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Valerie Netto

Horse Trainer Riding Instructor, American Riding Instructors Association

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How would we treat each other if we were not controlled by a need to be right?

We all have areas of life that we are passionate about like religion, politics and horse training. We all think we are right, marriages end, families are torn apart and through history we have died trying to prove it. Why, and if the saying "would you rather be right or would you rather be happy" appeals to so many of us why do we cling so tenaciously to the need to be right? HINT:
E veryone
G oes
O verboard

Topics: polotics religion
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    Dec 24 2011: Hi Colleen.
    I think that limits come from fear. Fear of the void, fear of unknown ...

    When we are full of fears wetry to reassure ourself by being determined to show how far we're right.

    It can lead us to be agressive to despotic.

    Trying to be right is a way to have a strong direction, a kind of rope we don't want to let go, anxious about what could happen to us.

    Talking with you Colleen lead me to realize that trying to be right is more than having convictions : it's trying to impose them so to make sure that, soon, another person will think like us. Which seems to reassure us a lot, but which is also a neverending process.

    In a way, trying to be right is proportional to our level of anxiety. Poor dictators ...

    Looking at your profile seems to validate a bit my vision : because of your near death experience, you, Colleen, are not afraid anymore. You had let it go, focusing on living deeply each second of your life.

    By being open hearted/minded, you accept life and all the opportunities it can bring to you. You accept differences, changes etc... As a consequence, it seems that you design your life like a learning process that leads every of your relatives to participate to an increasing collective intelligence

    That's a great class you're giving to us Colleen. Thanks for the gift ;-).
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      Dec 25 2011: Dear Laurent,
      Thank you for your very kind words and perception.

      I agree that fear of the unknown limits us in many ways, one of which is trying to prove we are "right" so we don't have to face the unknown! In doing that, however, we are "anxious", and we hold onto that rope and don't let go, as you insightfully say. It is our "safety rope"...or so we think:>) The only thing it does, is limits us and we deprive ourselves of information...seems silly to me!

      I believe we can have convictions, without trying to convince everyone else that our convictions are the "right" ones...good point! I agree..."trying to be "right" is proportional to our level of anxiety". That gives us information about a person we are conversing with early in the interaction.

      Yes, I firmly believe that life is a learning process that can be a "collective" adventure...it's a choice:>)

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