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Nic Marks

Director, Happiness Works

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Can we really become happier? Happier ourselves? Can we create happier places to work? Or even happier societies?

Happiness can often seem elusive ... like love ... the more we chase it the more it seems to slip away from us. Can we really become lastingly happier? Are such efforts worthwhile or futile?

What about organisations and businesses? Can we create happier organisations? Would they be more effective or simply not be competitive?

How about whole societies? Should governments be seeking to help citizens lead happier lives? Or is that somehow sinister?

The new emerging science of happiness and well-being seems to offer some insights but the real world is not the same as controlled experiments.

What do you think? What are your favourite recipes for happiness?

Take part in this Live Conversation this Wednesday, 11th January at 10am PST / 1pm EST / 6pm GMT (my time zone in London!)

Topics: Live Conversation happiness
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Closing Statement from Nic Marks

Well I enjoyed 'hosting' this conversation very much ... we touched on so many topics from the meanings of happiness, the pathways to happiness and a look at the darker side of depression and suicide. We talked of determination, choice, acceptence, contentment and love ... of generosity and poverty ... of consumerism and education ... of passions and curiosity, mediation and exercise ...

It seems to me that a conversation about happiness can get to the core of the human experience ... and in a world facing difficulties of today and tomorrow (a MLK quote!) it could just be that thinking and having conversations about human happiness could be the start of a quiet revolution of our shared world ...

Thanks for talking with me today

Be well

Nic

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    Ryan Bennett

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: I wish I had found this conversation with longer than two minutes left to comment. Such is life. Seeing as I have sixty seconds, I'll leave this with a quote I heard. not sure who said it.

    Happiness is like a butterfly. Chase it and it will always elude you, but divert your attention to other things, and it will come and rest quietly on your shoulder.
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    Poppy Spencer

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Smiling and happy to share in this dialogue; thank you all :)
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    natasha nikulina 50+

    • 0
    TED Translator
    Jan 11 2012: Happiness has a kind of reflective quality, we receive 'the wave', making others happy.

  • Chunyin Law

    • +4
    Jan 11 2012: Happiness is just one facet of human experience. As a particular aim for our lives or society, happiness is overrated. Why not think about being a kinder, more forgiving person, or working on making a more just society, securing the rights for minorities, helping the poor and needy, ... , etc as intrinsic aims themselves, rather than making people (me or others) happy? There are more worthwhile things to be done.

  • Asta Baskauskaite

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: I live in Lithuania. there are those who say that people in formerly Soviet occupied countries are negative, unhappy and not very friendly. I moved here from the States. Each day I try to share happiness, positive energy and smiles with people whom I meet. My first hand experience is that it does make a difference! Saying 'hello' to strangers we pass on the sidewalk when we walk our dog eventually prompts them to reply 'hello'. Sharing smiles and happiness goes a long way!
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    ana maria avellaneda velasco

    • +2
    Jan 11 2012: I think happiness is something you have to learn, you have to grow and get yourself in a place where you can understand really who you are, I really think we came into this world to learn how to be happy, and that is a process you can not live alone, so you have to build relationships with the others, with your enviroment and so. So we can create happy places? of course we can, a whole society, we can also, not easy task, but it is the challenge!!
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      Medha Purandare

      • 0
      Jan 11 2012: Well said ..we can also, not easy task, but it is the difficult challenge! !

  • Devine Riding

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Reality is the true key to unhappiness. I find happiness in "moments". Moments of making a true positive impact to another person or myself. A moment shared with a loved one, especially my grandson. Those same moments, when they are negative, onset true unhappiness, also.

  • Adam Heath

    • +2
    Jan 11 2012: One man that should not be left out of a conversation about happiness is John Stuart Mill. Mill spent the entirety of his life literally from the time he was six learning greek till his death in 1873 thinking about happiness, Specifically in the form of utility i.e. "The greatest happiness for the greatest number" or the greatest happiness principle. He was trained up by his father in one of the most rigorous courses of education in the history of the world, and by 20 Mill had his first nervous breakdown, in which all of his conviction about the things he had been taught were called into question. This breakdown would repeat itself at other times in his life, but the conclusion he comes to about happiness is known as the Paradox of Hedonism. The paradox was realized by mill when he began to question himself asking '"Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?" And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, "No!"' Mills conclusion at this was that if your objective is happiness, you could not go at it directly. If you do some action solely with the intent of increasing your happiness, when you review and ask the question "did this work" you will find that it didn't. upon much time of reflection Mill concluded with this thought: "But I now thought that this end [one's happiness] was only to be attained by not making it the direct end. Those only are happy (I thought) who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness[....] Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness along the way[....] Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so."
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      Medha Purandare

      • +1
      Jan 11 2012: Something else.. quite true. Just reading comments is making me happy.
      .

  • LUISELLA GHIANI

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: I strongly believe in a different kind of society, with no more competition but cooperation, for instance, a society where you are not obliged to work all day long - I come back home every day at about 7 p.m. and it's too late! I really want and need to get some time for myself, reading and improving my education.
    Just find out again we are still human beings ,if you know what I mean
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    Annie Orenstein

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Such an interesting topic, and there are many books that are written on it as well..
    If I may suggest Happier by Dr. Tal Ben- Shahar who taught Positive Psychology at Harvard.

    Happiness, to me, is tapping in to ones own inner strengths and discovering our core purpose. People tend to walk blindly in this world because they are victims of the rat race. They fall prey to the push to be the best... better than everyone. This race does not bring us happiness. It actually deters people from their individual calling.

    I beleive that the more train ourselves to be a part of a whole, then we will respect other peoples dreams and aspirations. Ultimately, we have to fill our own shoes, and make the change that only we are meant to make in this world.

    So, being part of a whole, when it is used in different environments, such as a community, or a workplace can give people a strong sense of ownership over what they are bringing to the table. This creates an identity, and makes us feel needed in society. Happiness to me is the fulfillment of a sense of belonging, and love.Its finding a void and filling it with goodness and meaning.

    We must train ourselves to be positive in interpreting our world, and we should never forget to smile..

    I know, that making other people happy makes me happy. I hope that I am good at it.
    Thanks for reading,Annie
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    Turkan Devrijova

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Everyone, listen to these amazing words crying out love, peace, kindness, friendship, brotherhood, humanity and Happiness...All are what we need to be Happy!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CsgaFKwUA6g

  • Atiqur Rahman

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Happy individuals makes happy organizations, happy society, happy country, Everything is happy. :)

  • Jaiann Twinkle

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Maybe a lot of people equate Happiness with "excitement" which tends to make it pretty shortlived and dependent on external stimulus? For me, Happiness is a quiet inner, independent, experience, one perhaps of fulfillment, contentment, peacefulness, serenity - a sense of satisfaction with myself and who I am. Happiness with myself is perhaps the most fulfilling, satisfying of all life experiences! This requires for me some form of going within and resonating within with this place of quiet loving acceptance of myself, that's where I find Happiness, serenity within myself. For me, depending on the outside world to "make something happen to make me" happy doesn't"work"! (smile) Smiles are silent happiness!: )

  • Ed Frizzell

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Is happiness the opposite of sorrow, the absents of sorrow, or something else all together? I feel content when I just experience the coming and going of sensations, thoughts and emotions as they occur. Is this happiness?

    • Charles Mathew

      • 0
      Jan 11 2012: That's why I use contentment, peace, and joy as my goals rather than "happiness". I can be joyful in sorrow but not happy in sorrow.
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        Chris McNaught

        • +2
        Jan 11 2012: I agree Charles (couldn't reply to your reply on my comment). I can be content in the midst of any circumstance, but cannot be happy in many circumstances. Contentment, peace, and joy are choices.

  • Asta Baskauskaite

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: Happiness is a way of life. Sharing kindness and positive energy can change people around us & impact our community. Being grateful for life, health and all the blessings in life are essential for happiness.

  • Charles Mathew

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: Very interesting discussion. I have come to understand that there is a huge difference between happiness and joy/contentment. It is very difficult to be happy when someone close has passed away but it is possible to be at peace and have joy. This may be just semantics, of course, but I feel that happiness depends on circumstances and cannot be chosen.

    Contentment, peace, and joy all are choices and depend on hope.
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      Nic Marks 100+

      • +1
      TED SpeakerTED Attendee
      Jan 11 2012: I think we can choose where we put our energies ... our attention ... and if we choose wisely happiness flows out the side ... tis elusive - we can't go directly for it (like love!) ...

  • Stephen Baker

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Are you doing research nic?
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      Nic Marks 100+

      • +1
      TED SpeakerTED Attendee
      Jan 11 2012: I work at a UK think tank - on why Governments should take people's well-being and happiness serously ... so we are a bridge between research and practice ... I have been doing this for 10 years now (I am getting old!) ... but we have had some success as the Uk is the first government in the world to commit to National Accounts of Well-being and is starting to systematicall address some of these issues ...
      More recently I am creating a tool for businesses/organisations to measure the happiness @ work of their employees - which is great fun ... so I am on the practical end of research if you like ... you?

  • Stephen Baker

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: I just read an article earlier on this. "How will you measure your life" Very good read by Clayton M. Christensen @ Harvard

    http://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-measure-your-life/ar/5

  • Julie Horns

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: What about the role of memory in happiness? I often ascribe my ability to be happy to how easily I forget social slights. A lot of unhappiness seems to result from dwelling on how people have wronged you or how you behaved imperfectly.
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    Shabnam Almammadova

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: Happiness is just a matter of choice... If you decide to be happy, you will find reasons to be happy...
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      Nic Marks 100+

      • +1
      TED SpeakerTED Attendee
      Jan 11 2012: Dolly Parton says this! I once wrote an article about why she was 50% right ... basically our environments are also important ... harder to be happy with an abusive partner/parent ... harder to be happy if your friends and family are dying of malaria, HIV/Aids or in conflicts ... more people thrive in benign environments and more sink in deprived ones - but some struggle in objectively very nice circumstances and others do well in spite of adversity ... we are ourselves and our environments ...
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      danny frazier

      • +1
      Jan 11 2012: For myself, this is completely true! When I was homeless and completely unloved, I was still very happy. I wasn't happy about my situation, but I still giggled and found silly things funny. You really do decide.

  • Adam Robbins

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Our society has many different definitions of happiness. For someone living in poverty stricken African countries, the meaning of happiness may be different than a hedge fund manager in Manhattan. I think the only way our society will achieve true happiness is when we eliminate the scarcity that is inherently built into our system to promote profit over well-being.

  • Sofia Ugarte

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: "To the degree we have desire, to that degree we suffer."
    Bhante Henepola Gunaratana. Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness (I strongly recomend it)
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    Ayesha Sayed 500+

    • +1
    TED AttendeeTEDx Organizer
    Jan 11 2012: I think happiness is an idea, we are sold the idea that we can be happy if we do such and such. In truth, I've usually found myself being 'happy' when doing absolutely nothing. I was just paying attention to what I was doing and where I was and voila! I've since read books on being here now and it's a recipe that works for me. I notice that when I start living in the regrets of the past or drown in the worries of the future I get agitated. But the moment I come back, I feel a sense of relief, that can be called happiness.

  • Stephen Baker

    • +1
    Jan 11 2012: Everyone's personal happiness plays out very differently just based on each person's definition of happiness. However, if everyone was happy, it would certainly make the work place and or community a much better place. Does that mean not everyone is happy? not sure

    Example; You may hate your job but live a very fulfilling life outside of work.

    Each person's Paradigm is what defines their definition of happiness

  • Penny Hall

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Happiness is also about being grateful for what you have, not worried about what you do not have and want. Lusting for the material life trappings causes unhappiness......being happy for what you have causes happiness. VERY easy to just change your persepective.........
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    Allison Massari

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Thank you my friend! (Determination.... Oh so true...! And, Oh so worth it...)
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    Carmen Roberts

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Close but not equal, because absolute can still be concerned with your own values. It is not limited to others people's and societies. Absolute happiness (or enlightenment) involves all aspects of life, even the ones that are very personal. Cheers!

  • Veronica Raulin

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: Hi Nic! I recently attended a screening of Happy, the documentary that you were in. Have you seen the completed film? I really enjoyed the message and the fact that the film helps ignite conversations around happiness, much like this talk. I think that talking about happiness is the first step to becoming happier and learning about the journeys being taken by others to reach a happier life. I know that the film is being released soon and think that others in this conversation may enjoy participating. For anyone who is interested, more information is available at www.WorldHappyDay.com.
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      Nic Marks 100+

      • 0
      TED SpeakerTED Attendee
      Jan 11 2012: I saw it last year - and to be honest I had forgotten I was in it! It took poor Roko so long to complete that it was 4/5 years that my interview happened - i looked so much younger on the screen (and no beard and long hair!) Loved the film though ... especially the old Japanese women!
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    Tyler Callister

    • 0
    Jan 11 2012: [Continuing from my first post]

    So if it's possible to be happy in almost any profession, then does it even matter what you for a career? Yes, actually, it does matter, but not in the way exactly in the way of "passions."

    Here's what I mean: My generation has been extremely lucky. Many more of us have been able to attend college than previous generations, and we've been able to open up many more life opportunities because of that. Our parents and our peers were excited to see this happening -- and rightly so. Education is invaluable and our society is only just beginning to see the fruits of so many educated young people. Even with sky-high tuitions, American universities are overflowing with students. But along with this excitement has come a message to college graduates: "Find what your passionate about, and do that for a living." After all, why not? You went to college, you got study whatever you wanted to, so don't work at McDonald's. Instead, work at a "job that you love."

    There's only one problem with this message: It's wrong. Because if people can be happy in many different professions, ranging from janitor to rockstar, then the idea of doing what your "passionate" about for a living makes no sense. Try asking a garbage man if he's passionate about garbage. He probably isn't. But there's no question that there are some -- possibly many -- garbage men out there who are happy with their lives. So what we can make of this?

    I used to think that your career path should be led by your passions. The problem is, your passions change. They change with age, with experience, with the wind... So where does that leave us? What should you do for a living? The answer is simple, and it's always been there: you should do what you're GOOD at. First, find a type of work thatyou're good at -- better than anybody else. Then, and only then, do you begin to bring your passions and interests into it.
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