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anwar kamal

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What is the first thing you tell yourself when you wake up to give yourself energy or courage?

Many people use various quotes and axioms for to inspire and motivate them for a new day. eg. steve jobs said. "I ask myself what would I do if today was my last day?"

What do you tell or ask yourself?

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    Nov 7 2011: Recently I took it upon me to take care of my bedridden 90 year-old mother. She was in the hospital for a month and when it was time for her to return home I was confronted with the fact that her own husband didn’t want her back in the house (although he spent most of her money over the years) and her beloved son (terribly spoiled by her and financially capable of taking care of her) also turned his back on her. So much for family!
    Although my house isn’t equipped for this and I am in between jobs at the moment I said, without thinking, that she could stay with me. I just knew it was the right thing to do. I am a very fortunate person to have some great friends who immediately supported with some of the materials needed. It remains a challenge to provide the daily care and I’m not sure how long I will be able to do that but I take it day by day and find strength in tender moments like when she asks me to put my head on her chest when she wants to sleep.
    Since then, when I wake up in the morning I just say: ‘I can do this!’
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      Nov 7 2011: Dear Astra,
      Your mother is very lucky to have you, and you are doing a beautiful thing for and with her. Day by day is the only way to go. My brother, who is challenged with cancer, is living with me as of a couple weeks ago when he was released from the hospital. He will have surgery next week, and come back to my home...hopefully to heal. My house wasn't equipped for this challenge either, but we step up to the plate when necessary huh? I also find strength in very tender moments each and every day my brother is alive. I also wake up in the morning and say "I CAN do this". Best to you my friend with your mission...as I continue with my mission.
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        Nov 8 2011: Dear Colleen,
        Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.
        Taking care of ill and elderly people is not something we usually think of when we are young, right? As a matter of fact we aren’t interested and have no clue what it entails exactly. (Perhaps Paul Zak’s oxytocin spray could help out here :) This is, possibly, the reason why so many people usually avoid the responsibility and resulting in many lonely, depressed, neglected people in this world.
        Your brother is blessed to have you in his life. He will certainly experience that healing does not only come through the doctor’s hands but also through the loving care you surround him with. Things have a way of working out. I believe that.
        Much strength with your mission, dear friend.
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          Nov 9 2011: I agree Astra...
          Unfortunately, many people are lonely, depressed and neglected because we sometimes are afraid of illness and death. and we don't know what to do about it...how to "fix" it. I have learned much about myself and others, while taking care of sick and/or dying people. It is an opportunity that many people give up because of fear. One important thing is simply to "be there".

          My brothers, sisters and I are blessed to have each other. There have been many times in my life that they have physically, emotionally taken care of me, while encouraging and supporting me in the life journey. "He's not heavy...he's my brother":>)

          I agree...healing does not only come through the doctor's hands, but also through loving care that we can surround each other with. Thank you for your love and caring Astra:>)
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        Nov 8 2011: Thanks Don. I am very confident that things will work out. They always do, don’t they :) Some friends have already been so supportive and I must say that I also find strength though this TED forum (when I can slip away to my computer for a moment of serenity during the hectic day). Whether it is through enjoying the new stimulating TED talks, or reading the interesting opinions of others, or receiving heartwarming messages like these from fellow Tedsters.
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      Nov 8 2011: Astra, Yes, YOU CAN. In the future it will be something you will use to be certain that you can do anything. Hang in! This is a noble thing you are doing.
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        Nov 8 2011: Thanks Debra. As a matter of fact...I have already experienced quite a few trials that have probably prepped me for this occasion :) Whatever I have determined to do, I do so with dedication, meanwhile keeping some flexibility for the reality that life presents. This doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t get discouraged sometimes. Here is where wonderful encouraging comments like yours and other Tedsters do wonders :)
        And, as you mentioned, it will certainly add to my memory vault of things to draw strength from, should I have moments of self-doubt.
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      . . 100+

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      Nov 8 2011: Astra, some day you will need a nice break and thus I am sending you an open invitation to enjoy a stay at my home town as my guest for one week when that time comes.
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        Nov 8 2011: Juliette, I tried to email you through TED to tell you just how wonderful I think your response here is but your profile is protected. Thus, I am telling you here that I admire your open kind heart more than words can express. Its nice to know that there are people like you on this planet!
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        Nov 8 2011: Dear Juliette,
        That is such an awesome gesture. And you know what....You must have read my mind!!! Before my Mom’s predicament I had been contemplating travelling to the USA again for some time. But I must admit that the idea of the passing-through-the-immigration part was not a pleasant prospect. In the past I have visited quite a few wonderful places in the USA. It was back when it was normal to obtain a 10-year or permanent visitor’s visa. Over the years I have assembled a few personal immigration horror stories...although funny in hindsight :) I will tell you about them when I see you (after I have conquered my reservation about the immigration and customs :).
        There are many places in the USA that I would still like to visit and re-visit, like the Boston Botanical Garden (which I visited with my Mom). What better way to do that than with a kindred spirit?
        I am touched beyond words by your invitation. Trying to describe what I felt, when reading those words, would still not do justice to you. I just know I instantly felt understood.
        Thank you dear blessed friend.
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      Nov 8 2011: A considerate individual will protect his own health in order to traverse this life under his own steam and avoid burdening an offspring or relative. It can be done with a self reliant attitude, knowledge of proper nutrition and practice of healthy natural lifestyle elements. Disease does not just happen!
      Don't mean to sound cold, that is the reality of the situation. Having to care for someone that was either misinformed, medically mistreated or didn't care for them-self is maddening since compassion is such a strong moral imperative.
      The problem is that we live in a knowledge vacuum where widespread availability of true information on foods, toxins and natural prevention/healing methods is suppressed. Industrial foods create disease and pharma-care is not only illogical and statistically ineffective but has falsely discredited all other alternative healing methods.
      There are many resources to access scientifically objective health information, like the Weston Price Foundation and Mercola.com, that is not commonly available via commercial media.
      Every victim of unnecessary chronic disease and dementia claims another, the caregiver. Care-giving for extended periods of time is very stressful. FYI, that stress requires copious amounts of antioxidant/alkalizing nutrients to prevent oxidative cell and DNA damage,...and any emotional support possible.
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        Nov 8 2011: Dear T.C.,
        These are interesting comments (and much food for thought) to which I will certainly reply as soon as possible.
        Thank you.
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        Nov 10 2011: Dear T.C.
        My belated reply (part 1/3):
        Quote ‘A considerate individual will protect his own health in order to traverse this life under his own steam and avoid burdening an offspring or relative. It can be done with a self reliant attitude, knowledge of proper nutrition and practice of healthy natural lifestyle elements. Disease does not just happen!’

        You know, I have intrinsically (without consciously knowing why) always believed and lived this. I am always curious to know why people get ill because taking just myself as an example wasn’t enough for me to draw conclusions from. I have always been in excellent health and the rare bouts of flu or cold that I have had were all due to a combination of stressful times and not taking good enough care of myself. However, I haven’t made a study of it and I can only guess how others choose to arrange their lives and the health consequences thereof.
        With regard to the ‘avoid burdening an offspring or relative’ there is a twofold feelings I have. On the one hand I wouldn’t want to be a burden to anyone… ever, but again, I am not sure how much of that is all within our control. Can we control that life doesn’t offer us a bad curveball that lands us exactly in that spot of being dependent on the goodwill of others?
        On the other hand I believe that we are always dependent, in some form, upon each other. And we are what and who we are because of our experiences with people and circumstances and the way we choose to deal with them.

        Quote ‘Don't mean to sound cold’
        I don’t feel any coldness from you :) On the contrary, I feel the warmth of the effort to share your stimulating thoughts.
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        Nov 10 2011: (part 2/3)
        Quote ‘Having to care for someone that was either misinformed, medically mistreated or didn't care for them-self is maddening since compassion is such a strong moral imperative’.
        It is, isn’t it? Or it could be, but it doesn’t have to be. I believe that we step into this life with the wish to experience or explore certain ‘feelings’ (this word is limited in what I wish to convey but will have to do). That goes for myself, which I deal with as informed as possible, as well as for others, which I respect enough to not impose my believes on (I may give advice, and will offer help and assist when wanted).
        So, taking care of my mom is an experience mainly between her and me (the why of it is a Chapter on its own :) and of course there is a spin-off in experiences, for example, between her and her husband, her son; between me and my friends here and even between me and other TEDsters like you. There are lessons abound to be learned.
        Also….developments on all levels are speeding up and changing all the time. I sometimes feel bombarded with information on ‘new’ developments and that confuses me at times. Then there is research saying coffee is good for you, and then it isn’t…no wait it is, no wait it isn’t. The same goes for a long list of things. So imagine the confusion for someone 90 years old. Back in 1921 (not much information overload so) you just ate what you got. And still we live in ‘a knowledge vacuum’ with regard to proper nutrition and the acceptance of alternative healing methods. (In Suriname, however, the use and acceptance of alternative healing methods is very high. The use of proper nutrition…ehm, not so much :)On top of that, considering the wide variety in circumstances of people in this world, there will always be people who are differently informed about what you or I think a healthy lifestyle is, and with limitations of being able to do something about it.
        So…there will always be people in need of receiving and/or showing compassion.
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        Nov 10 2011: (part 3/3)
        Quote ‘Every victim of unnecessary chronic disease and dementia claims another, the caregiver. Care-giving for extended periods of time is very stressful. FYI, that stress requires copious amounts of antioxidant/alkalizing nutrients to prevent oxidative cell and DNA damage,...and any emotional support possible.’
        (Sigh ) I know. One of my friends here also volunteered the ‘cheerful’ news of a caregiver who was so absorbed in care-giving that she died before the patient did. Of course I’m not looking forward to THAT :). The thing is, I don’t believe in coincidences. It so happens that my circumstances allow for me, at this point in time, to be able to give care to my mother. So I do that, wholeheartedly. And I learn from it. It doesn’t mean that I’m always ‘on top of things’ or always have a sunny outlook (although I mostly do :). It is in those instances that I do appreciate ‘any emotional support possible’. I just know I learn from it, as I have with all experiences in my life. It is an adventure that I feel blessed about in advance to have experienced.

        I hope the above makes some sense to you. I would appreciate your advice on foods with the nutrients you mentioned.
        Thanks again for your comment it has given me the opportunity to put some of my thoughts to paper.
        Regards,
        Astra

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