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Rong Rong

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In what way do you get self-confidence? Or how do you become more confident?

If you are a confident person,I need your answer desperately.If not,it doesn't matter,you can think about it and make a plan.

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    Nov 25 2011: Non-Self confident people often takes too much into account how people look at them or seem to judge them. which is a vicious circle because one thing people dislike is non-self-confident people as they seem less reliable.

    I had just a discussion this noon with an overweight very nice friend who dislikes the look of the people when for instance he takes his commuting train. We told him : don't care. If they don't feel comfortable with you, this is their problem, it has not to be yours. When my arm hitches, do you feel the need to scratch yours?

    It is not about becoming selfish. It is about being just with you. Don't depreciate yourself. If you think you need to improve yourself in some domain, well just do it. Work it out. Be proud of each step on this path. and - virtuous circle - this will add self confidence in you.

    For your second question I globally become more self confident because I doubt and question a lot, I look behind and look in front of me, I can wee where I've been, I'm better now, and I can make it yet better, so I still have tings to improve and fill my life. And if some days are worse than others, well, globally, these are little incidents, no big deals....
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      Nov 26 2011: I'm wondering ''Self confident people often takes too much into account how people look at them or seem to judge them. '' no,if you're confident enough you won't care how others judge you because you have your own standard.But you're right people dislike people who is lack of confidence ,because they themselves are among them.
      Your nice friend dislike the look of the people,in fact,what he hated was a shadow of his own idea.If he did feel uncomfortable,I think he should have stood up to the people and said''HI, what's wrong with your damn look!?''then he would feel better.I like this'' When my arm hitches, do you feel the need to scratch yours?'',well if i knew i would help you to scratch haha.
      Confidence comes from efforts.It's the warmest and coldest thing that life gives you.
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        Nov 26 2011: Oh, If forgot a word: See the fixed text.
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        Nov 27 2011: Ya... I hate to be the evil one, but in that particular case, his lack of self confidence stemmed from objective reality. He wishes he excercised more, but having other people make him think that, makes him angry at them. A certain degree of objective awesomeness is required for real self confidence as well. You have to read, stay healthy, have some way of contributing to society that gives you joy, you have to be honest...

        Once you have the basic foundation for being a good person however... It's about just understanding that no one is perfect, and that you are as good as anyone ever has been. Einstein? You have way more access to information than he ever could have comprehended... You're the cutting edge in evolution... We're all really quite impressive... the ones of us that don't just sit around beating ourselves up : p

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