TED Conversations

Valerie Netto

Horse Trainer Riding Instructor, American Riding Instructors Association

This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

How would we treat each other if we were not controlled by a need to be right?

We all have areas of life that we are passionate about like religion, politics and horse training. We all think we are right, marriages end, families are torn apart and through history we have died trying to prove it. Why, and if the saying "would you rather be right or would you rather be happy" appeals to so many of us why do we cling so tenaciously to the need to be right? HINT:
E veryone
G oes
O verboard

Topics: polotics religion
+16
Share:

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • Dec 21 2011: I would much rather enter into a conversation with someone who needs to be right than someone who doesn't care. Not caring one way or the other leaves you nothing to debate or learn from.
    • thumb
      Dec 21 2011: I have to say, I abhor apathy as well. I may get frustrated with people who seem to be closed-minded and stubborn about something, but those debates are the ones I always remember.
      • thumb
        Dec 22 2011: Lori and Gina....

        Like anything else, I would suggest that it's all about balance. I remember hearing once that there is nothing more dangerous on this planet than the person who's 100%, absolutely sure that they are Right :-)
    • thumb
      Dec 22 2011: I agree apathy is the most frustrating, but someone who insists on being right also has a flaw- what Carol Dweck calls a fixed mindset. I believe there is a third option- someone who engages in passionate dialogue with an open, or growth (Dweck), mindset. I think we would treat each other with much greater respect and empathy if we all worked on having a growth mindset (not saying I'm right- just my opinion).
    • thumb
      Dec 22 2011: Is it really the case that if you don't wish to engage with a ego strong person that your are then apathetic. The Thai Chi masters teach one to not stand in resistance but to step out of the way of power and guide it away from you. It is easy to perceive an ego strong individual in the act of "being right". Why bother with such a person mirroring back the act of being right in an engagement of a power. There is much to learn from the Universe without engaging in a struggle for rightness.

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.