- Chris Scott
- Milner, GA
- United States
This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »
What can we do about the constant rise of depression and suicide in young adults?
I am seventeen years of age and have recently come out of a large stage of my life where I dealt with a lot of depression. I have dealt with and still deal with people in high school (and even middle school in some cases) that deal with depression every single day and never have anyone that they talk to about their problems.
I have known people that have committed suicide from the weight of depression upon their shoulders throughout their lives, and have heard about these cases all over the world. I, myself, have been driven to the point where I thought that the only way out of my depression was by suicide because there was nothing to help me.
I want to know your opinions and ideas on the subject of depression and suicide in young adults today and what we can do to prevent these problems in the future. Thanks for listening!
Mark Meijer 100+
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C_40B9m4tI
Everything else, we add to it.
If you who are reading this is depressed, watch the above video. And while watching, see if you can pinpoint what the things are that depress you. Either external factors in your life situation, or internal in your emotional experience, or both. Can you see in what ways the thing in the video and all life on this planet are the same? Can you see what is different in your life than in all other life?
Look at your feelings, not think about them but observe them for a moment. Feel it, and find out what that place is where it comes from and returns to. Is it you? Are you those feelings? Are you the source of those feelings? Or do they come unbidden out of nowhere, just like the thoughts about things come unbidden out of nowhere? If you could actually choose, would you choose to think or feel this way? Of course not.
What is added to your life that depresses you, that makes it different from all life? Are you those differences, or are you life? As beautiful as all life, and the above video. Watch it again. You're seeing yourself. If you have a pet, watch your pet. If you're outside, watch birds. Watch the wind blow through trees, watch everything that moves. There's no judgement in any of those. That is what life is, and you are it too.
Lo Snofall
"The Calculus of Friendship - Steven Strogatz http://youtu.be/9piYoYqIf3I I loved watching this again today.
The Last Picture Show: Sweeping http://youtu.be/GgZx_vQcgHo And this brings out tears as always.
First Orbit - the movie http://youtu.be/RKs6ikmrLgg And this long breathtaking movie also. The incomprehensibility and beauty tearing apart something."
Quoting myself at the time.
My youngest brother, Daniel, committed suicide a few years ago. He was 35 years old and had probably been depressed for a long time. He made his first suicide attempt as a teenager.
After the incomprehensible extremeness of his action I did my best to ignore it. I hoped that he thought of it as a mistake and that it would never happen again. He seemed to be feeling better.
I could not help him.
Daniel was unusually kind and helpful.
I saw interviews with families and friends of persons who had committed suicide. They all characterised their lost ones as unusually kind and helpful.
Craig Patterson 10+
Until we grasp the depths of our denial, we can't possibly solve or even challenge the rise of depression.
Acknowledgment is always the first step. Denial will make things worse, always.
Lo Snofall
http://youtu.be/5Aj9r5Y3woY
...
What if when even a mania or psychosis doesn't seem to take you forward, maybe even makes you more confused, shifts into depression and total sense of meaninglessness, only in order for you to be able to start anew.
Maybe your next manic effort will take you a bit further than the last. Like trying to continue laying a very difficult puzzle (the foundation for your sense of judgment(?)) that needs all your skills in order to get clearer.
If even your psychotic abilities cannot help you grasp how to proceed - every new far-out way of looking at this puzzle fails - maybe the best way to continue is to leave it, get a rest, empty yourself of all granted, preconceived sense of outlook. Like in a depression.
Then try again, starting with the very simplest pieces of the puzzle, like food and sleep. Even having the feeling that this is enough and forget about the other pieces.Is this maybe the best ground for trying again? Nothing to lose and slowly regaining your interest. Working the puzzle from other angles, maybe remembering some of the things that felt right and important the last time, trying to fit them in but maybe in a new way, in a new place. Getting excited, overexcited, manic, psychotic. Not wanting to give up the most interesting and important task you have ever had. Until you're too exhausted and have to leave it again. Hopefully not giving it all up forever, but to regain the strength to try again.
With the knowledge that you can go back to the basic comforts whenever you fail. The awesome happiness of finding an important piece and a foolproof place for it - knowing that this will almost automatically lead to many other minor revelations. The awesome happiness.
Beste Arslan
Linda Hesthag Ellwein 50+
Mark Meijer 100+
http://www.liberationunleashed.com/
Mark Meijer 100+
This is the video I stumbled upon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTUzlMmmZbE
Here's a heartfelt clip about suicide:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EC61BodmKA
I haven't checked out much more yet, I'm not affiliated, I don't know anything else about him other than what you can find at any of the links in this post. But if this speaks to you, I can only suggest that you check out more of his stuff:
http://www.theministryofinspiration.com/
http://www.youtube.com/inspirationminister
http://www.youtube.com/MrBroadbandConscious
Freedom is real.
Lo Snofall
Today I learned that those experiencing sea sickness often feel slightly depressed before becoming actually sick and might even feel suicidal. (I heard it on a Danish science program on Norvegian television.) Sea sickness is the result of conflicting sensory information (from balance organs opposed to eyes) that creates a chaos. This internal chaos is speculated to be interpreted by our bodies as having been poisoned and results in vomiting.
I immediately thought of land based depressive and suicidal states. I think that the internal conflict due to unusual awareness of the discrepancies between our heart and our world results in a similar chaos. Our bodies rightfully think that secluded rest is needed for the brain to resolve matters. Often this works sufficiently to go on living, but sometimes the ability to understand extreme contradictions of viewpoints leaves no point of reference.
The sea sick feels better when steering the ship. How do we accomplish the feeling of steering our own ships in sometimes dangerous waters? I believe our heart is our compass.
Mark Meijer 100+
I agree that our heart is our compass. Instead of looking for the feeling of steering our own ships, or some other feeling that isn't there, a nice and worthwhile exercise is to simply look at feelings that are already there and let go of our interpretations for a second. Alongside those feelings and any other experience at that moment, will be thoughts about the experience. Those are the interpretations. Instead of taking those at face value, we can watch those thoughts come and go as just another part of that experience, without investing anything in them.
If we actually try this from time to time, we can see that those experiences can't actually touch us. Even if at first you're still inclined to get caught in a gut wrenching spiral, that too is only part of the experience, which comes, maybe sticks around for a while, and then goes if there's no more investment in it.
Colleen Steen 500+
I agree that our interpretations, expectations, reaching for a fixed point of reference, and investment in a certain outcome often color our experiences. Observing the thoughts come and go, and experiencing the "flow" of thoughts, rather than focusing on a certain thought, can sometimes allow us to move through thoughts and feelings that we prefer not to have. This practice works well for many people to interupt the depression "spiral".
With that said, we also need to be aware of clinical depression, which may be more difficult to deal with, and may need professional intervention.
Mark Meijer 100+
We are susceptible to issues because we interpret them as being personal. That belief is what causes us to constantly push and pull at whatever comes up, not realizing that we can never change the fact that it has already come up. We can't stop pushing and pulling until we stop believing that all the ups and downs of life are a personal affair. How this happens can be directly seen in one's own experience, and only when this is actually seen for what it is, can we decide to take it for what it actually is. Which is, not personal.
Lo Snofall
Depressions are like fever is to an infection and should be left to take its course in rest and solitude with help and support from persons close. If the depression has not diminished after some weeks some expert guidance is probably needed. Guided by someone who does not see the depression itself as the original sickness but as part of the cure.
A feeling of relative balance can be found when we calibrate our major thoughts and feelings to our heart. The heart has been shown to posess neurons like in our brain and there are two-way communications between heart and brain.
I believe in watching out for thoughts and feelings that are extrapolations from the compass of our heart. They are our points of reference, forever changing as we go.
Mark Meijer 100+
I agree that when in the midst of overwhelming turmoil, that might not be the best time to learn to let go of the need of a fixed reference point, because this requires a trust which is gained incrementally. But the problem is, when we do find something to hold on to, we think we're fine. Until inevitably the next turmoil comes along and we loose our footing once again. This is perfectly predictable, and yet we are content to let it surprise us over and over, and then we blame it on the lack of footing.
But when this pattern becomes apparent, there's another option to choose from. And that is to stop convincing ourselves time after time that whatever footing we may find, is there to stay. We already know it isn't, whether we'd care to face it or not. And the beauty of it is, those ups and downs are exactly why life can exist at all :). If we can see and appreciate this for what it is, without taking it personally each and every time we're riding the down slope, things will suddenly look whole a lot different.
Lo Snofall
I am at a loss to where I found the interesting information with speculations as to why humans through evolution have been equipped with the ability for being depressed. I believe it to be very probable that depression has benign functions.
Such as helping humans in dire emotional circumstances by inducing them to rest in solitude and for example either emptying their minds of thought and feeling or rethinking difficulties again and again. These states of mind maybe makes it easier for the unconscious to regroup and find a way to positively consolidate these new learnings into the system. If the depression can take its course you ultimately might emerge stronger.
I agree that we need the ups and downs to evolve beautifully. Each personal setback is a sign for us to try to overcome it in a way as to learn and grow. We can beautifully never predict what comes to us. And we can never know how we will evolve. We are all children of sorts. Learning gets easier when we acknowledge that comforting fact.
The ability to acknowledge our heart as our compass gives a point of direction that can be trusted whatever strange turns of directions life takes you in order to grow. Small obstacles might be overcome by ignoring them but some have to be mastered in order to be able to move forward.
Lo Snofall
Do you need to feel that at least some person genuinly cares about who you are? To feel that you are neither completely alone nor forced to comply wholly to others in order to find company. Maybe you can then find the courage to travel some distances alone. And feel confident that you will find others to accompany you on part of your ways, even if seemingly unchartered.
We suffer when alone and we suffer when in too restraining company.
How to navigate your own personal route while keeping in contact with those you love is often tricky.
You can believe that storms and narrow gaps are given as opportunities to become a better navigator. Nobody knows where they are going and that is beautiful. Take the time to read the compass when you suspect that you are lost. Find your bearing. Chris, it is there to find.
Juliette Zahn 50+
Mark Meijer 100+
Prakar Jeevan
Since you are of very young age, i suggest that you dont take any replies as the perfect answer. Instead discuss with your parents or guardians before taking a decision.
==========
My personal Opinion (Just an opinion, and i am not an expert or doctor in this field)
--------------
Suicidal thoughts arise because
"people think that they are unique and hence cant bear the pain of losing something that they desired. First they should understand that the world in which they are born is not theirs and has to be shared with others. "
Depression arises because of losing something that a person loved very much, or due to hate speaches against them by others, and various other reasons.
My simple suggestion would be,
"Whenever you are stuck with depression, immediately run to any local volunteering center , Like oldage homes, or handicapped homes or any animal service centers and start helping. See, how these people/animals face the world with all the challenges around them.
Get a firm opinion that
"I am not unique, What i do makes me Unique" and start servicing.
During these times of depression, i personall think that "vegetarian foods will give some peace of mind"
The body is designed in such a way that, there is no "kill me" or "delete me" button. Which means, nature does not want us to commit sucide.
We are created for some purpose. Though we cant find that purpose, we can surely service other living beings. When ever you get depression, first think
" I am not unique. There are millions of others, even babies suffering more than me. I am born to service and start doing service"
Patricia Larsen
Thomas Jones 100+
And if I might add: Not only will "it pass" but what awaits on the "other side" (of Depression) is wonderful. If someone were to ask me if I had to pay with Depression (which I have experienced!) for what I experience today, would I do it, the answer would be a resounding, "Yes!"
Pete Avitable
I don't know if there was more depression before the internet, I personally think the change of the standard american diet is the main cause of depression, but I agree that the internet can be very useful to help socialize. Here we are!
My fault for not reading thoroughly, yes I agree that educating people on the causes and possible treatments for depression would be a great step. Just from the comments on here we can see that people have many definitions for depression and some are confusing it with sadness or emotional pain.
Again I'm sorry I misunderstood,
Yuri Gomez
In this video, the author can explain "How" depression gets worse. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html
But It doesn't tell us "Why". I believe this "why" lies upon something else. The mind is a remarkable tool. it learns to act in response to a situation, so if we can recognize that something is "bad" or "wrong" the mind also understands, that "good" and "right" exist.
Now, We are looking for the best education, job, house, relationship. it seems that we always are looking for something. If We ask "Why" and the answer is, because is the "right" thing to live a "better life". We are in a paradox, it means that in the present, we are killing us("living bad") in order to get a "better living" in the future. We'll never get that future because "that thought" is a pattern in the mind. we could keep looking forever.
once we realize that thinking is a paradox. We can start looking somewhere else..
Mark Meijer 100+
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZIrFYtG14k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_1g2ynWsYA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYVWg_GJh4E
Thomas Jones 100+
I am reading the "The Optimism Bias - A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain" by Tali Sharot. She says:
"Rollo May, the American existential psychologist, said that depression is the inability to construct a future. As a matter of fact, clinically depressed individuals find it difficult to create detailed images of future events, and when they do, they tend to be pessimistic about them. Two brain regions have been identified as being particularly malfunctional in cases of depression, and the way these two regions communicate with each other is specifically abnormal. These structures are the amygdala and the rACC [rostral anterior cingulate cortex.]"
And:
"[An optimistic outlook results in enhanced activity] in two critical regions of [the] brain: the amygdala – that small structure deep in the brain that is central to the processing of emotion; and the rostral anterior cingulate cortex (rACC) – an area in the frontal cortex that modulates activity in regions that are important for emotion and motivation. The rACC [assumes] the role of traffic conductor, enhancing the flow of activity in subcortical regions when those [convey] emotions and associations." – Tali Sharot
Perhaps actively visualizing a detailed, and happy, future (even if we do not believe one is imminent) would help strengthen the connection between the amygdala and the rACC.
---------
Even though it's a bit awkward, I wrote "practicing imagining" because I know when one is experiencing depression, actually imagining a positive future is not at all easy. It would take "practice."
Craig Patterson 10+
Thomas, I believe Rollo May has hit the nail on the head. Depression is about not seeing a future that is worth living. That is the main theme of modern society, and the discussion of 'no future' now can be found in all segments of society, not just the marginalized or fringe. It's pervasive through-out society.
If we want to effective deal with depression in teenagers, we must give them hope about their future. And that directly conflicts with society's view of success 'those who got the gold, make the rules'. There is little commitment to sharing with other members of society who live today, forget those who come later. The greed of the present generations is off the charts, and thus depression of the young follows suit. It's a cycle only deep sharing will solve, in my humble opinion.
Dylan Gonzalez
As far as a solution to such a problem, become a listener. Most of the time I just someone to talk to in order to help me through my episodes. We need to let young people know that this hell they ar going through is only temporary and that most importantly that they are not alone
Linda Hesthag Ellwein 50+
M ER
Suicide is more prevalent in cultures where it is considered brave and honorable and where it is considered "an escape" from the harshness of your reality. Suicide can be spurred on by the medias positive portrayal of a suicide story and dampened by a negative one. Suicide, therefore, is caused in part by our discussion of it. There is also something called "the suicide impulse" where a person can suddenly decide that he/she wants to commit suicide and within seconds attempts to, without necessarily being depressed or ever have given it much thought.
There are also many people that are not serious about their suicide attempt, but are hoping to be found and saved before they die. This is a dangerous game and I believe feeds on our idea that suicide is the ultimate "cry for help" and expresses better than anything the anguish we are going through. I think there should not be a discussion of suicide in our society and if there is then a negative one, for this is one problem in which the solution does not lie in understanding it. This however is difficult and dangerous to do, for we cannot ignore the people that are in danger of committing suicide and we should do everything in our power to help them overcome the problems that are the real cause behind their drastic measures.
Mark Meijer 100+
So again we come back to believing our own thoughts about something. If the media puts suicide in a positive light, some people take that as truth. But obviously whatever the media says about suicide can never change any inherent reality of suicide. Suicide exists whether the media covers it or not. All the media can change is someone's beliefs about it. Now you suggest that we eliminate everything that can change someone's beliefs about suicide. That's a guaranteed failure, I hope you can see that.
It's like imposing peace on the world through force of arms. It can never work, the peace will not be peace, it will at best be a facade of peace, and a temporary one at that. It does not address the core issue. Same thing with suicide, it can't be eliminated by forcing out slanted stories about it. That's only a facade, and does not address any core issues. So this leaves the problem unaddressed while believing them to be addressed. That's even more dangerous.
M ER
"we cannot ignore the people that are in danger of committing suicide and we should do everything in our power to help them overcome the problems that are the real cause behind their drastic measures."
I only wanted to point out the effect discussions about suicide can have on actual suicide rates.
M ER
Mark Meijer 100+
I'm so glad you said this, Maria. This was basically my whole advice on your other post.
There is time to do just that, it's not going anywhere. But you can't have time if you don't take time. I'm sure there's some time you can take away from TV, even just a little bit during commercials. Turn off the sound or preferably the whole thing. Or if you can't, leave the room. Take an extended bathroom break. Who cares :P.
Also, when you're meeting with friends, or just walking down the street, or eating, brushing your teeth, going to bed, even while typing in TED comments... You can pay attention to yourself while doing all those things! Just pepper your day with brief moments like that. If it helps, close your eyes for a second and just feel how your body is breathing.
And don't do it with an intention to find calm. You may or may not find calm, but you already know you can't force it, and trying to force it will work counterproductively. So whether you're calm or not, pay attention to whatever way it is, not whatever way you want it to be. Those are just more thoughts.
M ER
Depression can be linked to many different things, like situations in life. Yet I think some reasons are largely overlooked. Depression is not always the result of a difficult situation in life like social standing, lack of money, disability etc. but can be the results of simply the persons brain or genes.
I, for example deal with depression, yet I have the most blessed life. If I had the option there would be nothing I would change, except perhaps have a bit more sun :) Depression can run in families and I believe I got it from my mothers side. My sister and me have both dealt with depression and my mother also, while she was alive, but not my father, and there is really nothing in my environment that causes it.
I believe every person has a kind of base happiness level and that search for happiness that is so prevalent in our culture to today is doing more harm than good.
I do not think that happiness should be set as a goal. There is no if you buy this you will be happier, if you didn't have this problem you would be happier. Rich people are often depressed even if they weren't so much before they acquired their wealth. And I think it's more this idea that is so dominant that there is some giant pot of happiness just waiting to be found. Happiness is more the journey it is the collection of a persons overall mood over a long period of time. Like snowflakes that fall from the sky collect on the earth to make a bedding. Do not wait for the giant football-sized hail-balls just stick your tongue out and enjoy the snowflakes.
Mark Meijer 100+
You say (paraphrasing) that some people are just fundamentally unhappy because of their brains or genes, despite otherwise favorable life circumstances.
But look at this quote from another post of yours: "This guy has these horrible problems and yet he is happy and enjoying life, so why can't we be like that? What is it about us that makes us unable to sustain our enjoyment and general happiness?"
You've already mentioned an important piece of the puzzle right there. The problem is not that you are fundamentally unhappy, but that there is apparently something preventing you from sustaining general enjoyment and happiness.
The fact that you want to "be like that" (enjoying life just like the guy from the youtube video), means that, in your heart of hearts, you already are like that. Otherwise, you wouldn't want to be like that, right? ;) The fact that you admire him for it, says something about your own values. So, something is standing in the way of you being the way you already are. That's good to know! So what is it that stands in the way? Ask yourself that question from time to time.
Ask yourself, for example, does it make you happy or unhappy, to always be mulling on thoughts like this one: "Why can't I be like that?"
Important clue here, and it's the same one that works for the guy in the youtube video. Those thoughts that determine your mood, are bound to arise. And when they affect your mood, even more of the same thoughts will arise, and your mood gets even worse. It's a vicious cycle. But you can't stop those thoughts by force, and you can't change your mood by force, so what now?
Think about it, what does the guy from the youtube video do? Do you think he never had thoughts like that? Or that he never had those thoughts influence his mood? Of course he has. So how does one step out of that vicious cycle?
Mark Meijer 100+
Soon enough, your brain will see this. And it will become instantly clear to you that those thoughts are only hindering you and not adding any value whatsoever. What's more, they're not even true. They only become true when you believe in them. When you believe a thought that says "I am not like that guy", then you aren't. Why? Because that guy does not believe such thoughts. Once you clearly see that you really have no reason at all to believe such thoughts, and you have every reason to stop believing them, you're there! Thoughts will continue to play out, moods will continue to play out, but now you stop feeding them and the cycle will wind down.
If any of this makes any sense to you at all, take this as your practice. Whenever you're having such thoughts, or moods, or both: Observe and acknowledge them to yourself. Don't jump right back into thoughts like "yeah whatever". Those are thoughts produced by a brain that does NOT want to see what it's doing! Don't even analyze their content or origin or whatever, this only produces more thoughts ABOUT the thoughts and the moods, and again you're not observing. Show your brain what it's doing, and trust that every time you do this, it will undermine the habit. Don't think. Look.
Mark Meijer 100+
James Turner 10+
I am 60 years old and have had to deal with depression all my life. I have finally found a way that gives me hope and peace and satisfaction with life as I live it. I have found heros. As a kid I had heros and then during my tennage years the anti-hero was popular. I also turned to the world to find my peace. I found I cannot allow others to define whom I am. I must define myself. I looked to the desert fathers of about 30 to 100 AD. They went to the desert to find themselves and found that they had to fight each moment for themselves against themselves. I then found the Celtic Saints and found that I am OK just the way I am. I am part of the wonderful thing we call the universe. Each day I am grateful to be part of it. I love to look to nature and creation and see that each thing is beautiful with in itself. I pray constantly and give thanks for each good thing. I look for the good in others and find that helping them is very satisfying. Each animal, plant, bird, reptile and bug is alive and giving of itself to the beauty of creation. May I pray for you that you will find the beauty in yourself that is truly there and let it guide you not the voice of the world but that quiet inner voice that calls out to you in the times you find peace. Find a place that you find peace and go there often. Memorize that place the smell, the feel, the sounds, the heat, the cold and then use your imagination to go there when you feel stressed.
I teach school and have had many depressed students and loved them as they are and encouraged them to do as I am you. You will find inner peace when you seek it. Not instantly but over time a little bit at a time. Be patient with yourself and others. Find the good in yourself and share it at every chance. Bless others each moment of every day.
James
Dylan Gonzalez
You offer a very interesting perspective. I imagine that the choice between life or death is one between a certainty of the pain to stop and a mystery of the life ahead. Though one can even say that death is the ultimate mystery and a positive life can have a minute degree of certainty to it (definitely from the perspective of an optimist). Even as I am typing this I am realizing that such a choice really is a lot harder than it seems. Even hypothetically speaking, let alone as a serious decision in a moment of darkness.
Mark Meijer 100+
I've written this before in a comment on the related talk page, but what got me through initially was to remind myself that the option of suicide will always be there later. For now, let's just see what happens. It's a process, but it is thoroughly worth it.
This may sound like a weird advice, and it's really up to you. But if you like listening, get your hands on a CD set by Alan Watts called "Out of Your Mind". Don't take anything literally or seriously (and Alan Watts would be the first to tell you not to), just take it in as a different way of looking at things. We create this problematic world because of the way we look at things. So, least you can do is try on some different shades. And as long as you're feeding your thoughts, might as well feed it with something useful and less depressing ;). If you can't afford the CD set, I'll pay for it. If you like it, you buy a copy for someone else. It's available at amazon, as an actual CD set and as an mp3 download.
Try this on for size:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN15Ohevar0
.
Mark Meijer 100+
Second, consider what this means. What if the reason so many people are depressed, is because they just don't see the point of this kind of straightjacket of a life that we're apparently born to?
Believe it or not, but that is good news. Just imagine, how many generations were enthralled by the idea of a certain idealized way of living. Only knowing the idea, the thoughts and (mostly) assumptions about future, but never knowing the reality of where they were, or where they were headed. But you do. And, again, you're not the only one.
What remains is to stop believing the ideal as an indication of something that we don't measure up to. There's the tough part, because you'll feel like you get sucked in time after time. But then you should remember, that's not true. That's just the thoughts in your head telling you that you're getting sucked into something. And it's just thoughts telling you that you were born into a straightjacket, or that you're somehow inadequate. Don't believe those either.
Reality check! This will free you. Simple reality check. No hypothesizing, no theorizing, no "what if" or "yeah but". Use your senses. When in doubt, observe! That's it. Instead of getting immersed in a self-repeating spiral of depressing thoughts, turn the attention to actual, tangible experience, right here, right now. And whenever you feel bad, see what it was that dragged you back into those spiraling thoughts. And understand, those are just thoughts, not reality. Thoughts play on the mind like wind on the trees. It comes and goes, bla bla bla bla, and they represent only what we want them to represent. Don't take them at face value.
(continued)
Dylan Gonzalez
Suicide, to put it plainly, is giving up. As harsh as it sounds, that is the truth. We must be strong and understand that life has to go on. I think often about suicide. I write about a lot in lyrics and poems. Though I never considered it as a legitimate option, it still has a presence in my mind.
The most effective way I combat my depression is by living my life with a vengeance. I try to make every day an adventure and constantly change my routine. Sadly I am alone in this concept because most of the people I know like to "play it safe". I am not impulsive, but rather when I die and my life shall flash before my eyes, I want to make it worth watching.
Another issue I have to deal with is that my "living life with a vengeance" philosophy often manifests itself as self-destructive behaviors. I hope one day I can resolve that before it is too late
Linda Hesthag Ellwein 50+
I'm glad to hear you write lyrics and poetry, because you certainly have a writer within! I hope you continue to refine this craft. I believe you have a gift. Who knows - it may be your calling, and why you feel so deeply. That said, I know what it is to live life with a vengeance. I recall a time when I, too, included self destructive behaviors in my description of living life fully. I thought it was a way to experience life in all it's glory, until it occurred to me that self destruction is not living -- and I didn't want to die. I stopped most behaviors that created needless or negative drama in my life, or made me feel badly afterwards. I asked for support from people close to me - and receiving it made me feel more alive than ever. I still have some vices, but since then - I was 24 - my life has been the true adventure, because I authentically feel who I am at all times. I've lost many friends, needlessly, over the years due to their self destructive behavior. It's my hope you leave those behaviors in the past - sooner, rather than later. The real adventure is on the other side of them! I promise it's true!
You have so much to offer the world. I hope you're around for a very long time. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for your name on a best seller one day!
Simone Lackerbauer 100+
Do you post your poems somewhere online, for example on deviantART? Readers' comments can be very encouraging and help work up your emotions.
Frans Kellner 100+
Do you keep a diary?
If not it may work for you.
Colleen Steen 500+
Mark Meijer 100+
Here's perhaps a different way of looking at it. Maybe harsh as well. Or is it? You decide :).
Suicide is much harder than giving up. Let's face it, killing yourself is not easy! So what is giving up? How about this: Stop fighting against either life or death. Existence, in and of itself, is not a struggle. A challenge, sure. Not a struggle, unless you make it one. Give up the need to wrestle everything into submission, or there will be no end to it. Even suicide is a wrestle. It's not like it's the easy way out. So why not give that up too? ;)
You say suicide still has a presence in your mind. Don't worry about that. And don't worry about being alone in not playing it safe. Your thoughts aren't clouding over your heart, and that's all you need. As for the living life with a vengeance becoming destructive, here again you are already listening to your heart, because that's why you see it. So, you have nothing to prove anymore, to yourself or anyone else, about how you should live your life. If you can live it without making a point of it, then no more destruction.
Linda Hesthag Ellwein 50+
Also, anger is not only a prerequisite to depression, it is also an expression of feeling victimized or out of control. Or it can simply be related to testosterone levels. If anger is directed at those who have wronged you, have something you don't, or situations you cannot control - such as being a square peg in a round hole in a system you feel stuck in, or authority figures you don't agree with, yet must obey - change your reality or stop giving them power. I realize this is easier said than done, but it is that simple.
Sometimes anger serves too. It can be a catalyst for creativity and expression if channeled well, and not turned inward or towards someone else.
Colleen Steen 500+
It's always good to consider another perception. Perhaps it is an individual's perception in any given moment? Life and death can both be challenging, and I agree with you that anything we struggle against is probably going to be much more challenging. Struggling, wrestling with, or fighting against something is resistance to what "is", and usually causes the challenge to be more difficult.
I remember 35 years ago, when I contemplated ending my life. I was diagnosed with degenerative disc dis-ease...a progressive degeneration in the spine, which generally causes pain and disability.
I was only 30 years of age...why me?...how can this happen to me?....What will my life be like if I am totally disabled? Poor me!!!
I was on pain meds, in traction, wore a neck brace, and was unable to do very much because of pain. After wallowing in pity for awhile, I decided to live, and if I was going to live, it was going to be with gusto!!! Once I could answer the question "why me", with "why NOT me", I could move past the speed bump:>) I took control of my physical and emotional health.
I sometimes felt like a fish in the big ocean, getting pummelled by the sea, caught in the kelp beds, caught on the fisherman's hook, threatened by bigger fish. I learned to swim with strength, and I learned that I could swim confidently through the kelp beds...I learned how to swim around the fisherman's hook and bigger fish. Life felt like a system I was stuck in, as Linda insightfully says, until I changed my perception of life.
We need to stop giving situations or people power over us. We need to take control of our lives, and I also agree that anger can be a catalyst for creativity when channeled appropriately. I read a great little book back then, that helped change my thinking/feeling about myself and the role I play in the life experience..."Pulling your own strings", by Wayne Dyer.
Mark Meijer 100+
http://markmeijer.blogspot.com/2010/12/thou-shalt-surf.html
:)
Colleen Steen 500+
That is another good way of saying something very similar:>)
"To stave off drowning, dive down and embrace it
The sea will spit you back, astonished!"
(David Brendan Hopes from "A Sense of the Morning - Nature Through New Eyes")
Mark Meijer 100+
Colleen Steen 500+
"Out of its abysses, unpredictable life emerges, with a never-ending procession of miracles, crises, healing and growth. When I realize this once again, I see the absurdity of my belief that I can understand, predict and control life. All I can really do is go along for the ride, with as much consciousness and love as I can muster in the moment".
(Molly Young Brown)
This was sort of my mantra during the near fatal head/brain injury and cancer:>)
Like you say Mark...Thou shalt ride the surf!
Colleen Steen 500+
If anyone is feeling low or depressed, take a look at this young man, what challenges he was born with, and his attitude about life:>)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE
M ER
I am a teenager myself dealing with these problems, and have gone to numerous programs for youths like myself where we were told countless stories like this. And for a short while afterwards myself and others I spoke with felt better, inspired and as if we could conquer anything. But when time wore on depression settled again and as we remembered the stories they served not as a source of inspiration but as agony.
"This guy has these horrible problems and yet he is happy and enjoying life, so why can't we be like that? What is it about us that makes us unable to sustain our enjoyment and general happiness?"
There is of course nothing wrong with stories like this and I admire every individual who has overcome depression and difficult circumstances but they do not touch on this particular problem. Every person, young or old, dealing with depression has to be approached from a unique angle. There is no one solution that works for everyone.
Colleen Steen 500+
You are absolutely right, that stories like this may or may not inspire individuals, and there is no one solution that works for everyone. I agree..."Every person, young or old, dealing with depression has to be approached from a unique angle", which is difficult to do on a public forum. At least stories like this helped you to feel better "for a short while afterwards"? That's good isn't it?
You say that "as time wore on depression settled again". It's important to use whatever practice or method you believe may contribute to a change for you. There may be several different factors that cause you to be unable to sustain your enjoyment and general happiness. You are very insightful in realizing that "there is no one solution that works for everyone".
Many people on this thread have offered some suggestions, and no one knows for sure what might work for you or anyone else. I do not offer my story, or the story of others, believing that it will solve the challenge for anyone. I offer it only as another possibility. It is up to you, and maybe a health care provider, to take the steps you think may help you move through depression. My love is with you Maria:>)
Christina Reyes
Many people go through this ordeal more often than we think. Or there are more people who think about this than we care to admit. I think the first real step is seek professional help. A depressed person may need some kind of treatment or therapy. I once knew somebody who was frequently depressed it turned out she had hypothyroidism. It could be real depression though for some people so it's important to seek treatment.
Then, also people need to have a better perspective. Is death the end of it all? It's a morbid question but suicide is a solution for some because they think it's the end of it all. I thought so before but now I have my doubts. Am I 100% sure if it's the end of everything? All the talks here on TED does not give any answer lol except for a few perhaps. What if it's not? Then maybe people need more hope in this life.
siyaf khan
:)
Adam Scislowicz
My late teens were at times very difficult too. I do think as you point out some underlying trends have made that period even harder on individuals as of late. I know of no silver bullet but if you hang in there better times will likely come. The fact that you come here for answers makes me confident that you are navigating this complex and chaotic world effectively, even though it may not feel like it at the moment. It is through the diversity and depth of your social connections and intellectual pursuits that you will be able to find meaning and pleasure in life. On a slight tangent check out this video by Sir Ken Robinson, I think it may be related to the increase in the rate as you mention: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U
I think addressing the issues described by Sir Ken Robinson in the above video is part of the solution. I feel the issue is wider then that though, and rooted in culture. I think there is great hope today as the internet is allowing culture to become more reflective and so evolve faster. So fast you can almost feel it now from the right perspectives, but maybe not obviously visible yet in the main stream media. I am always available to discuss things further if you are interested, and I may be able to get you in touch with some of the more progressive movements and organizations via the internet where there is meaningful work and rich discussions ongoing. These activities are by no means limited to the internet, but it is one place to make the initial connections and more and more systems/services are facilitating real-world collaboration spring-boarded via internet meetings. (http://menemania.typepad.com/helene_finidori/2011/05/shared-intent-and-purpose-for-action.html)
Warm Regards,
Adam
Denomyar 01