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Is happiness an emergent property?
Can we become happier? Do others make us happy? Or unhappy for that matter? Is it in our control? Or are we victims of circumstance?
Is happiness like romantic love - in that if we try too hard and want it too much it escapes us? Is Dan Gilbert right in that we stumble upon it - or Srikumar Rao in suggesting it just a revealing process? Or maybe they both are?
Jon Yeo 500+
I believe happiness comes from a DECISION inside. However, there are many palpable influences each individual to the experiencer. Surely something so individual must come from inside?
Yubal Masalker 100+
It's the same principle with Happiness. So the question is what's the "Right" thing that should occur for having prolonged & authentic happiness ??
I think the only thing that can bring authentic and ever-lasting happiness, is approaching as close as possible to truth. Now, many might say that truth can be subjective, culture-bound, indefinable, multiple, etc. That's right. So each one can begin to try approaching the truth as one sees it. The final test is how happy one begins to feel and if ones happiness is permanent or temporary. But it's not either-or question. Meaning one does not require to absolutely touching the very truth in order to feel true happiness. The degree of ones happiness and its quality depend upon the degree of ones closeness to the truth. Any single & genuine step towards the truth is also one step higher in the feeling of true happiness. The impact is directly proportional and immediate.
If this is an accurate analysis, then it's clear that happiness is also a side effect of the truth – a very high-class side effect. But this also explains why the search for happiness as a stand-alone, independent entity is wrong and can never succeed. What should be searched is the truth, not happiness. Happiness will emerge spontaneously as soon as one really comes closer to truth. Happiness is an inevitable side effect of truth.
Exactly in the same manner also Love should not be searched as a stand-alone, independent entity. What should be searched is a suitable, matching partner for each individually, as Love is a side effect of the interaction with such a matching partner.
Petra Carrington
I agree with your analysis that one can not search for happiness or love and expect to find it. In my mind only if we can find peace in the acknowledgement of both happiness and sadness and dealing with both in a constructive way, by trying to improve our own and what we perceive to be the suffering of others, are we on a true path to a meaningful and blissful (happy) existence.
Brett Shockley
In the NFL, for a while they were doing instant replays for any questionable play. This obviously got them closer the the truth, however it interrupted the flow of the game and the fans found it less enjoyable. So now they have replays on a more limited basis. This is further from the absolute truth, but more enjoyable for the fans.
Also, what about the statement that "ignorance is bliss". While that's not something I aspire to, I have certainly seen situations where a truth has made me more unhappy than happy.
I do agree with your statement about happiness being a by-product and cannot be searched for directly.
Yubal Masalker 100+
Before I write what I think can truly bring more lasting happiness, I shall specify one more mistake which many make when searching for happiness. The mistake is actually the very SEARCH itself. Because true happiness is not an object to be searched. By embarking for such a search, one gets finally obsessive for finding it, and this fundamentally undermines the possibility to become happy. It's the same with Love. So many people are in quest after Love, but true Love seems to evade them. Because, Love like Happiness, are not objects which can be searched and found and kept in our lockers.
It's like searching for other feelings like anger, sadness, etc. These feelings are authentic and pure when they rise due to the "Right" event. If we consider sadness, it's truly authentic, suppose, when we lose somebody of our own close family. But if one of our colleagues at work loses someone of his own family, we sympathize him and go to visit him and console him, but we don't feel as much sad as we feel when we lose somebody of our own family. Sometimes we even feel a kind of guilt when we don't feel sad enough when one of our friends lose someone close to him. Then we try to create (to search) some more inner sadness inside us for our friend, but usually it's a futile attempt. So what can be seen here is that there's a need for a truly "Right" thing to happen to create authentic feelings inside us. The other important thing to be noticed here is that these feelings do not exist independently by their own, but they come as side effects to certain events or things.
Continued on my next comment……
Daniel Eagle
Edit: I'd like to add an excerpt from Alexander Pope's "Essay on Man." He's one of my favorite poets:
All Nature is but Art, unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see
All discord, harmony not understood,
All partial evil, universal good:
And, spite of pride, in erring reason's spite,
One truth is clear, whatever is, is right.
Yaga Bialski
We don't pursue laughter (although they are laughing clubs), we do not seek funny, unless you are comedian, but when we look at life with a joyous heart we suddenly have great sense of humor! And then things are funny and then we laugh. Not the other way around.
The words to boggle your mind and send you on the path of destruction (like chase of happiness) are found in religious texts, political declarations, laws and constitutions.
Stay away from it.
Find what you love, work on it, become good at it, do it every day and one day you will know your purpose, you will be fulfilled... and voila! YOU WILL BE HAPPY!!!
Nicholas Cristella
Alexandra Innes
Others "make us" relatively happy. I say "make us" because actually outside stimuli activate whatever we already have inside us. You already have it inside you as a potential.
Absolute happiness, on the other hand, is self-created. It's the simple clear joy of being alive. We sometimes call it happy for no reason.
We're victims of circumstance if we see it that way. But we can move from victim to victor. A section from my e-book, As You THINK So You Are, says:
"Circumstances will batter you as long as you believe yourself to be a victim created by outside conditions. But when you realize that you are a creator, and you have creative power, you can redirect the “thought-seeds” of your mind — out of which circumstances grow. "
Finally, happiness is a by-product. It comes from challenging yourself and growing, from strengthening and deepening your character, from caring about other people, and from comunity building.
Gyoung Sook Ahn
I became much much happier than before because I found out there are so many many good and smart people in this ONE EARTH.
If we try to share good ideas and make this world a good place to live, we can become happier.
Mrityunjay Awasthy
Yes, happiness does imply "others". Nothing can proceed and prosper in isolation. People make people everything they can be. People reflect on people, somewhat like Hegel's hypothesis and anti-hypothesis. It is through exchange, we know about belonging, what is us and what is other. Reflecting on us (for our mind to know and understand) is primary advantage of interaction at all levels. Society, for an individual is WYSIWYG, the most unfit shall challenge and change or parish. This way, society is next level of organism human have attained, just like human with its mind is next level of life all organs involved have attained.
Petra Carrington
Happiness is a frail state of mind and I don’t think anybody can make us happy, but others/their actions can trigger moments of happiness, as anything we truly appreciate for whatever reason can. We also don’t know happiness without appreciating despair. Happiness and sadness are fleeting, whereas contentment and depression arguably impact us to a greater degree.
If we are overly content we are at risk to become complacent, self-righteous, and stagnate, failing to learn and grow. If we are depressed we become small and weak. Deriving value from both experiences does not make me necessarily happier, but I like to think that I am more aware.
Sarina Hannon
Perhaps, what made him unique was that he didn't fear unhappiness. I like what you said about too much contentment leading to complacency, self-righteous feelings, lack of improvement. That is so so true. What i found incredible was that this person, the happiest I knew, he sought out unhappy people. He changed people's lives, but he never belittled their perspectives. I wish I could say I completely understood what he did and how he did it. What I can say... thanks to him, I know it exists! ;)
Petra Carrington
The only question I would raise is that if sadness and suffering is part of the human experience, can we be happy and compassionate?
Thanks :)
Wayne Busby 30+
I find it interesting that situations (inside and outside of human interrelations) that are disruptive to the status quo can make us feel sad. It doesn't have to be what we might typically think of as something bad i.e. a crime committed against oneself, it could be something as simple as not being able to buy your favorite bag of Mrs. Vicky's salt and vinegar chips from the grocer who has stocked it faithfully since before you can remember.
Sarina, I think that your friend has exactly the most mature (evolved) and productive approach. Pragmatic Spirituality.
Nothing has any power over him other than what he gives to it. He chooses to look at his situations as opportunities for positive and constructive growth in what ever aspect of his being that growth can take place.
It is important, I think to support, cherish and emulate such attitudes (and the persons bearing them) because they bring life; respectful of the pain in the journey, cognizant of the lessons therein yet capable of enduring into eternity.
Thank you for sharing.
Raheel Lakhani
Luca De Biase 50+
Geof Case
Jon Snyder
Adam Burk 500+
How do philosophical approaches such as Buddhism, allow us to approach this question? If life is suffering how can we experience happiness? From this approach, happiness comes through the release of attachment. Attachment to polarity, grounding one's criteria for happiness because either a condition is present or absent. How far does biology play into this? Can we most readily experience happiness when our biological needs have been met and we are in the absence of pain?
Is happiness the wrong goose to chase? Should we rather be defining satisfaction? How can we be satisfied with our life despite fluctuating moods? It is inevitable that we will experience sadness, grief, anger, and frustration, satisfaction provides a measure that can thread through all of these experiences, whereas happiness is either present or absent, is it not?
Petra Carrington
I don't think one can be satisfied without knowing happiness.
Adam Burk 500+
"Understanding the nature of change, changes the nature of understanding." -Gola Wolf Richards
E G 10+
Sarina Hannon
Are you referring to power at another's expense?
Perhaps I'm missing something. Explain :) I'm interested!
E G 10+
Lydia Loizides 100+
Adam Burk 500+
There is no consciousness without contrast. Confucius describes the Chung Yung or "unwobbling pivot" in the "Doctrine of the Mean." It is an unshakeable center that one develops through contemplation. Thus when we are experiencing any heightened emotion, we are simultaneously centered in the awareness that change is the only constant. To be comfortable in this understanding is inner peace or contentment as you name it.
"Understanding the nature of change, changes the nature of understanding." -Gola Wolf Richards
Codruta Marin
Carlos Hernández da Silva
Carlos Hernández da Silva
At first i thought that it was something natural and irracional but being happy or unhappy is much more than that, i bet that everyone in the world believes in bad days and good days, everyone believes that the world is ruled by problems, work and the "president". Yes that's right, i said it because the world exists for everyone and everyone has their own reality in the same space so we must share that space
In conclusion i think that to be happy we need to empty our minds, forget the good things and the bad things and fill that empty space with our dreams, our moments of happpiness.
Enjoy every single second of life because that´s why we're here. I'am the living proof that if we clear our minds happinnes will automatically reach us and spread like a disease.
Hugs from Portugal :D
Sarina Hannon
My jaw dropped at your advice in all honesty; it makes such clear sense. I had realized(vaguely) that holding tightly to the good things invokes fear of losing them. They become a vulnerability instead of actually helping people become happy. It almost seemed a paradox.
"Fill the space with our dreams, our moments of happiness." that's essentially what people TRY to do by holding on to 'good things,' but it hurts them and leaves them vulnerable, because good things are always in danger of being lost. You said that so eloquently, and so understandable. Thank you Carlos.
haha! Hugs from the United States! =]
James Cullumber
Codruta Marin
And yes, if we hang around positive ppl we are positive and things like that, and the energy level is higher - but does that mean that we are happier? Not necessarily, because if we stop spending time with them, and are left on our own, we become sad.
I think I idealize happiness a little bit, but then we all do. Happiness is being true to yourself and have that feeling that even if everything you know and everyone you know disappears tomorrow, you can still, somehow, figure out a way to live and enjoy what you have/are doing.
Sarina Hannon
I like your point that there is an enduring type of happiness. I also think though that the moment to moment happiness is real and important. But one, kindof of leads to another, doesn't it? :)
"What is the point of life, if you do not have moments everyday to laugh with, moments you can love tenderly and unconditionally in memory."
I love love love your last point, "if everything you know and everyone you know disappears..." brilliant. Really shows you what is important, doesn't it? even in death.
Sarina Hannon
The happiest person I ever knew had absolutely no reason to be. His outlook still fascinates me.
Like you say, if we can create this happiness consciously and authentically... wow.
It sounds kind of silly, but search wikipedia for a subject you hate, one that bores you to tears. You will find evidence of a group of people entirely enthralled and passionate. It seems normal, (to each his own, right?) but its rather incredible when you think that that drastic difference in emotion is simply due to perspective(a perspective you can gain!). You may know every fact on that page, but you are still missing something they understand, right? :)
I like to imagine a way to translate that appreciation. That is the next revolution in social networking :) Across time, across language: translate perspective so people really understand. I think the world would change socially in a flash. all for the happier and more respectful ;)
Codruta Marin
''The happiest person I ever knew had absolutely no reason to be.'' - that's exactly right. I have met a lot of people that are happy and seem to have less reasons than me to be so. That's why I respect them, and their strength, to be who they are no matter what the outside world tells them. It's mind-boggling that they can find pleasure in so many things where I take that pleasure for granted...I wish there was a way to go back to reality and learn to be GRATEFUL for everything we have and we've accomplished in our lives. And make sure we're grateful but not complacent, and that we work to do better and be better every second of our life.
Revett Eldred 10+
Sarina Hannon
Debra Smith 100+
Sarina Hannon
but the second happiest person I ever met was a homeless woman.
I think that the correlation may have to do with how productive we feel, how competent we feel, and how others react to us. How we think about our chances to succeed. I don't think money (or power) actually leads to happiness. I think the things closely linked to money alter our happiness.
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Nic Marks 100+
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Rory File
Nic Marks 100+
Chris Ke-Sihai 200+
You might like this one too: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/4783836.stm
Sarina Hannon
Roy Kizzia
I could go to my death on the gallows happy if I work hard enough at it. I could also bitch and moan all the way to the bank because I only won $20 million in the lottery (theoretically). I get to choose, and you get to choose.
Laurens Rademakers 50+
Now you guys are going to suffer and pay me big time.
Chris Ke-Sihai 200+
But on the other hand, my dog is happy most of the time and he doesn't work at it. It just happens to him. I know people who use some form of drug to achieve happiness, and again it's a case of happiness being something they 'get' rather than work for. Maybe it's unhappiness, to some degree, that inspires us to make change in our lives and our situation? And 'true' happiness is the result of those changes?
Incidentally, someone suggested to me once that "pursuit" in the phrase "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" refers to an activity rather than chasing something. ie 'leisure pursuit"
Good question, whatever the answer!
Sherri Griffin 50+
Now let's not call out the guards with straight jackets just yet, I don't mean to say that I only experience happiness, nor am I saying I am happy when things are sad or simply suck. But I do mean to say that in most instances I can find happiness sitting on the sideline watching us, and I've noticed happiness has an open door policy that invites us to walk in and embrace it. I've also noticed that happiness flourishes in absence of judgement.
Paul Van der Werf
Can it be more about less unhappiness and less about more happiness. I feel happiness is a transitional feeling that changes from moment to moment throughout the day. For example, I can have happiness driving home (thinking about spending time with the family), arrive happy and check the mail and find a bill to pay. At that point I am less happy than the moment before but no unhappy.
If we were to have less unhappiness, would the moments of happiness last longer, resulting in "more" happiness? Or is it about the levels of happiness?
Petra Carrington
Is happiness measurable? It depends on how you define it, I would say not, but contentment or satisfaction can be scaled. A score of contentment and satisfaction that is always very high, may leave us self-righteous and without desire to learn and develop. It would also indicate that one is very self-centered simply because the external world demands compassion for nature, for humanity - compassion is hence a form of suffering.
Gabriela Ybarra