TED Conversations

Ivana Gadjanski

researcher and project leader, R&D Center for Bioengineering - BioIRC

TEDCRED 500+

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Do you think it's too much to expect to have success both career- and love life-wise?

I presume we all wish to be successful in different aspects of life: career and private life. Sometimes it even seems easier, simpler to succeed in your job - I have personal experience with science-related profession hence my examples: You study a lot, you get good grades, you apply for scholarships, you apply for grants, you work hard, you do your networking, you keep informed, feed your curiosity and creativity supplemented with real data and facts. Of course, lots of factors can not be influenced, but there are even less for love, right? What do you think about this? How should one approach the questions of relationships? Is it all left just to chance, just to "let it happen" random approach?

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    Nov 25 2011: I'm going to go ahead and be incredibly old school here... with a modern twist... I think it is impossible for two people to have different careers, and be in a successful relationship. I think you can fall into the old model of provider and parent... Or you can share your work with your partner. Anything else is, of course, possible... but incredibly difficult.

    If you both want to build shelters... No problem, share your passion and mate like wild rabbits for eternity. If one of you wants to be an engineer, and the other one wants to be a parent... no problem. One mate works there ass off, and the other rubs their feet, cooks dinner, and takes the kids to museums and art galleries...

    If you both want to work, and you don't have similar ambition it is difficult to have a happy love life, and have time for your children. You really need a mate willing to dedicate themselves to being supportive of you if you want to have a happy family life, happy children, and a 50 hour a week job. Easier without kids, but still hard.

    The modern twist... The parent doesn't have to be a woman... Fulbright Scholar from Columbia, huh? Hey... How you doin? I like museums... You want a foot rub?

    ; p

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