Rafi Amin

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What is one mistake you made, but would suggest others not to make.

This is a very personal question & might be difficult for you to share your mistake but humans do make mistakes & is common in everyone either it is a very small mistake or big one but I believe if you share your mistakes with others you might feel good in helping others not to make it.

Why would we just learn from our own mistakes not from others ?

Regards.

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    Nov 13 2011: Hi again Rafi:>)
    I believe we can learn from others AND ourselves. The biggest "mistake" I ever made, may have been believing that we make "mistakes". Because I was born into a catholic family, teachers of the church tried to tell me right away that I was a sinner...born with original sin on my soul. Somehow, even as a little child, I didn't accept that teaching. When I was forced to "confess" my sins as a 6 year old making the "first communion", I made up something to tell the priest because I didn't think/feel that I was a sinner.

    As a young adult exploring life, I discovered the root meaning of the word sin..."to miss the mark", or "to miss the target". It appears that through many translations, and a need by some folks to control others, the word sin, was misused. As it was used originally, it simply meant missing the mark, which to me, indicates a practice, or exploration of life. I believe everything we do and say is an opportunity to learn and grow. In my perception, there are no failures or mistakes. There are opportunities, from which we can learn, and all the opportunities, in which we miss the mark, are bringing us closer to the target, which in my perception, means to be all that we can be in this life experience:>)
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      Nov 14 2011: Thank you. There is always something differrent in your thoughts.
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      Nov 14 2011: Hi Colleen, you and I could have been friends at 6 years old as we shared the same thoughts around being a sinner...I appreciated your answer very much. Thank you!

      With a smile,
      Tina
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        Nov 18 2011: Thank you Rafi and Tina,
        I think/feel that one of the worse things we can do to kids is tell them they are sinners when they come to this earth. I like telling kids they may "miss the mark" at times, and they will learn with the experience:>)
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          Nov 19 2011: Yes...as I child I just couldn't figure out how I was a sinner just because I was born!! I was very perplexed and was never satisfied with the answers I was told...unfortunately it did eventually stick and took me a long time to realize that I wasn't a 'bad' person...powerful energy comes from that negative, repetitive messaging...
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          Nov 21 2011: Hi Colleen, as always there is wisdom in your words. I agree with you.

          One thing we should do is dispel the myth of "avoid mistakes at all costs" that we seem to be instigating in our children. Parents and school teachers and peer students learn to laugh at and ridicule the kid who makes mistakes. As if making a mistake should be something to be ashamed of.

          If only we could tell them that it is by making mistakes that science can make progress, that it is only by making mistakes that we grow and we become wiser, i think we could have an entire generation of creative entrepreneurs and a lot less stress and anxiety in our kids.

          cheers
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        Nov 21 2011: Hi Tina,
        I think it IS very confusing to a child to think/feel that s/he is a sinner from the time they are born, and it doesn't seem to be a very good foundation on which children can grow in an emotionally healthy way. I agree with you that the message of sinner, failure and fear of making "mistakes" is a powerful energy that negatively impacts children. I feel that it "wounds" children before they even have a chance to explore life! Can you imagine how it would be if we empowered all children with the idea that they can "create" their life as they move through the life journey, and explore all that they can be?
        • Nov 21 2011: Colleen
          We don't create our lives anymore than we create nature. We are not blank slates. We do things that are not good. All people do. It is the concept of sin that needs to eradicated, but the idea that somehow we are all ok. We aren't all ok and for as much as you wish or want for people to be they will not be.
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          Nov 22 2011: @ Andre. thanks for your thoughts. I agree.
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        Nov 21 2011: Hi Michael,
        I totally respect what you choose to believe. I believe that I DO contribute a great deal to "creating", managing and orchestrating my life. I also work/play closely with mother nature to create the environment that is beneficial for all humanity. The only thing I "wish" and "want" for people, is for each and every one of us to "be" all that we can "be". Believing we are a "sinner" or "failures" from the time we are born, simply limits the possibilities in our heart and mind.
  • Nov 10 2011: Hi Rafi,

    The biggest mistake that I have made, and that I would urge others not to make is this: Never underestimate the value you have as a living person. You are capable of doing so much more than you will ever give yourself credit for, and you may have already done far more than you would think, without even knowing it.

    Thanks for the question, I am sure it will be an illuminating experience reading the answers that everyone else posts!
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      Nov 10 2011: Thanks John. I was making same mistake until I corrected it recently.
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      Nov 10 2011: same here,definitely agree with your point :)
  • Nov 10 2011: Not telling my parents "Thank You" and "I Love You" earlier in life. -of course there are more mistakes, but you asked for one ;) -
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      Nov 10 2011: I'm asking for one more, Patricia.
      • Nov 10 2011: :) How about not going to Law School... big-big mistake
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          Nov 13 2011: Patricia,

          How come not going to Law school be a mistake ? Was law your favourite subject & u could not study.
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    Nov 11 2011: Stubbing my toe or stepping on child's toys
    don't learn the lesson the hard way WATCH WHERE YOU STEP
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      Nov 13 2011: Thank you Christopher for sharing. Indeed we have to see where we put our feet.
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    Nov 10 2011: Not appreciating what I should appreciate in the first place.
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      Nov 14 2011: My Dear Muhammad,
      You don't need to "should" on yourself. The past is gone by, the future is not yet a reality, this moment is precious. We do what we do at any given time, based on the information we have...learn...move on...this is the first day of the rest of your life...appreciate your "self" and the journey:>)
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      Nov 21 2011: Noel, your response is so honest and raw...thank you for sharing with such openness...

      I had a difficult childhood as well and it definitely affected my adult life until I made a decision to change...I also suffered with depression and anxiety (mental illness runs in my family) however through jogging (the LAST thing I ever felt like doing when I was in that state) I have managed to heal that old pain...through physical exertion I process the pain, I learn the lessons, I change the patterns and I heal...since this learning process my life has completely opened up....my past no longer dictates my present or my future...

      You have knowledge, time and obviously a very strong survivor instinct....your life choices prior to 30 weren't mistakes...they were patterns of what you knew, probably what you grew up with...now you know better so you do better, isn't that the saying?

      I don't know you but I am very proud of you for taking an obviously difficult and painful situation and turning it around...embracing yourSELF and moving forward. You are an inspiration.

      I hope you have a good Monday!
      With a smile,
      Tina
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      Nov 22 2011: Thank you Tina and Noel for your thoughts/inputs.
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    Nov 15 2011: Never hesitate. If you believe that you can do something then just go for it. Don't think about world. Never wait for instructions. Humans have a great instructor called HEART. Biggest mistake of life is judging others i think.... So never judge others for anything.
  • Nov 11 2011: I think for me, it was allowing other people to force me into molds that were not the real me. It is easy to do. Everyone likes to be liked. However, the real me got lost in there somewhere. Crawling out of that mold is a good thing and one I am accomplishing. AsI look at the last years of my life, I want to be able to live being the person that I really am. I want to be with people who help me do that.
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    Nov 11 2011: Hi Rafi...I only think it's a mistake if you didn't learn something from it...

    If you learned something, then it was a lesson, an opportunity for growth...I have had plenty of these!

    As for learning from others 'mistakes'....I don't learn the hard lessons that way...I find that I must experience them myself...at least that is how it has been in the past...now that I am listening to my instinct, those big lessons are much less...for this I am grateful and know that I'm now on the right path :)

    Hope that's helpful!
    With a smile,
    Tina
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      Nov 11 2011: Thank you Tina. I Agree with you.
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    Nov 10 2011: Every person has the right on his/her own mistakes.
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      Nov 11 2011: Can u elaborate this? Sorry my english is poor.
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        Nov 11 2011: Yes Rafi, it simply means that people make mistakes and learn from it.
        Preventing this is preventing young people from learning.
        Everyone does make mistakes, some more, others less.
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    Nov 10 2011: I think the mistake that I regret the most is not being aware of how important it was for me to be atuned to what was happening in our societies. I have expressed this on TED before but I feel as though I put my head down and concentrated on raising a family, loving people and working hard. When I got a chance to lift my head again I had to come to terms with the reality that I should have been more vigilant for the world and what was happening to it. I should have been more of an advocate for good policies and placed the weight of my voice and opinion against what was wrong. I dropped the ball of my responsibility as a citizen and my kids will inherit the problems that I did not pay attention to enough to at least absolve myself of culpability. While I did vote, and did care, I assumed that good would prevail and that justice would be done. I dismissed things as 'conspiracy theories' (of which I am still not fond) rather than checking out the facts.

    All of this has made me far more committted to making sure I never make that mistake again. It also makes me believe that middle aged women like myself still have an important role to play in our societies. We need to have compassion on young parents who might not have time to pay close attention to the directions our societies are going because they are doing other important societal functions. We need to step up and given that we have less to lose in some respects now that our kids are grown challenge the powers that be.
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      Nov 10 2011: Debra, there's a time for everything.
      Don't regret all you gave your children.
      What better can a mother do?
      Now you maybe can use that strength and love to expand.
      Should I regret to have worked all my life to make my employer wealthy.
      We gain a lot from it as well, it's the way we grow.
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        Nov 13 2011: Dear Frans and Rafi, I adore you both and I love your kind and sensitive spirits. Thank you.
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      Nov 12 2011: Debra, You have raised children & gave to your society that are good human beings. therefore please I dont count this a mistake. If everyone plays such a role then all is well in this world.
  • Nov 11 2011: being very nice and kind to every one i know :( some people don't deserve all that attention !
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      Nov 11 2011: Hi Taqwa, It is easy to feel this way especially when you have been hurt but I hope that you will not recoil too far from your sweet kind self. I understand this feeling but I have told myself that I will not let those people change me. Maybe it is just a matter of degrees. Just do not pour yourself our for everyone but establish a basic level of courtesy and kindness for everyone and really pour it out to those who are able to reciprocate it. Remember that it is probably the ones who are cranky who need the kindness the most.
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    Nov 10 2011: Going to school in my teens instead of in my twenties.