TED Conversations

This conversation is closed.

In your experience, what are the three most important aspects to having a successful marriage?

There are many different opinions about what makes a marriage work. What, in your own experience, is important for the best chance of success? You can list what you’ve personally experienced or things you’ve learned from experts or friends. Give at least three examples.

Share:

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • Oct 29 2011: .
    1. Loyalty
    2. Truth / Honesty (Important components of communication)
    3. Awesome Sexual Relations

    4. Bonus: Never forget to celebrate the important dates.
    • thumb
      Oct 30 2011: Isn't your #3 only a way of saying that a successful marriage is a successful marriage? For me, the question is what LEADS to those awesome sexual realations. In the beginning, it's easy. All you need is a young, pretty wife who despearately wants kids with your genes in them. 25 years later, it takes something more, and I lthink that's the point where the question becomes really interesting.

      As a lawyer, I've seen many marriages disintegrate. One common denominator I've learned to recognize in the bad ones, is how people complain to each other. They can be both loyal and truthful, but they still complain. In my view, a good marriage is not about having a wife who loves me as I am (hell, sometimes It would take a saint to love who I am, and I'm no saint myself), but a wife who's dedicated to helping me become the person I want to be. That's not going to happen, unless I'm just as dedicated to helping her become the person she wants to be.
      • thumb
        Nov 1 2011: So well said. I would call it helping each to become a Better Person. I see it as the ultimate goal of love=creation and belonging, don't mind the pathos.

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.