Ibrahim Abougendy

Founder & CEO, Current- TEDxPortSaid


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Should everyone of us fear the moment when he achieves his biggest dream ? How will his life be after achieving the ultimate dream?

For Example, setting your dream to be the CEO of the Biggest IT Company in the Globe... to Reach the moon ... Whatever Impossible dream you dream about.

What if you achieved it ?
How would your life be then?
Desperate ?
Encouraged ?

Actually, I don't know the answer, do you?

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    Nov 16 2011: There is nothing to fear but fear itself. We were born as humans to succeed despite doubt from others. I believe if you're truly working toward achieving a dream for self betterment and improving the world, fearing your moment of success shouldn't be an option. Operating from the desire of social acceptance will lead to fear of that special moment, due to the fact everyone has an opinion......always remember....we write our own life stories.
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      Nov 16 2011: "I believe if you're truly working toward achieving a dream for self betterment and improving the world,"
      I think that's VISION , not a Goal :)

      That's why, it's probably vision that will get us out of the Question. Vision is applicable anywhere, anytime, even when you achieve your dream,
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      Nov 16 2011: Well said Kent.

      Your comment reminds me of this:
      "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
      (Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles)
      I believe Nelson Mandela quoted this in a speach, and credit is often given to him.

      To me, the word God does not refer to an individual entity, but rather, to the energy that powers and connects all of us as human beings.
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        Nov 16 2011: Queen ,

        I like this so much " We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us"

        Liberating from Fear is good, it makes you more comfortable with your life.I mean, but we have to have the positive side of Fear that makes us wok harder, and harder.

        I myself asked this question not in order to Sophisticate my way towards my goal, I asked it in order to be aware of the complexity of the feeling that gets to the ACHIEVERS when they reach out to their bright goals, Hoping that one day I will reach mine. If God help me to do so, and I know he will :) (We say it "Insh'Allah")

        Queen, Your comments are always enlightening , Thank you
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          Nov 17 2011: Hello King Ibrahim:>)
          Yes, if only we could all shine and explore life with the curiosity and unconditional love of children, what a wonderful world this would be!

          If we can recognize fear in ourselves and genuinely explore all parts of the fear in relation to our "self", it offers the opportunity to motivate us. If we hang onto fear, or live a life dominated by fear, however, it simply gets in our way. We can find the balance, and use fear as a tool, just as we use other emotions to learn about our "self" and others.

          Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your insight as well King Ibrahim:>)
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        Nov 22 2011: That was beautiful Colleen!
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          Nov 27 2011: Thank you James,
          I am simply passing on information:>)
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    Nov 11 2011: Certainly not. Instead they should beam with confidence and the knowledge that now they can build on it, reach a higher goal or use their experience to help others to reach their goal.
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      Nov 12 2011: But , Suppose that there is no Bigger goals ?

      Example, I dream at being the King of the Universe, and It Happened ?
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        Nov 12 2011: It depends on what you expect the outcome of being King of the Universe to be.

        If you expect it will make you happy (and you are not already happy,) you will be disappointed.

        If you simply expect to be King of The Universe, you will find out what that is like at which point you can make other choices if you like.

        The goal-setting/big dream paradigm is based on a formula:

        "This" + "That" = "The Other Thing"

        Typically, we do not REALLY know what the "The Other Thing" is; and, as a result, we can only guess what "This" is.

        Don't even get me started on "That!"
      • Nov 16 2011: Your questions are valid. I can say the mind behaves as a "Strange loop" . Some loops never end.
        You always will find more questions and possible answers related to the future but Is that what you really want?!. Don't let, the fear to be wrong, drag You into a loop without end.
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    Nov 11 2011: Hello Ibrahim,
    I know MY answer...what is YOUR answer?

    For me, the process is as important, or maybe MORE important than the end result. So reaching a goal, or achieving a dream, is part of the process, and I would feel the same after reaching the goal as I did during the process. I look at life as I look at climbing a mountain. We climb and reach altitude, then maybe reach a plateau where we can rest and re-energize for awhile, then we are climbing again. All of the process is enjoyable....IF...we percieve it in that light:>) There is nothing to fear, but fear itself:>)

    I LOVE Egypt by the way. Although there are not many mountains, I did a certain amount of physical and emotional "climbing" while there:>)
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    Nov 15 2011: Sorry to be the critic but I believe that there is no such thing as a highest dream, and if one achieves their highest dream then their purpose is basically finished. We live in a world that is dynamic and ever changing, not one that is static there will continually be greater, higher, brighter, and better dreams out there because individuals like you, me, and the other TEDsters will continue to innovate and will definitely have ideas that are worth spreading!
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      Nov 16 2011: I would disagree, I think having a BIGGEST dream , and imagining every moment that could please you when we you achieve your dream is the way that specialists help people in their Goal setting, and that's the core of the problem I am thinking about.

      ALSO, Dream's BIggereness is somehow relative, where no one can deny or assure it 100%

      People whom set a goal driven by severe emotions when they have set this goal. They would feel spirirt absence after they reach that dream
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        Nov 16 2011: Ibrahim,
        What do you mean by feeling "spirit absence after they reach that dream?"

        You say that "goal setting" involves "imagining every moment that could please you". I agree with that. You think people may feel that once the goal is reached, the imagining, or drive is then absent? I find that people who are goal oriented with imagination, generally will grow and build on the original goal. I don't think I know of anyone who reached the desired goal and then felt bad afterwards.
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          Nov 16 2011: I meant by "spirit absence after they reach that dream?"

          When You have a dream- your Emotions got tied to it .. that evolves a certain Spirit that lives inside you. That Spirit Controls you, it becomes a CONTROLLING positive power.

          When You get what you want, and in the stage of re-choosing a bigger goal. You will need to create spirit of a New Spirit, which makes the person Mixed up !
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        Nov 17 2011: Dear Ibrahim,
        I think I understand what you are saying now. I agree that sometimes our emotions "get tied to" a dream or goal, and it becomes our identity for awhile? As you say, the spirit may become a controlling power within us. You are saying that once the goal is reached, perhaps it is difficult to choose a new goal, or expand on the original goal, and this causes confusion? I agree that this happens at times.

        In another post on this thread, I write about the gardens mother nature and I created, and I also say that my interest in the gardens has changed recently. The gardens were my passion, obsession, creativity, joy, pleasure for many years. I still love the gardens, and will always love gardens, but my focus seems to be changing, and it IS a little confusing at times. The direction and interests in my life have changed several times, and each time, the direction changed, it has taken me down a path that is connected, and yet seperate from the last path.

        I think the difficulty you speak of is caused by becoming so attached to the goal/experience/dream that it becomes part of our identy, so it may be difficult to change direction and imagine or recognize another opportunity.

        I think/feel that everything I experience, including dreams and goals, offer the opportunity to learn and grow. I do not become attached to the outcome, nor do I identify myself based on the dreams or experiences. So when it is time to change direction, I am grateful for the experience, and I move on to another learning experience. Make any sense?

        With the gardens for example, it is confusing as to why I feel "different" about them, I do not feel my focus in that direction at this time, and I know that there is a transition happening within me. A "new spirit" as you say, is growing in me, and I accept the change and am aware and mindful of where this "new spirit" may take me:>) What you're talking about seems to be attachment/detachment from the dream/goal?
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    Nov 12 2011: Then you create another dream and carry on chasing, i believe the goal is not to just reach a specific goal, but the goal is the path of chasing and the impact that it makes
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      Nov 24 2011: Pierre,
      You offer some good meaningful quotes:>)

      I especially like...“[the King]: The book describes people’s inability to choose their own Personal Legends. And it ends up saying that everyone believes the world’s greatest lie.” “What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised. “It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.” (18).

      I do not believe that we LOSE control...I believe that we give it away when we choose to depend on someone or something else to guide our lives. So, I agree that giving up our true power to create our lives to something or someone else is not beneficial.

      I also agree that many times, our "personal calling" is deeply buried, so we may not recognize it, and it is still there. That's why knowing our "self" is important as we are on the life journey. We can make better choices for ourselves as we orchestrate our lives. It is said that if we do not make our own choices and decisions, someone else will!

      BTW...I LOVE paris. I had the pleasurable opportunity to stay with friends in Asnieres years ago...beautiful:>)
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    Nov 23 2011: Hi dear Colleen,
    I respect your experience of life , fortitude and your ability accept things coolly.
    No I haven't read it, but I believe that faith is the best "physitian".
    By the way.you have a cool hobby))
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      Nov 23 2011: Dear Marianna,
      Thank you for your kind encouragement. I accept things because the alternative is not appealing to me.
      I am here, now in this life experience, and I am going to make the best of it with love in my heart:>)

      You mean the gardens are a "cool hobby"? Yes, I agree:>)
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    Nov 22 2011: Thank you very much ! To tell the tryth I didn't know what kind of flowers are in this photo,but as you noticed they are really alike)
    I want to thank you for your advice "I tell you how to stave off drowning. Dive down. Embrace it. The sea will spit you back, astonished" it is really interesting!
    What about struggle,saying struggle Imeant the actions,that we undertake to reach our goals,and I think that when you stop doing anything,as no wishes are left,there appears a fearful situation.
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      Nov 23 2011: Hi Marianna,
      ALL flowers are beautiful...in my humble perception:>)

      I am simply passing on information. I saw that quote years ago, and it always reminds me to face the challenges with love and the curiosity of a child, rather than struggle and fight against them.

      Maybe I misunderstood your use of the word struggle. I'm not suggesting not doing anything, or stopping all action. I'm only saying that sometimes, fear may cause us to want things to happen as we think/feel things "should" happen. Often, there is a gift within certain experiences that we may percieve as "struggles". If we can suspend judgment, and stop fighting against something, we sometimes see the opportunities to learn, which moves us through the fear that sometimes gets in the way of achieving our goal. I think of my cancer, traumatic head/brain injury, divorce after 24 years of marriage, etc. It was more beneficial to face the challenge (dive down and embrace it), rather than spending very much time and energy with fear and struggling against it.

      Are you familier with the "Serenity Prayer"?
      "Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".

      I observe that many times, people struggle against something they may not be able to change, and that doesn't make any sense to me. For example, I could not change the fact that I had cancer, or the fact that I sustained a near fatal injury. I COULD change, however, my perception of the experience, which changed my actions/reactions to the situations and helped me move through the fear.

      I LOVE quotes, and refer to them often, as reminders:>)
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    Nov 22 2011: I had the same problem. Then the age old wisdom strung to mind. It's the journey not the destination. That's why is so important to enjoy what we do and not always worry about the end point.

    That said the end point is still important to keep us motivated. I like the example of an artist. He wants to finish a project because then they he gets to admire it yet that is not why he's an artist. Once the project is done another one will be started because it's the act of creating that's the lure not just the final goal.
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    Nov 22 2011: Not necessarily. We just need to search for another goal and once again strive to achieve it :)
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    Nov 22 2011: I have experienced the fear of not being good enough to reach a goal aimed for, never a fear of reaching it. I can't imagine reaching perfection in achievements or personal growth. There is always a "better". Except in my garden. Here perfection is everywhere.
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      Nov 22 2011: OH Hans....I agree with what you say...including...everything is PERFECT in the gardens...IF...we choose to see it that way:>)

      I remember years ago, when I first built the water falls in the gardens...within a few days, moss and algae started growing on the stones in and around the waterfall. One person visited the gardens and commented that the falls looked so beautiful and natural... it looks like it's been there forever! (Which was what I was trying to achieve). Within a short time, the same day, another person visiting the gardens, commented that the water falls would look a lot better if I cleaned off all that "stuff" so she could see more of the stones!!! LOL:>) It is interesting that we are all so different!

      "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes..."
      (Marcel Proust)
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    Nov 20 2011: I think that life would become too boring and meaningless,as nothing would force you to struggle,to create and to live...,but I can hardly believe in such situation,becouse I think that every taken step brings new steps ,and the motion in life ,and in your mind never ends...
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      Nov 22 2011: Dear Marianna,
      I LOVE your flowers...looks like Rhododendron?

      I agree with what you write...life may be boring and meaningless without challenges as we move through life experiences, creating, and seeking our dreams and goals. I also agree that taking each step brings new steps and motion in life...never ending...and it is all part of the process...well said Marianna:>)

      The one thing I do not agree with is "struggle". To me, struggle is resistance, and when we resist anything, we use up energy that can be used to move toward our goal and dream. Sometimes, the path we're on, takes some interesting twists and turns that we may not be "expecting". So, to me, it's beneficial to suspend expectations or "struggle", and go with the flow:>)

      We can hold onto the branch at the side of the river, thinking that if we let go, we may drown...OR...we can go with the flow, and maybe find peace, contentment, and reach our goal further down the river.

      "I tell you how to stave off drowning. Dive down. Embrace it. The sea will spit you back, astonished".
      (David Brendan Hopes - "A sense of the Morning - Nature through New Eyes")
  • Nov 18 2011: Your dream is only as great as the next one. I have never limited myself to only one dream, it closes you up, it creates a feeling of fatality once you achieve it. Have more dreams, no dream is the ultimate dream in my opinion, only if you make it that. The reason why we think it to be is because we think that we are only barely capable of achieving it, as if we needed all the cosmos to be involved and for our day or steps to have been perfect for that dream to come true. Remove that way of thinking and trust me youll surprise yourself. There is so much more you can do than just that so called "Ultimate dream".
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    Nov 17 2011: Sometimes our ceiling becomes our floor - we move on.

    There is nothing more rewarding than the process of learning as we set on the road to achieve our goals. Each time I achieve a goal I look back at how it's happened, I am grateful for it and I move on.
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    Nov 16 2011: Happiness is everyones dream, and happiness is a journey, not a destination. Achieving a goal creates a temporary sense of accomplishment, and happiness... but no goal makes people happy. People will always sometimes feel desperate, and sometimes feel encouraged. Life is difficult, and there is no single thing you can accomplish, that will create the legendary state of mind we all imagine as happiness. Having goals for the future, is as close as people have ever gotten. If a brilliant all perfect entity takes the reigns of the world and fixes all of our problems, then at first we won't know what to do... but what a problem to have : )
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    Nov 13 2011: Absolutely no fear needed! As you reach a perceived pinnacle your consciousness expands and so does your horizon! It's endless...
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    Nov 13 2011: I heard that Vermont is very beautiful ! If this is in God plan, I will past by for sure !

    How interesting what you said: "I find I do not always have the same energy to maintain them as I once did", and I deeply believe is because we are "creature" of creation, it is engrave in us, WE HAVE TO CREATE, where ever we might be in our life, we still have to create....so yes, your energy have to change towards that new goal, objective, dream...

    Life is interesting in general, WE have to embrace as it comes, you know, maybe we see it in a different eyes, then God has plan it for us, or a member of our family or close friend, but it is always interesting.

    We tend to complain more about what we don't have, instead of enjoying what we do have (I'm talking about myself, right now!). I don't have a husband, yet, but instead of enjoying my celibacy, I'm complaining about that I don't have a man in my life, and I'm sure when, I will have my husband, I will be complaining that I don't have a child yet, instead of enjoying my free time, with my husband, before we have a child. One thing I know, my husband will be the luckiest man on the planet !! Actually, my King, because all Queen are maried to a King, n'est-ce pas ?

    It is a learning process. We have to acknowledge what we have NOW and cherish it, embrace it, live it, breath it, change it, if we have to...but we should always dream...it keep us and the world going!

    Have a bless Sunday Queen Colleen!!
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      Nov 13 2011: Hi Mireille,
      I think/feel life is a LOT easier if we "embrace it as it comes", even if some of what we face are challenges that may not be totally comfortable! Life is "always interesting" IF we choose to see it that way:>) I've learned to be comfortable with discomfort, because discomfort seems to provide the best learning opportunities.

      I think complaining is not a good use of time for more than a minute! A complaint, or discomfort with a situation, can serve to move us to the next step...OR...if we hold onto the complaints, it actually gets in the way of the next step...yes?

      I remember how it felt to not have a man in my life after 24 years of marriage. I had never lived alone...going from family of origin, to roommate, to husband and children of my own. I felt a little lost when divorced, and it seemed like EVERYBODY in this world had a partner except me! It was my perception, and how I was "seeing" the world at the time. I am now quite comfortable whether or not there is a partner in my life at any given time. I believe that part of the process of achieving the goal of living with another person, is being peaceful and content in ourselves. A partner to me, would have to be equally content with HIS life as an individual, as I am with MY life as an individual. If that ever happens...fine...if not...that's fine too:>)

      I totally agree with you...life is a learning process. Acknowledging, cherishing, embracing, appreciating and being grateful for what we have NOW, is an important piece of the puzzle of life, and allows us to move on to creating the next piece.

      Have a blessed everyday Queen Mireille:>)
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        Nov 14 2011: I really hope and pray that you have a wonderful life Colleen, you deserve it...great example that you are. I'm bless to be sharing this "knowledege" of appreciation of life !

        Being happy with ourselve, be grateful for what we have now, sharing, embracing life....we are made and command to be happy everyday! Because our steps are guided, our dreams, big or small will be fufill in fullest....

        We just have to be a blessing for ourselves and for others ! And I pray, that God bring a great man if you life, if you want Him too!

        Take great care Queen Colleen, much affection, is being sent your way!
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    Nov 12 2011: @Colleen Steen: This is a wonderful dream to have...What beautiful garden you have, absolutely breath taking....this certainly put a smile, not just on my face, but my heart.....you are so talented! Bravo Queen Colleen!!
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      Nov 13 2011: Thank you Mireille, for your very kind words and your lovely smile:>)

      Actually, the gardens are a very good example of a dream, a goal, and achieving something special. Although I have always had gardens, about 10-12 years ago, my heart and mind started to dream of expanding the gardens. The dream began to evolve to include physical labor with the creation of the gardens, and soon, the gardens took on a life of their own!!! I simply went along with the flow. The gardens became a peaceful place for people to gather...they were featured in 4 publications, a tv segment, and many people started visiting individually and in groups...garden clubs, spiritual groups, etc. It became an educational experience, as I and visitors talked about growing plants, creating gardens not only to produce food, but also for the benefit of the earth, as plants/gardens clean our air and water.

      Several times, the gardens and my energy have changed direction, and Ibrahim askes...what if we achieve our goal? What would our life be then? I achieved something with the gardens, and now I find I do not always have the same energy to maintain them as I once did. I'm still going with the flow...doing what I can and enjoying the process, the challenges and the changes. I believe that each step we take (a dream, goal, achievement) leads to the next step...whatever that may be. So, I'm open to the possibilities. I feel like I am in transition, and I don't know what I will transition to, but whatever it is, I'm sure it will be interesting:>)

      You live very close to my home and gardens Mireille (I live near the Canadian border in Vermont), so, hopefully, next summer you will visit:>)
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    Nov 12 2011: Ibrahim, "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself."
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      Dec 2 2011: That quote really touched the heart of the Argument :)
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        Dec 2 2011: All you have to do is put your personal good intention behind it. It is not easy but its the only best way though.

        Thanks very much Ibrahim for your good question :-) :-)
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    Nov 12 2011: Most certainly there is, but I have a tendency to leave religious discussion offline, as it is much more difficult to discuss "rational" concepts when post "physical" life, belief systems fragment in so many decisions.

    PS like the "laugh at themselves" ref. the happiest people in the world demonstrate that quality the most!
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    Nov 12 2011: None of us should fear the achievement of our biggest dreams. We should fear about not achieving them.
    If i achieved my biggest dreams, i would be the happiest man alive. My life would surely be changed for the better.
    Of course there will be challenges and obstacles, but that's life. No pain, no gain.
    Everybody would surely have doubts whether they will make it or not. Sometimes i feel like giving up, but i know if i give up on my dreams, i give up on life. Nobody alive should give up on life. Just try your best, and have fun. :D
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    Nov 12 2011: I will dream another bigger dream !!!

    When you achieve a goal, it gives you wings to fly higher and dream bigger, on the contrary, is a FUEL, GAZOLINE is on the fire, keep it burning that fire inside of you...My God, we can accomplish so much more, that we think we are doing right now!!

    It is important also, in accomplishing that dream, that you bring someone along with you...a dream is for sharing. Give to someone that really deserve it, that was there for you, even if it was just for a moment, give and share your dreams with someone...

    Keep on dreaming people...big dreams contribute to ourself accomplishment and give back to our world.....We are born to create.....Dream it, create it, share it and live it !

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    Nov 12 2011: Well if made King, then what would your goal be? There is not a goal you can give me short of death, that I can't counter with a new goal that can be created after accomplishing it? And the Language used to describe the goal has a lot to do with it as well. Do you Dream of being the best King of the universe ever? Or just the King?
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      Nov 12 2011: I want to be "Queen". I've already been given the title "Queen of the Gardens" right here on TED...LOL:>)Here's "proof"........... http://smugdud.smugmug.com/Quintessential%20Vermont

      (Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.....LOL)

      Are you saying, Jim, that there is no goal to be had after death? Are you sure of that?
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        Nov 12 2011: In God Kingdom, you are a Queen !! Keep on smiling Queen Colleen!!
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          Nov 12 2011: You too Queen Mireille...keep smiling...it is contagious:>)
          One of my goals, desires, and ultimate dreams, is to spread smiles all over the world:>)
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    Nov 11 2011: In life you never stop climbing. Yes, you may fall (lose your job as a CEO) but you will always find new challenges or goals to fufill. So, if I were to achieve my dreams, than I would go back to sleep and think of some more!
  • Nov 11 2011: Can I tell you that it isn’t a difficult question to answer? You know the answer, you said it yourself.
    Do me a favour, and you will know how you know it: with your finger cover the “don’t” of your sentence:
    “I don’t know the answer, do you?”

    You would better ask (or read about): Thomas Edison (who invented light bulb), Sir. Edmund Hillary (who climbed Mount Everest), Neil Armstrong (who walked on moon). Maybe they can tell you what it feels like to achieve the highest pick. What was the goal of Masar Ibraham al Khalil?

    My point is, there is no such thing as “THE biggest goal” It is better to have small goals which inspire you to keep climbing. When one reaches the highest pick, there is a question “What more? What else?” if they don’t ask it, they may get depressed; Life will lose its meaning. It is said: “when you reap you are rotten” - Stay green and you will grow. (Ex: when one becomes a parent, does it mean they achieved their biggest dream? or do they already know what life will be after being a parent? NO, because there is more: they may become grandparent, and so on and they will know what it is like when they have their child in their hands)

    I teach students Pick Performance psychology and the technology of achievement, and I haven’t used
    “The biggest goal” as a statement yet. I help them to understand the importance of goal setting and its process of getting it (and also the Exit Strategy: “What if?")
    As you were reading you might already become aware of long/medium/short term goals.
    “What do you want?” and “what do you really want?” are different questions and require different approach.

    But when you know WHAT they REALLY want, you start to think of HOW to get it and WHEN you achieve it, you celebrate it and then move on to the next level. But FIRST you "have" to write you goals down. this piece of paper might have no importance but what's on it, is more valuable. It's like your weekly shopping list on your fridge.
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      Nov 12 2011: I Can't Deny that your reply Inspired, Coached me about goal setting ! :)
      Thank you for this, I think the core of the Question for me as a Person is to refresh my intentions, and Goals not to Question any deeper hesitation about my goals setting.

      it's coming from a questioning mind, not a Desperate one. I have taken enough time setting my goals, and Arranging my priorities;but, Yesterday I was thinking about what if I reached that ! and I asked that here ....

      For case specifically as in teaching students Psychology. Your Goal might be " Teaching Psychology to every student in your country ? "

      What if a day came when No student needs your Help in Psychology !
      Will it make you feel proud ?
      Or will it Push you to widen your goal to include more groups to be taught Psychology :D

      Technically, I can't claim I know the answer. I have the essence of the Answer, and I will not be able to make sure if it is true or not until I Experience my question :)

      Got my point , dear
      • Nov 12 2011: Hi Ibrahim,

        I am glad that I could help you somehow. My goal isn’t what you have mentioned here. And if you have read it well, you might have noticed that I don’t teach Psychology. What I do is quite simple.
        I introduce to my students new ways of mind-setting strategies, tools, linguistic techniques, and the importance of the right question at the certain time
        It’s like installing new software in your computer (brain) and then run it as you understand it but in a way that helps you to get what you want.

        They are not all in a certain age, there is no age limit in group, they can be from different walk of life with different needs and wants.
        (Teenagers want to improve their learning abilities. Students want to communicate better at University, Self-employed, young entrepreneurs, teachers, architects and etc; they all want better performance skills for their personal and professional lives)

        Their success is my success, and there is nothing to be proud of.
        I adjust my approach, and keep my goals as there are.

        I hope I answered your questions.
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      Nov 12 2011: If we knew what we REALLY wanted, we would already have it.
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        Nov 12 2011: Thanks mr.Thomas.

        Your Replies make me think !
      • Nov 12 2011: Hi Thomas,

        Thanks for your note. I agree you said it and I would only add that we all want different things at different stages. As a kid, you might want something (as an Ice-Cream), as a teenager (computer game), as student (passing your exams or girls and beers), and when you get a job, then you want something else and so on. (this is explained very well in Shakespeare’s “AS YOU LIKE IT”)
        Don’t you think that this Not-Knowing what we REALLY want makes us struggle through life and keeps us searching on and on pointlessly?

        If I were to ask you whether you are a general wanderer or a meaningful specific, what would your comment be?
        (bare in mind, Sir Edmund Hillary wasn't just wandering in Himalayas and hoping to get to the pick of Mount Everest)

        Time and environment do have effects on our goal and dreams.
        When two parties are negotiating for a favourable deal, both of them know what they REALLY want.
        When a project manager runs a project, he knows what he REALLY wants/needs to accomplish it.
        When two teams play, they both know what they REALLY want during the match.
        When Aron Lee Ralston’s hand was stuck in Blue John Canyon (Utah) in between rocks, I believe what he REALLY wanted at that moment was to survive. And the WILL to live made him to amputate his forearm. (short term pain, lont term life)

        This type of Goal-settings can be long term and short term, as I have mentioned before.
        It is the moment of your decison, that shapes your future. So decide well, set a goal that inspires you and when you achieve it, it can improve your future.
  • Nov 11 2011: Yes, It should be more tough than before achieving his goals.
    When a man achieves a higher post then more responsibilities will be added to him, when a woman achieves her successful pregnancy plan she d' face with the maternity daily exhausting tasks, and when a proposed presidential nominee wins through his campaign, specially in Egypt after revolution, he d' be afraid from the Egyptian people that they will send him to his backyard to play with the kids if he'll fail to achieve Tahrir square's civilization goals.
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    Nov 11 2011: I think the question is somehow closing possibilities. why not gor for "the sky is the limit"? there is never a maximum
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      Nov 11 2011: Even if the Sky is yur Limit, You can reach it one day . I am just trying to think what am I gonna feel when I do so.
      For me, I have BIG BIG dreams that can not ever be satisfied; but , I am wondering about the feeling itself :)
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        Nov 11 2011: If you say and believe your dreams "can not ever be satisfied", that is the reality you create for yourself. Believe in yourself...believe in the life journey and all the possibilities:>)
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        Nov 12 2011: I agree with Colleen. If you reached the sky, go to the universe. When you reach the sky you can be overcomed either with happiness or emptiness, but in both cases you can go ahead forward
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          Nov 12 2011: I agree with you too Eli...move forward...when we reach the sky, go to the universe:>)
          Each phase of our life is a stepping stone to the next phase...in my humble opinion:>)

          The past is gone by, the future is not yet a reality...this moment is the only reality. Why spend your time and energy speculating about what you MAY feel in the future? Sometimes, by trying to project the future, we set ourselves up for disappointment, because of our expectations. If we let go of the expectations and enjoy the process in the moment, the future is unlimited:>) Once we decide that we "know" (or think we know), we stop exploring, and stop being open to possibilities. That is limiting ourselves.

          "Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination"
          (Roy M. Goodman)
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        Nov 12 2011: Very True. We never know a think about what happens nest, and we never can be sure in 100%. Remember that we can only refute theories, not totally approve them-and the process to reinforce a theory is never ending
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    Nov 11 2011: you pursue the second biggest dream. or just sit back and relax. they only danger in achieving a goal is you discover that it does not give you the satisfaction you wanted. but hey, choose your goals wisely!
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      Nov 11 2011: Yea, I agree ....
      I am Also thinking about the Idea that VISION completes this deficiency. Vision is the style of life, is a More general scope term that can keep you ambitious.

      Yet, I am sure that the person that reaches his BIGGES goal will have a Down curve for a while, you ?
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    Dec 11 2011: Enjoy the moment and pursue the next big dream. No fears, this is what one lives for.
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    Nov 28 2011: Dear Ibrahim,
    I hope you are safe...thinking about you and wishing you well at this time of unrest in your country.
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    Nov 18 2011: yes I think we should. after u achieve it there u fell a void that can not be cured...
  • Nov 16 2011: The answer is not a mathematical binary reply: YES or NOT.
    Every person has a different character and a different answer.
    lt and not one size feet all.
    People are drived by our human being nature and once they achieved their dream, after a while, they will find a new dream to chase after.
    Some the human being characteristic, such as endless curiosity, quest of discovery, willing more of…,asking the question "what is wrong and how to solve this"" drives the human being form a hunter similar to other creatures on the mother earth to the moon, occupy wall street, mother Tereza, Bill Gates, Budha, Che Guevara.
    This endless cycle is the human being blessing as well our curse.
    You will find your personal reply only when you will achieve your dream.
    Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Take it as a challenge of discovering new horizons.
    (Only the very few materialize their dreams and are on the position to provide a answer from inside .All the other are guessing- as I do
  • Nov 16 2011: If I achieved my dream. First off I'd celebrate haha then make a new one. Because how insulting would it be to lose that Drive I gained from pursuing that dream just after I achieved it ? No ,I'll make another one and work just as hard for it. Why did the first astronauts who came back from the moon become alcoholics ? They WENT TO THE MOON !! There's nothing more they could do on earth...that's how they saw it . They achieved something so great and then got back to a routine life with no goals in sight.So focusing now on that ultimate dream of mine would be first. WHEN I get there that's when I'll focus on something else I wanted to do , it could be bigger or it could smaller doesn't matter as long as I'm happy in the end. It's easy to see everywhere. An ace fighter pilot who earned the highest military decorations doesn't sit around doing nothing after a 15 year kickassery streak , he teaches ! Good luck bro and keep hope alive
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    Nov 13 2011: I believe the point in one's life when "fear" is no longer an enemy is the point your describing. For most, that is the beginning of their journey and the future is not contemplated.
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    Nov 13 2011: did you got my convesation
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    Nov 13 2011: oh y you asked me that about humanity.
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    Nov 13 2011: Hello this is Moses from kenya Africa, i just wanted share this with you there, i hope you will enjoy

    The great wisdom traditions emerged at a time when life was radically different than it is today. The world has changed immeasurably in the past two thousand years. And human beings have changed along with it.

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    Nov 13 2011: I think people need to understand that, depending on the dream and the competence of the dreamer, achieving what you call "the ultimate dream" isn't always that big of a deal. For some people, it's as simple as picking a piece of fruit from a tree. So, let's not complicate things by thinking way too much.
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    Nov 13 2011: Hello this is Moses from kenya Africa, i just wanted share this with you there, i hope you will enjoy

    The great wisdom traditions emerged at a time when life was radically different than it is today. The world has changed immeasurably in the past two thousand years. And human beings have changed along with it.

  • Nov 13 2011: well it's sounds like simple to me maybe caus i already got my answer

    i want say what i 'll feel or how would i be caus i really don't know cau i'll be may be going after another dream to acheive
    for me life isn't about our biggest dream caus when acheive one you just starting thinking about another goal

    that s why i always love lthis quotation that steven jobs said once "stay hungry ,stay foolish" and that means that as long as you've living their's always something to acheive ,something to go after,a next step to do
    so i think when i get when i get to one of my ultimate dreams i'll certainly saying:

    " oooooh that's good!! finally hhh OH! mmmm Neeeext"
  • Nov 13 2011: I recently read the novel The Alchemist and one of the main topics is the four obstacles we face while chasing our dreams. The last obstacle is fear of success. The author,Paulo Coelho, talks about fear of relizing our dreams stops us from reaching our full potential. In fact one character never fulfills his dream because he is afraid he will have nothing to live for after he succeeds, and that life will have lost the sense of meaning. Paulo shows that this is a minor thing in the grand scheam of life by inflicting these fears on the main character for only a moment. The fears are soon forgotten and the main character, Santiago, is soon chasing his dreams once again. I believe we should be like Santiago, and only worry about fear of achieving our dreams for a moment and spend the rest of our lives achieving them. In the end I believe that if we achieve our dreams life won't be constant regret. But a journey that makes our lives worth living.
  • Nov 13 2011: before enlightenment chopping wood, after enlightenment chopping wood. This is an old saying about one of the ultimate "dreams". Most dreams are illusory goals that ultimately mean nothing. why would you want to be a CEO of anything? Money? Fame? Respect?..You would be so busy sorting other peoples problems, and answering to people wanting a return on their investment, you would no longer be yourself. Wealth is not a prerequisite of happiness. Say you dream of having an expensive car and you achieve it. How can you then be happy with that when so few or even no one else has what you have. There maybe some feeling of superiority that is unsatisfying.Dreams that are exclusive of others are essentially hollow.
    Dream of things that have true value and the outcomes will be nothing to fear only love .
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    Nov 13 2011: There are some very thoughtful responses here. I'll add my 2 cents - I'm not sure if the 'fear of the moment' is simply a manifestation of self-doubt, an actual fear of success, or if you're referring to fearing the 'emptiness' that follows the achievement. I'm taking it you're referring to the latter.
    Having achieved many goals, and failed to achieve many more, I think it's wrong to define one's self by goals. As individuals, we are deeper and more complex than perhaps we give ourselves credit for - relationships, interests, jobs, dreams and realities all combined. If a goal is achieved, something else will take its place - the goal of continuing success (it's often harder to stay on top than to get there in the first place), or another goal altogether. Whatever. While it's natural to become deeply invested in those things we spend most of our time with, it shouldn't take us over. We exist on, goals achieved or failed or somewhere between.
  • Nov 12 2011: Think is better to see "the dream" just as defined vision, able to reach if aspirations are not just ambitions. Perrsonaly try to see it in this way, having only one dream, in essence unable to do therefore does not makes me affraid of succes.
    Of course all for everyone. simple situation might caused as many different reaction as many situations will be with its presence.
  • Nov 12 2011: "Should we fear the moment....? "
    - No, we shouldn't for it will never come.:)
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    Nov 12 2011: My thoughts Ibrahim ... ?
    all humans dream of a better world, where the grass is greener ...
    but the grass is never green enough ... if your dream is to be CEO of, say, Apple, then the dream won't be realised by rubbing the bottle and the genie making it happen ... it is achieved over a long time, step by step, and at each step the unreality will vanish and become reality ... until, when the CEO position is reached, what seemed an unreal dream 20 years before (a Lifetime ... ?), will br that moment's reality, and not a dream at all ... every dreams culmination becomes a stepping stone to the next dream ...
    hhehehehehhh ... man will never stop dreaming until he becomes a God, and God is the greater dreamer of all ... :)
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    Nov 12 2011: Great question! And I've thought about this many times, especially when I see "from rags to riches" individuals. If I was to achieve my dream www.Indiegogo.com/Split-Endsa-psycho-thriller I would fulfill a promise I made when I was in my early twenties...help skid row. Back then, I never seen so many men on skid row...then I thought about the many children who were fatherless...is this where their dads are? I was walking from Chinatown in New York City during the day and ran into this section, my heart melt, whereas I should have been afraid, but felt the hurt, the pain and the embarrassment these men must have gone through to find themselves on skid row. Yes, my life would change, I would be more encourage to "give back" and "support others" to achieve their dreams.
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    Nov 11 2011: Fear is good ..makes us explore our greatest talents ..even the ones we didnt think we had.
    The minute you plan a future you create a vision, be passionate ...at least when you look back even in the hard times you will feel the power of your dreams and the power of drive to reach your goals...never forget to be loyal and fare on your way up. Be a true hero .. best wishes Ibrahim.
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    Nov 11 2011: If our sense of wellbeing is tied into achieving a goal, then, yes, we are in "trouble." When we do reach our goal, we will be disappointed (not right away.)

    Why? Because no (external) goal is capable of fulfilling us. That we think a specific goal will satisfy us, provides an artificial incentive to move towards it - it is the hope that is motivating us; not the certainty that the goal will be fulfilling, because, not only can we not be certain it will, we can be certain that it will not. (Based on previous experience, observation of others, and so on.)

    This is such a truism, we even have a phrase that addresses it: "It is not the destination, it is the journey that counts."

    It's as if we know the goal will not fulfill us so we transfer our expectation for fulfillment from the outcome (the goal) to the process (the work of attaining goals.)

    This, to me, is just a higher level of delusion.

    Don't get me wrong, I enjoy setting and achieving goals, and I'm quite good at it, I just do not expect to be fulfilled by the process. It is fun and entertaining. But I could be equally "fulfilled" sitting in a quite room all alone as I can be building companies or "changing the world." (I know because I have done both.)

    Achieving "the ultimate dream" assumes several things: one, that the dream is "ultimate" - or even a stepping stone in that direction; two, that we have not already achieved and surpassed anything we might "dream" of; three, that we are awake (metaphorically speaking.)

    If we knew what would fulfill us, we would already be fulfilled.

    Being alive is greater than any goal we might achieve by virtue of being alive.

    If we are dreaming, we are asleep.
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    Nov 11 2011: The achievement of a life time goal should be worth a huge celebration and a rest. I think it should be an occasion for reflections and re-evaluation. It should be a time when you re-examine the path you took and ask yourself if you dropped any balls ( or any relationships along the way). Is there anything which remains undone or anyone you need to apologize to? Once you have considered all of that and you are rested and restored, I love Krisztian's insight about starting to tackle your second biggest goal. It could be in a similar field or it could be something new. This is an opportunity to reinvent your life or to tailor it to fit you even better!
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    Nov 11 2011: I wish I could communicate with someone who has some control or power here.
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    Nov 11 2011: I never had any 'big dreams'.... My life has been a meandering path, exploring nooks and crannies, learning, poking around. I have no idea how a life with 'A Goal' must be. I've wondered, especially as I learn about 'successful people' who I've known or grown up with. Not envious, just curious. Perhaps a 'burning desire' is something I just wasn't born with..... I've been content to survive and do my job(s) as employee, father, husband, etc. Some I've done well. Others not so well. But I've just tended to myself and my close circle. Big dreams? None.
  • Nov 11 2011: nt fear but to be careful of what we wish for. Sometimes we think that this is the perfect thing we want from life, and after achieving it it turns to be nt true. Most of the times we are attracting the wrong things in our lives. We need to be more careful rather than fearing the moment itself.
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      Nov 11 2011: You Picked the right thing, and You Achieved it .... ?
      That's the point

      It taks time to know your goal
      it takes effort to achieve your goal
      You always dream that you'r going to fulfill your GOAL, and you never have an Idea on how you'll live after :)
      Imagine ?
      • Nov 11 2011: Hi Ibraham.
        It doesn’t take so much time as you think. You need three things:
        a Pen, Paper and a right Question: “What do I REALLY want?”

        Do you have all your goals written? Do you read them frequently? Do your goals still inspire you?

        Yes, it does take effort to achieve it. No pain no gain; you know that when you lose something you gain something else instead, and vice versa. “What would you give up in order to achieve you goal?”

        The idea of how you will live after achieving it will come after you have achieved it. so take your first step, you don’t have to see the whole stair-case.
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    Nov 11 2011: Dear, I don;t get your reply .
    There is A Quote discussing the issue of living after achieving the dream. It's a controversial issue !

    Are you trying to Discuss or just mocking, if Mocking . Please I don want to spend my time replying to "lol"s :)
  • Nov 11 2011: Hi , how are ya? I am guessing you are a man? Oh, with Respect!