TED Conversations

Carl LIndgren

Managing Editor / Founder, MAP Magazine


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What are the Top 5 things you can teach/share with a 6 year old?

I am interested in what other fathers/mother do with their kids to help them become kind, caring and humble human beings.


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  • Nov 12 2011: I must refer you to The Parents Tao Te Ching, A New Interpretation by by William Martin. The wisdom in this book will help you as it helps me. I was the eldest of 9 children over 20 years. Sometimes children act out when they cannot get your attention and feel your love. Media and material toys isolate their little hearts. Take a walk, talk, talk, talk. When children act out often it is because they are hungry, tired, overstimulated, need more time at home, and routine. Sometimes because limits give them a sense of security. If you make your home a safe haven and eat and talk as a routine at home...not in the car or restaurant, they feel much more secure. Tell them early that there are dangerous people they may encounter, and that they must never be afraid to tell you if they meet someone like this even if that person threatens them or your safety. Children will endure years of abuse to protect a parent. I know this personally. Then don't have more children than you can handle teach and love. As they grow you have to loosen the ties. Three is exponentially more than two. Get the book... and take care of yourself, sleeping, eating, resting...but you have a child and now that child is more important than you are. Don't search for a mate, if you are single to the extent that you neglect your child. Never put your mate or your needs 1st. as I did. I thought I had to find a father after a divorce. Three children by three men and it was worse each time. Be at peace...you have a beautiful gift. Read... Take walks....don't spoil with gagets and TV, Communicate. Blessings
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      Nov 12 2011: Sounds like lessons learned transformed into wisdom paid forward. Thank you Mary. :)
      • Nov 14 2011: Thank you, Linda and all....There is one "toy" that has given decades of pleasure and remarkable results for my children. I am an artist and there is an Italian clay block called "Plastilina" used by sculptors. It should be purchased in the==== SOFT GREY==== variety. Even this must be warmed and worked in the hands and sticks or a few wooden sculpting tools in a basket makes a wonderful holiday, or birthday present. This clay never hardens, it is natural and you will be stunned by the creatures and creativity evoked by this material. I also provided quality sketch books and colored pencils and hard and soft pencils for car trips and home. If the clay figurines break or fall apart...if they do it's ok... new ones will appear and it teaches non-attachment from age 4 to 20 I find a little bags of this clay yet in coat pockets and it was purchased over a decade ago! The Tao Te Ching is inexpensive and thin, the clay...one block comes wrapped in paper like a pound of butter, and gives years of joy to parent and child and is worth every penny because it lasts and lasts does not dry out, and does not destroy or stain furniture, rugs or car seats! It is a stress reliever, and joy producer!
        • Nov 16 2011: actually, plastilina is not a naturally occuring substance. It is a petro-chemical product combined with plant matter http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plasticine. Use real clay, instead, and teach about real clay properties (like having to keep it wet, how to dry it slowly, how to recycle the unused bits or dried up broken pieces in water, how to clean up after use, how to store the clay, ...
        • Nov 17 2011: thanks for the email, Mary and you are welcome. We used plasticine in the classroom for years, but a few years back, out of commitment to use only quality and natural classroom equipment and materials, decided to use only the real stuff. The switch required a lot of trial and error, but now have a nice process so that the children are independent in choosing and using the work without adult interference or control (imperative in Montessori).
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      Nov 16 2011: Thanks Mary. I just bought the book on Amazon.
      • Nov 17 2011: Oh, you will be very happy...I find it so useful in changing my paradigm for relating to everyone but especially for teens and adult children too. I wish I had it when mine were young! I would not be undoing damage I caused whose paradigm dated back to my parents and their parents and the 1900's! It has been said that just carrying a Tao Te Ching with you raises consciousness. No one knows who the actual author is but the translation from Chinese is "words of wise old man." Thank you, and enjoy...lucky child you have...wise parent.

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