TED Conversations

Richard Danziger


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What conversation do you wish your parents(Dad or Mom) had had with you?

Some people are just better at things that others. That's great for the "us" that can learn from the "them".

My dad and mom just were. They did not tell me things. They did not teach me life lessons verbally. They just were. I had to learn from watching and being in their presence. It had some substantial effect to be sure, but wouldn't it be cool if all you great thinkers could tell the rest of us what 's important to tell you kids. And would it not be just as cool for the Kids to ask their Dad and/or Mom to tell them these cool things?


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    Dec 4 2011: I wish my mum had told me that it was ok to fail. She's an extremely hard worker and has sacrificed because of it. If she failed a goal then she had let herself down and beat herself up over it - unfortunately she expected me to do the same. I've learnt now that if I don't succeed in what I originally set out to do then it's ok because I tried and I've still progressed...but it would've saved me a lot of heartache and insecurity issues if she had helped me understand this.
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      Dec 5 2011: Thanks for your brilliant answer. I know you're onto something very good. First off, one would have to define for themselves what is a failure, then whether it matters greatly, mildly or not very much at all. For whom are you attempting to not fail? If it's you, you get to revisit your criteria as often as you like. If it's for another person or entity, be kind to yourself. Perfection is over rated and other than in brain surgery not that big a deal.

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