Jane Therese Losaria

This conversation is closed.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

i asked this to a few people i know and almost everyone answered "something naughty" and provided specifics, so i just wanna ask the same question to this community to see if they would have the same or an entirely different view about this.

  • Jan 4 2012: Two things come to mind, singing out loud in public more often; and hugging my male friends.

    Oh how I wish people were more open minded and saw the value of a good hug!!!
    • thumb
      Jan 4 2012: With you on both counts Mary; thank goodness for Church.

      God Bless

      :-)
      • Jan 4 2012: Here's a big hug Peter.....no fear of judgment today...and here's a poem I absolutely love:

        Hug O'War
        I will not play at tug o' war.
        I'd rather play at hug o' war,
        Where everyone hugs
        Instead of tugs,
        Where everyone giggles
        And rolls on the rug,
        Where everyone kisses,
        And everyone grins,
        And everyone cuddles,
        And everyone wins.

        Mary
    • thumb
      Jan 4 2012: Dear Mary and everyone...
      You might enjoy this? It makes me smile every time I watch it...just like hugging my friends:>)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hN8CKwdosjE
      • thumb
        Jan 4 2012: That's the most beautify clip I've seen in ages; eyes streaming. Thanks Colleen (Big Hug).

        :-))
      • Jan 4 2012: wonderfull clip realy .thank you for shared Colleen
        • thumb
          Jan 4 2012: Είστε ευπρόσδεκτοι. Είναι χαρά μου.:>)
      • Jan 4 2012: Colleen.....thank you very much. How beautiful. I had to keep wiping my eyes to be able to see the video. Here is a poem by Shel Silverstein. Oh that he were alive to read it on a TED talk.

        Hug O'War

        I will not play at tug o' war.
        I'd rather play at hug o' war,
        Where everyone hugs
        Instead of tugs,
        Where everyone giggles
        And rolls on the rug,
        Where everyone kisses,
        And everyone grins,
        And everyone cuddles,
        And everyone wins.

        Have a beautiful day....Mary sending a hug your way! regardless of who will judge me!!
      • thumb
        Jan 4 2012: Awwww...

        I couldn't watch it when you first posted it, but now is right when I need it. Thanks!

        It hurts to be misjudged; thinking of camping out at that conversation, "what would you do if you knew you wouldn't be judged?"
        I thought I was pretty immune, but when I do something with honesty and good will, and I end up being misunderstood and labeled, it gets right to my core.

        Something else needs to be worked on there -not sure if it will be hardening the core or avoiding transparency, honesty and good will...
        This was a sweet balm, Coleen.
        • thumb
          Jan 5 2012: My Dear Karina,
          I observe that things often come to me "right when I needed it"!

          It certainly CAN hurt to be misjudged. Think about this...if someone is judging, or misjudging us, does that belong to us....or....does the judgement belong to the person judging? Do we accept his/her judgement of ourselves? Or do we know ourselves enough to know that his/her judgement is incorrect?

          I don't think it's a matter of being "immune" to what people may say about us, but rather, know ourselves well enough to know that what s/he is saying may not be true?

          If you do something with "honesty and good will", which I have no doubt that you do, why does it "get to your core" when someone says something that is not your truth? Do you trust another person, or an outside judgement over what you know about yourself?

          I wouldn't avoid transparency, because some of us really like that:>) I also wouldn't harden the core, because that's just another way to avoid transparency. Be all that you can be in your loving, kind way, and trust that in your "self":>)

          My intent is to remind you of your honesty, good will, and loving kindness, which I observe many times with your comments:>)
  • thumb
    Jan 1 2012: You ask a question that is by defination "character" Character is what you do when no one else knows. The harshest judge of all is the person that looks back at you in the mirror. If an otherwise honest man steals he will have trouble sleeping. A real thief / murder / otherwise bad person has no trouble at all sleeping.

    I am not a good dancer either. I dance for me and have fun.
  • thumb
    Dec 29 2011: I would dance-walk.

    I love to dance, but I have all the grace of a turtle on its back. If I knew that nobody would find it silly, I would dance, however badly, throughout my work, the store, wherever.
    • thumb
      Dec 30 2011: that isn't that bad at all. music saves my sanity, and to dance with it is beyond awesome, imagine if everyone would dance-walk =)
      • thumb
        Dec 30 2011: Then the world would be one giant glorious flash mob. Although some might consider that a little too idealistic, I think the world could use more of that.

        Now, you have my answer, so let's ask you: what would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
        • thumb
          Jan 2 2012: being born and bred in a seemingly conservative society i would like to pose for a sexy photo in a men's magazine =)
    • thumb
      Jan 4 2012: Dear Verble,
      Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain. Go for it!!! Dance, dance, dance...it feels GREAT! I LOVE the idea of "one giant glorious flash mob". I agree...the world could use more of that:>)
    • thumb
      Jan 6 2012: Verble,

      Yes, dancing!
      Dance like no one is watching...

      (BTW, sea turtles "dance" slowly and gracefully once they are in the water, I think it all depends on what tune you dance to... maybe you need to spend some time listening to your own music...)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ymrrzjaDIQ&feature=related
      • thumb
        Jan 6 2012: Karina and Colleen,

        I just want to take a moment to thank all of you for your very supportive responses. I suppose that if the world were filled with like minded people then I wouldn't be afraid of being judged for my silliness.

        Also, loved the video : that turtle is graceful AND not afraid of being judged either.

        But to get back on topic, what you both you and Ms Steen do differently if you knew that nobody would judge you?
        • thumb
          Jan 7 2012: You are right, I haven't told you yet!

          I am already doing pretty much all I would do, but I have to acknowledge it has been a process.

          There is one thing I can think of. I am a jeans-and-tee shirt/white shirt kinda person, a dog and a horse complete the picture. But I work in the city, and there is a lot of peer pressure in my environment regarding how "I should look"... So, I would stop wearing make up (I already use very little) and go back to the "uniform" I love.
          Good enough?
        • thumb
          Jan 7 2012: Verble,
          Being silly is not a bad thing. Within silliness, is joy, humor, the desire and ability to relax and trust our "self".

          Great video Karina...thanks. It reminds me of a time in Mexico, when a friend and I went snorkeling with a local person. He brought us out on his catamaran, told us to jump in the water and he would pick us up at a place he pointed to down the coast. He told us to stay above the reef, and there was a current that would take us to the place he pointed to. When we got in the water, there were 100+ sea turtles riding the current with us!!!!! They were so magnificent, and it was an unbelievable experience:>)

          Verble,
          I answered the question you ask in my very first comment on this thread, starting with:
          "What would I do differently if I knew nobody would judge me? Nothing different".
          My comment goes on to tell you why:>)
  • thumb
    Jan 4 2012: What would I do differently if I knew nobody would judge me? Nothing different.

    My mom is popping into the conversation here again...LOL:>) When I was a wee little one, my mother asked me..."how would it feel if the whole world knew what you were doing or saying right now?" That seed has been planted in the back of my mind ever since, and I'm grateful for it. With each and every word and action in my life journey, that is one of the filters in my heart and mind which helps guide my words and actions. When it comes right down to it, it is the person who looks back at me in the mirror who is the judge of what I do and say.
    • Jan 4 2012: Hi Colleen, as a mom I also inculcate this in my children. At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, because as the saying goes: "Wherever you go, there you are".

      That having been said, I think that many times we refrain from doing things not so much because we will be judged, but because we change people's opinion of who we are. Don't you think that many times we become flustered and want to say **!!**!!! but instead choose kinder words? But when we are in the company of more intimate friends we are our true selves. I mean, it is easy to say **!!! when we are alone and bang our toe.....but if others were around us, we refrain from using ***!!! And also, don't you find that because we take interest in others and have empathy, we refrain from doing certain things in front of certain people because we know we will hurt them?

      These are just a few observations. It is a terrible thing to walk around measuring words and thinking what will people think of me if I do this or that, But, sadly, I think because some people are not honest with themselves, they end up hiding their true selves from others because they know they will receive adverse judgement. In public, I am grateful when adults refrain from obscene language and actions when they see children, and fear the judgement of their parents.

      Wow, I didn't mean to write so much, but the words flowed out. Have a good day. :)
      • thumb
        Jan 4 2012: Hi Mary,
        I agree.....Wherever we go, there we are:>)

        I am my "true self" whenever, wherever, with whomever. Of course, we all have different filters, which we use all the time....hopefully:>)

        The topic question is..."
        What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?" Now, if we're considering whether or not our words or actions may hurt someone else, and/or if we're coming from a place of empathy, which you bring up, that is another filter....a different filter. Is our concern hurting someone else? Or is our concern being judged? Two different things, both of which may guide our words and actions.

        I don't "walk around measuring words and thinking what will people think of me if I do this or that". You mention one important factor...honesty with our "self". When/if we know our "self", we are not "thinking" about this all the time. We are "being" what we know in our heart is respectful, accepting and joyful to our "self", and hopefully to others as well.
  • thumb
    Dec 30 2011: I wanna be a time traveller.
  • thumb
    Jan 4 2012: fire my clients.
  • Dec 30 2011: I would not have married my first husband. At that time our oldest child was 9 months and we were expected to get married. But in my heart I knew it was not meant to last. I even remember rolling my eyes when the preacher said "to honor and obey" I was disgusted by that thought. So if I would not have been judged I would have stayed unwed with my son.
    • thumb
      Dec 30 2011: you remind me of myself 4 years ago when i was about to get married with my ex-boyfriend who is also the father of my 2 kids. i have always wanted to get married then since i was blinded by the thought that marriage could save our relationship. i am just way glad that i did not for i know that it could be a lifetime nightmare to be with someone who doesn't respect my worth in the first place.