Rong Rong

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In what way do you get self-confidence? Or how do you become more confident?

If you are a confident person,I need your answer desperately.If not,it doesn't matter,you can think about it and make a plan.

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    Nov 25 2011: Non-Self confident people often takes too much into account how people look at them or seem to judge them. which is a vicious circle because one thing people dislike is non-self-confident people as they seem less reliable.

    I had just a discussion this noon with an overweight very nice friend who dislikes the look of the people when for instance he takes his commuting train. We told him : don't care. If they don't feel comfortable with you, this is their problem, it has not to be yours. When my arm hitches, do you feel the need to scratch yours?

    It is not about becoming selfish. It is about being just with you. Don't depreciate yourself. If you think you need to improve yourself in some domain, well just do it. Work it out. Be proud of each step on this path. and - virtuous circle - this will add self confidence in you.

    For your second question I globally become more self confident because I doubt and question a lot, I look behind and look in front of me, I can wee where I've been, I'm better now, and I can make it yet better, so I still have tings to improve and fill my life. And if some days are worse than others, well, globally, these are little incidents, no big deals....
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      Nov 26 2011: I'm wondering ''Self confident people often takes too much into account how people look at them or seem to judge them. '' no,if you're confident enough you won't care how others judge you because you have your own standard.But you're right people dislike people who is lack of confidence ,because they themselves are among them.
      Your nice friend dislike the look of the people,in fact,what he hated was a shadow of his own idea.If he did feel uncomfortable,I think he should have stood up to the people and said''HI, what's wrong with your damn look!?''then he would feel better.I like this'' When my arm hitches, do you feel the need to scratch yours?'',well if i knew i would help you to scratch haha.
      Confidence comes from efforts.It's the warmest and coldest thing that life gives you.
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        Nov 26 2011: Oh, If forgot a word: See the fixed text.
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        Nov 27 2011: Ya... I hate to be the evil one, but in that particular case, his lack of self confidence stemmed from objective reality. He wishes he excercised more, but having other people make him think that, makes him angry at them. A certain degree of objective awesomeness is required for real self confidence as well. You have to read, stay healthy, have some way of contributing to society that gives you joy, you have to be honest...

        Once you have the basic foundation for being a good person however... It's about just understanding that no one is perfect, and that you are as good as anyone ever has been. Einstein? You have way more access to information than he ever could have comprehended... You're the cutting edge in evolution... We're all really quite impressive... the ones of us that don't just sit around beating ourselves up : p
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    Nov 24 2011: in every way with a good-preparation, and still, supporting with hopes and pray. I believe it will not just make you get more confidence, but also create a perfection :)
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    Nov 24 2011: admit your weaknesses and thank God for His blessings. never think in pessimist way, be in positive way of thinking in everything.
    You can when you believe it. belief always wins! ;)
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    Nov 25 2011: I have a very unusual approach to this... but... Just look around... Look at the way human beings live their lives. Look at our history... We are stupid, emotional, vengeful, and dishonest creatures. There is never anything to be ashamed of, and there is never any reason to think that someone else has a deeper understanding of something than you do... until they prove it. If something is proved to you, learn it, and evolve.

    There is absolutely nothing more a human being can do. No one else is doing something different. We're all just trying our best... So you might as well think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread.

    "Something is neither good, nor evil, but thinking makes it so" William Shakespeare.... Addendum "Think, I'm Awesome"... Me.
  • Nov 24 2011: What often helps is the 'first success'.

    My confidence centers around my ability to make things: computer programs, art projects, stories, music, inventions.
    It all starts with the first difficult steps: to really commit to a project and see it through.
    I think that when you do something you truly love and are passionate about, you begin to forget your concerns with your ability to do something, and focus about the action itself.

    My advice is to find a hobby/passion, and lose yourself in it.
    Cooking, art, music, building things, giving people advise, etc.

    Then you can draw from your achievements for confidence.

    I really hope that this helps.
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    Nov 24 2011: if you dont have self confidence, you can develop it by understanding why you arent confident. the easiest and the only long term way to shift your self confidence is to reprogram your subconcious mind. you have to understand yourself. the subconcious mind makes up the majority of our brains 85-90%, it effects all of our actions and thoughts without us even knowing it. its pretty much an anchor that we use to associate new learned experiences to. this is the reason people are so vastly different, this is the reason two people can be in the exact same situation and have completely different perceptions of it. our minds learn 95-97% of all the learning patterns we will ever learn throughout our entire lifetime by the age of 8. these patterns make us more suceptible to pick out and understand certain things. i could go on and on abut this, i recommend that you listen to a few audiobooks(borrow them from the library) , i recomend dan araily, jack canfield, there are others but it gets a little deep from here. but do a little research on budhhism and philosophy you'll find answers there too. itll help if you understand a bit more about brain development, the illusion of truth effect and alot of the new sciences that are emerging. if you cant affort hypnotherapy, logic is the way out! --goodluck :)
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