. So thank you again for response.
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    Jan 15 2012: Should that not be the responsibility of schools?
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        Jan 15 2012: Hi Don.

        Sorry, I do like to get ahead of myself! Perhaps I will start another conversation sometime this week.

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      Jan 15 2012: Hi Jonnie,
      Schools certainly can and should be part of the structure which contributes to reaching higher self awareness and personal growth. Ken Robinson reinforces this idea in his TED talks. When schools are part of the process which provides encouragement and support students need to build self esteem and self awareness, then it is not necessary to hire a life coach:>) I think/feel that the ideal situation, which has been mentioned a couple times on this thread, is for EVERYONE to participate in the encouragement and support of each other:>)
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        Jan 15 2012: Hi Colleen,

        I have to say I completely agree with you - and whats more, I think we are well on our way to your hypothersised 'ideal situation'. With the evolution of the internet little hubs like TED have started to emerged over a very short period of time, so I can have these kinds of conversations, but would not have otherwise.

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          Jan 15 2012: I agree Jon, that we are well on our way to sharing information with the evolution of the internet and little hubs like TED. Looks like you're relatively new to TED...Welcome:>)
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    Jan 14 2012: I'm not convinced someone else can show you yourself.

    You can certainly put a material value on self-awareness and higher level consciousness but I don't believe there is a pill or a step-program to make this a convenient 3-minute a day workout. Whatever you do invest, it will be well worth it.

    Living life is the surest way to self-awareness, although, I don't suppose it's any guarantee.
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      Jan 14 2012: You're right Scott. know one else can show you, yourself. It's a process that has to be taken on by the individual and it's definitely non convenient. You have to be willing to tell the truth about yourself and that's not always so easy to do.
      I do agree, any investment towards self-awareness is worth it.

      Thanks for your response!
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      Jan 15 2012: Don,

      I like the statement of; "finds the road that takes him to this city"
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      Jan 15 2012: Hi Don,

      Thank you for your response. I checked out the link, very interesting. You have made really good points.

      I do have one question: What do you mean by "coach for rent"?

      I look forward to your helpful ideas.
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      Jan 15 2012: Hi Don & Monique,

      I had never considered for a second finding (or even having for that matter) a mentor/ life coach. It's sounds like a great idea. I assume the reason for not having "a coach for rent" is because someone's help should be for the sake of helping, not spilling a few words for some extra money. On first impressions I think I would be sceptical about investing in a life coach, I think I would much rather find someone with a wealth of experience in the fields I am interested in.

      I know conventionally a single mentor may have been a fundamental principle for all of the greats, but with so many amazing people at our fingertips, is it not possible take feedback from places such as this?

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    Jan 14 2012: Nosce te ipsum. (Know thyself.)

    We can not see our own face without a mirror.

    A coach, or a teacher is, in effect, a mirror. They allow us to see our self in a way that is not possible without one.

    Some people live their entire lives without ever looking in a mirror.


    Is it worth it to invest in a coach?

    That depends on whether or not we want to see our face.

    It also depends on what the coach is teaching ... and whether or not they are a clear, clean or distorted mirror.


    Becoming aware of skills, talents, and attributes is not what "knowing thyself" means. In my observation, a life-skills coach may or may not be worth the money they charge or worth the time they take. However, truly knowing oneself is priceless. No ethical teacher would charge for helping us to know ourselves. How could they charge for something that is already ours?

    There would still be an "investment." It would be our attention, focus, and time.

    Is that worth it?

    That depends on what we want.
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      Jan 15 2012: Thank you Thomas for taking the time to give me some feedback on my question.

      All of your points are well taken. My thoughts are someone can coach another person on a process, steps, or a different approach for them to use and do the work to find themselves. Not for the coach to tell them who they think they are. Yes we are already who we are, no one gives that to us, how ever some people loose themselves in their experiences, negative belief system and so much more and they can't find their way out. A some point in their lives, they want to see their face, as you put it.

      btw...I've heard of a life coach but never a life-skills coach.

      What language is (Nosce te ipsum)?

      Again, I appreciate your response, Thomas.
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        Jan 15 2012: Hi Monique,

        In the movie the Matrix, Morpheus takes Neo to see the Oracle and stops when they reach the front door to remind Neo of something Morpheus had said earlier: "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it."

        "Nosce te ipsum" is Latin.

        [And now that I have cited The Matrix: "Nosce te ipsum" actually appears in the movie on a sign above the Oracle's kitchen door. In "real life" the expression is often attributed to Socrates .. via Plato ... and was apparently inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi in ancient Greece. The Greek version is "gnōthi seauton."]
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    Jan 14 2012: The ideal, I believe, is for each of us to have someone, or a small number of people with whom we can connect about things we are trying to work through for ourselves and for that support to be offered and received out of a sense of community or of caring rather than as part of a commercial relationship. As others have shared here, there are wonderful free blog and web resources that people can access to guide them through self-questioning, ways of journaling, and other tools of self-exploration. People can use these as individuals or in groups.of people inquiring together and supporting each other in their reflection.
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      Jan 14 2012: I get what you're saying Fritzie, it should me more a communal offering to help someone with self realization and not for profit.

      All points are well taken, I know from personal experience that having access to those resources is not always enough and depending on the individual more support is needed, outside of blogs, books, groups etc.
      I do know that those tools are helpful as well.

      Thank you for your feedback, Fritzie.
  • Jan 14 2012: i have been thinking about this alot lately. i am all for learning more about myself and improving to the best of my ability. but unfortunately i have to pull the "broke" card. as wonderful as it would be to better my self awareness i dont have the money to pay anyone for their services. (all the more reason for a resource based economy) . . .
    i just went to your website and read what you do- i feel like this was meant to happen. i have been googling alot lately tryin to find ways to learn more about myself and improve the way i let things affect me. i look forward to reading more of your thoughts and ideas!
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      Jan 14 2012: Hi Sarah,

      Thank you so much for responding, I appreciate your honest feedback. This definitely gives me more insight on what's stopping people from making the investment and find a way to offer a more affordable service. I believe once you truly know who you are you, can eliminate confusion and make better decision, be more confident, have peace of mind and so much more.

      Since it's meant to be, please email me @ I would love to talk you more and see how I can help you learn more about yourself.

      Be Blissful!
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    Jan 21 2012: Study and practice "other-awareness" and you will make a greater contribution than by occupying yourself with "self."
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      Jan 21 2012: You can't contribute anything to others if you know little or nothing about yourself.

      There's a reason "Nosce te ipsum" is well known and "Cognosce alias" is not.

      Even the Golden Rule is predicated on knowing oneself:

      "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
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        Jan 21 2012: I wasn't speaking to someone who knows "little or nothing about" him/her-self, Thomas. We all know a great deal about ourselves, though it's become the fashion to deny it. However, that's beside the point. We're talking about "awareness," not "knowledge." They're not at all the same thing.
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          Jan 21 2012: Hi Paul,

          I agree "other-awareness" is a valuable attribute to nurture. I do not agree we know a great deal about ourselves (generally speaking.) Many of us know what we like and what we don't like ... and that's about it. Why we like what we like but where our biases originate, are rarely explored.

          But for me, it goes "deeper" than that.

          There is a thread that runs through our recorded history - well, there are many: war, conflict, development, discovery, and so on - but I am referring to a specific thread. The one that says, "know thyself."

          It is repeated again and again from epoch to epoch. I think there are reasons for that. One, is it is important. And, two, it is probably not as easy to do as we might think it is.

          And I also agree knowledge and awareness are not the same thing.

          Some say, self-knowledge may be the highest goal we can strive for.

          My reason for commenting is that I have noticed a tendency to put "other" ahead of "self" (not in your post but in general.)

          Focussing on self is seen as "selfish" with the pejorative connotation associated with that word.

          I think this is a mistake.

          Understanding (or knowing) "self" is a prerequisite for understanding "other."


          [This was rushed ... the clock is reading 2:59 ... 58 ...]
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    Jan 15 2012: The next time I see the Matrix, I will notice the sign and know what it means, thanks to you.

    I appreciate the explanation, Thomas.
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    Jan 14 2012: Whatever information we explore, accept and use in our life journey is a choice we make for ourselves. I believe self awareness is very important, and how we get to that place in ourselves may be different for each individual. I find that living life mindfully, with awareness of being in the moment and intention to learn and grow, is the best "investment" we can make for ourselves.

    You ask "how much money and time would you invest?
    Each person can answer that question for him/her "self".
    Maybe another question would be helpful...
    What is my contentment in this life worth?
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      Jan 14 2012: Hi Collleen

      I agree with you on being mindful and living in the moment, will definitely create create awareness. Although it seem simple it can be challenging for some people.

      I took a mental note of your suggested question. So would you have a different response that question?

      Thank you for your response, it's very helpful.
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        Jan 14 2012: Monique,
        Yes, being mindful and aware in the moment can be challenging. As Robin insightfully points out, there are books and various practices available for guidence.

        The question I suggested, is one that anyone can ask of him/her "self", to decide how much money and time to invest, and in what ways the investment might be beneficial.

        Honestly Monique, it feels like you are trying to promote your business here.
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          Jan 14 2012: Hi Colleen,

          I am trying to gain insight for the business, so I can offer effective services. If I have offended you in anyway my apologies. I just found this link and assumed it can be used this way.

          I haven't placed my business link into the question, or mentioned it. I had to list a website when I signed up. If I do make a connection for business through this, then that's great. But I'm not pushing it, I merely asked a question to gain insight.

          As I replied to Robin, books and other practices may not be the answer for everyone.

          Thank you for your feedback.