hiwe pius

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Can you kindly complete this? If you love me then you will never...

experiences, evaluations and expectations run with time...our references is a mix of our past experiences and they affect our present emotional and mental states which in turn influences our present evaluations thus, finally predicts to a large extent our future expectations...
This question would help you recall those values you have for love and would help in shaping your 3 'Es'

if you love me then you will never lie to me.

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    Jan 1 2012: If you love me..then you truly understand and trust me
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      Jan 3 2012: Beste...many times i think loved ones understand us but don't just want to accept us for who we are...and this leads to the distrust, what do you think?
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        Jan 7 2012: Hi Hiwe,Sorry for the late reply i have been having my final exams for this term and was busy studying...Anyway:) I see your point,it seems like sometimes we ignore to understand our loved ones because we have created a somewhat 'ideal' image of them in our minds,so we refuse to see this person different than we pictured him/her,which does eventually lead to distrust.
  • Dec 30 2011: Wow, it's hard to finish this line. I want to say "If you love me, then you will never hate me".

    Oh how I wish your question would read: "If you love me then you will always..."


    Although "always..." is really not that great either, because what we do and how it's perceived are two different things. We might do something that is in our opinion wonderful, but if the person we love perceives it as a lie, or a hurt, how do we control that??

    Also, anybody that tells us "If you love me then you will never...." is, in my opinion, asking for the impossible. And that person doesn't really love us.

    I hope I have made sense. This was a tough question.
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      Jan 3 2012: thanks for this immense contribution, the reason behind the scene for choosing the word "never" as the round character in that question is because by using the word, you hold yourself to a ever continuous high standard not to go back on your words and your loved one has a confident assurance to hold on to....thus, even though you ain't perfect and sometimes fall short of your commitment you still long to reach that standard...i hope can comprehend my total jargon Mary?
      • Jan 3 2012: yes, yes, I totally comprehend your total jargon :)

        Even though we are not perfect, and sometimes fall short of our commitment we still long to reach the standard of our devotion/vow.
        I think that sincere people try ever continously to prove to others their unfailing love, commitment, devotion, loyalty......I just have never been in any relationship, family, friendship or marriage where any of the parties involved have spoken in such demanding terms. I personally feel it is a bit, well, at the risk of being harsh, I'll say "naive", to use "never" or "always" when it comes to emotions or actions. The reason is, like I stated before, you are not in control of how the other one perceives; then when one of the two involved is offended, the conversation usually goes like this: "I thought you said you'd never..........." and the other person will find themself defending their actions, which again should not happen in an honest, loving relationship.

        Yours was a great question. I have loved reading everyone's take on it. Thank you for replying to my entry. Mary
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          Jan 3 2012: firstly i would have to say it has been a great pleasure for everyone reading these so far and i believe more human truths are yet to be unveiled...these truths although as "YOUnique" as they are, they are also universal and timeless inhabiting beneath our skins...

          i sincerely believe that love in and of itself is more about the journey and less about the arrival. what do you think Mary? I would really love to know more opinion about this conversation get you friends to read all these comments and also have the chance for theirs to be read. thanks once again.
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      Jan 3 2012: i do not understand...please be explicable.
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    Jan 10 2012: Hiwe, I am well. A snow owl. It is beautiful. Do the signify more than just beauty?
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    Jan 4 2012: Hiwe, I thought of many things but this one seems to meet all of the requirements.

    If you love me you will never .... have to say your sorry.

    Is love is, or should be, unconditional violating that trust in any form is unacceptable. If you must say "I am sorry" it is to late to reconcile a act of betrayal.
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      Jan 5 2012: My God what line from what movie was that from?Or is it a song?
      Of course you dont have to say you're sorry but it might help. But if the inference is that you will never hurt me and therefore never have tro say "Sorry" Well then Hello?. Stepping on toes just sometimes cannot be avoided.
      Tell me Robert, have you dumped someone for betraying you or did you betray them or as is more likely the case both have happened, probably more than once?
      The big loves hurt i know and betrayal (infidelity?) is the sharpest knife it seems particularly for men it would seem. Ouch! I feel an attack coming on. Not from you though Robert.
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    Jan 2 2012: I have seen some terrible things happen between those that love themselves , so i think it is not love we should be talking about here.
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      Jan 4 2012: So what do you think is more important? kindly share...
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        Jan 5 2012: Hmmm. I'm certainly not vtalking Hollywood happy endings. I'm talking about a deep understanding of who we are and in particular how we behave. I'm talking forgiveness and understanding. Not high statements of commitment. I think we are only just beginning to reveal our natures through the work of evolutionary biologists and psychologists. I'm not sure we can make bold statements and believe that they will hold up for ever or until tomorrow.
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          Jan 5 2012: what an insight... well forgiveness and understanding are just parts of the matter i believe, the heart of it is ... i do not know now but i know before this conversation expires i would get an inkling to it.
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        Jan 5 2012: Reveal yourself. Are you really a bird? Is that a wise old owl or a dove?
        Look its just the 'never' I have problems with.
        Never never.
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          Jan 10 2012: Phillip my Ted pal...come on that is a snow owl...how have you been?
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    Jan 1 2012: If you love me you will never lie to me.......
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      Jan 3 2012: i really wish the world could live by this...but let me be direct: have you ever lied to someone you cared for before?
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        Jan 3 2012: No it is not in my nature and causes a lot of problems. The thing is we are all wired different.
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          Jan 3 2012: and i strongly agree with you on this.
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        Jan 3 2012: Yeah, I have a hard time with friendships because of this,but my friends know I am honest.
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    Dec 31 2011: If you love me you will never stop loving me.
    "The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love". -- (W.Somerset Maugham)
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      Jan 3 2012: thanks a lot for that contribution...but are you saying that to love is a decision you make and not a feeling you have?
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        Jan 3 2012: Now we are going to need a definition of "love" hiwe.
        I agree with the quote. But I think we use the word "love" when it is probably not justified.
        I believe love endures all things, even crushing disappointment in the person we love. Love never quits. If my good affections for someone vaporize the first time they upset, or disappoint me then that was not love.
        Good affections cease, like Maugham says, but if I truly love someone I will never stop loving them. Thanks hiwe.
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          Jan 3 2012: thank you too...what a deep insight
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      Jan 3 2012: why don't you let these word known to the person in context...so what you say?
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    Dec 30 2011: I will never hurt you nor let anybody hurt you.

    For me that implies everything, no hurting fisically nor your feelings, not to lie, not to insult, not to cheat, not to look down on you...

    The same way I expect the same from you.
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      Jan 3 2012: Thanks man...yes you won't hurt her but the power to protect her from the hurt inflicted or might likely be inflicted by others might not be within your jurisdiction...what do you think?
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    Dec 30 2011: Well the cliche would be " leave me". But we know thats a lie. If you love me you will never " hurt me?" Sorry promises, promises. Though I'd hope i wouldnt. Perhaps the answer would be and indeed another cliche' "I will never say never."

    With regard toyour line " if you love me then you will never lie to me" doesnt sit easily with me. Perhaps it is because i love you that i will lie to you.

    More to the point would i ever betray you?
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      Dec 30 2011: Phillip are you telling me you have not experienced love before?
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        Jan 2 2012: Hiwe, I guess i've been in what you call love. Perhaps a couple of times. But love can be broken down into many parts. I'm all for honesty in relatiionships and that is not easy when many are formed with deceit. Not intentional, nonetheless deceit. Even self deceit. We know that love wears of over time and then other influences may keep together or drive apart "lovers".
        I am well versed in the romantic notions put to us in Hollywood movies and the idealiseDnarratives we hold in our minds. I also know how quickly the tide can turn if evolutionary drives are not met or compromised.
        I guess really i am a bit skeptical of the question and the answers that might follow.
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          Jan 3 2012: HONESTY...hmmm is an ambiguous word in the crux of this discussion love, because it's practically possible that someone's spouse colud be honestly telling a lie...honesty to me could be induced or pseudo-conviction.
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        Jan 5 2012: Honesty is not ambiguous. Honestly. Its just one person's view. Now if we want to get into self deception and deception of others then i hardly think honesty is the right word. We dont honestly tell lies. But we might make things up to maintain some dignity. Those honest lies if looked at closely were not honest. There was motivation. How the hell does one pronounce your name? Is it Hugh?
        Sorry Hiwe i have problems staying on topic sometimes.
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          Jan 6 2012: thanks all the same...well its pronounced "high way"