This conversation is closed.

Is it possible to not have friends in life?

Being jealous of your girlfriends friends because you got no friends

  • Nov 27 2011: Certainly it is possible and there are many examples....solitary monks on the one hand and many senior citizens as well, that would tend to be a small percentage. Is it normal, yes and no. By nature humans are gregarious cooperative beings but that does not (obviously) apply to all and there is no norm. True friends, of which most of us have only a few, tend to be far and few between. Being jealous, at any age, is an absurd emotion. Examine it for a minute..(in the context of what I suspect your question might be)...what are you doing to yourself other than wasting time and practicing self pity? Would not that time be better spent living as opposed to regretting? And in the final analysis wouldn't an honest self appraisal be more appropriate if friends were what you sought....just thoughts.
  • Nov 28 2011: um yes, i'm mean and bitter, i dont have friends, jk (sorta)question to the question: are friends determined by your outlook on them or their outlook on you?if its yours to them then very much so yes,if its them onto you then no, i dont know, and doesn't look like you make people be or not be your friend
    • Nov 29 2011: Zack, meeting people is a difficult thing for me. I don't know what to say or start a conversation most of the time. But its mainly the outlook on me I always get frustrated of. Its like being judged upon but then again sometimes I don't care what people think. So im trying to make some friends where i live and see what happens. thanks for the comment
      • Nov 29 2011: i find friends are easiest to make thru an activity or "icebreaker" (usually the icebreaker has to do with yourself, example: freshman year in high school i dyed my hair bright yellow blond before school, made tons of friends even with the people who hated my hair, because it was different and people wanted to comment on it, one guy said that he wanted me to stay that way because then i looked diff then all the other white boys in school.) activities are best when everyone has to be uncomfortable. activities can be anything(see the video on TED about Improv Everywhere? the woman makes a connection and feels more comfortable when she shares the akward experience with the people in front of her, by making everyone akward you force them to deal with the situation by connecting with others) so make friends by joining a theatre class, they are most willing to be friends because to be a sucsessful actor you must learn about others as much as you learn about yourself. do things that force people together that cannot be done alone. join a life group at church (careful to choose a church that is honest and trully christ-like, even if your not christian a life group will set sparks, most of my friends have been made over arguments(debates that had rules to be clear) this was good because i limited the friends i made down to only the people who could find disagreement and be fine afterward)
  • Nov 28 2011: Hey Stephen thanks for the comment and word of advice. I told myself today that I don't want to waste no more time being friendless and getting so jealous. I want to actually live a life instead of wallowing through it. Your true about wasting time and practicing self pity for sure, my girlfriend always tells me this but I never listen. Thank you so much for giving me some advice and looking how I can spend my time on better things. Ill let you know how its working out.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
  • Nov 28 2011: Thanks for the comment, I know my question lacks the aspect. Ever since I graduated high school, I have difficulty of making friends. Hard enough to say but I basically closed myself from the other people and life for 2 years. Then I might this girl and she is way different from me but the connection between us is so great. She is like my other side of me. The stupid side of me got really jealous and depressed every time a male would talk to her. Jealousy is such a bad thing in my life and I just want some help to control or forget about the feeling. Im trying to talk to other people and actually interacting with them. I just need to make friends and the only way is being interactive and keeping them over time.
    Well thanks for listening and commenting too. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I just got a lot on my mind/
    • thumb
      Nov 28 2011: Hi Tommy. Jealousy is, more often than not, about our own self-esteem and insecurity rather than about the other person; we project it onto them. If you felt more secure, you would not feel so jealous. I suggest talking to your girlfriend and telling her that you need reassurance from time to time to help you cope with your insecurity/jealousy. Over time, you will need reassurance less and less: she needs to know this, otherwise she will think you need constant reassurance and it will lead to fighting and resentment. For yourself, do things you are good at to boost your self-confidence. Try to include your girlfriend so she sees your strengths and you grow closer. Just my thoughts from my own experience. Again, best of luck.
  • thumb
    Nov 28 2011: Your use of the word "girlfriend" implies that you have at least one friend. Your question lacks a temporal aspect: “Is it possible to not have friends in life?” In my personal experience it is possible to go through periods “in life” without a close, personal friend. But this state usually resolves itself, even if only temporarily, throughout the course of your life. Try reflecting on times in your life when you did have friends; if there was such a time. Witnessing your girlfriend’s friendships, you see the interchange which nurtures such connections. If you feel unable to replicate such connectivity with people in your own life, perhaps you can “not have friends in life.” If you do want friends in life, but have difficulties achieving and maintaining relationships, perhaps you should pose a new question. Best of luck, and see someone about your depression before it worsens.