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joy faber

recycling artist, Read "Write" Literacy of Torrance County

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Do you think marriage, as a social commitment device, still works? Or did it ever work?

I'd like to see what people think of marriage as a social commitment device.

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  • Dec 22 2011: I really have a problem with women having to change their names for marriage. Suddenly they are no longer attached to their own "tribe" and have to create a new identity with a foreign name. It forces women to erase their whole past when they marry and start over with their husband's name as though they were always a part of that family. My current name is Larson and I've had people try to establish what "Larson" I'm from and when I tell them that women tend to "collect" names they are offended. I was offended that they didn't ask my maiden name to know who I really am.
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        Dec 23 2011: You do realize that is arbitrary and not universal, right? Otherwise there would be no matriarchal societies anywhere.

        There's no inherent biological reason for this -- it is only a product of the way most men's minds work.
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        Dec 24 2011: Wrong. Matrilineality (the flower carrying the lineage of the "pot") has nothing to do with promiscuity.

        Where do you come up with this crap? Have you ever read a book?
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      Dec 23 2011: My personal observation is that that is shifting with the advent of the Internet (it was already shifting before). The sudden realization that you cannot be found by your early peers is causing women to hyphenate, drop the change, and/or just not change in the first place.
    • Dec 24 2011: I like the idea of having a family (last) name. I have no connection to my last name, so I'd gladly drop it for another. However, if I liked my last name or used it as the name people called me, I wouldn't want to drop it. As it stands, though, men are more likely to be called by their last names.
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      Dec 26 2011: I am newly remarried at 50 yrs and did not take his name. I felt as if I'd be giving up my identity, what I'm known by. I think he was a little hurt but he understood. I really like what you said here; "when I tell them that women tend to "collect" names they are offended. I was offended that they didn't ask my maiden name to know who I really am." This is so true.
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        . . 100+

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        Dec 26 2011: Congratulations Joy!!!! Wishing you steady happiness.
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      Dec 27 2011: You don't have to be a Larson or anything else. Just change your name back to your maiden name. Or something you like even better.

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