A conversation on TED.com: Does everything happen for a reason?

Silvia Marinova
Sofia
Bulgaria

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Does everything happen for a reason?

These days there's nothing which happens accidentally.
We meet the people we need to meet.
We go to places we have to go.
We live the way we choose to.
There's simply some universal righteousness. :)
Do you believe that or you have something else to add?

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Closing Statement from Silvia Marinova

WOW! And that only in a day? I cannot believe that it turned out to be such a nice conversation.
@Bob Van Oosterhout - you are entitled to your own opinion still I hope that you understood what the others meant to say.
@Matthieu Miossec - your answer appealed to me the most! Thanks for your input.
@ Colleen Stein - Yes, there is negativity (not just perception 'because sometimes bad things were just meant to happen for no apparent reason when occurring so this is just real time pain. Expectations are pretty much a tricky concept and as much as I like the idea of letting go of them I haven't achieved it so far! And so they exist and make life more complicated at times. :)

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Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
- 0
Oct 2 2011: I believe it is a bit of a stretch to say there is a preordained reason for every moment in our lives. That seems to contradict the concept of free will. However, we do have the option of taking full advantage of the opportunities available in each moment and can thereby create a "reason" for that moment.

Focusing on the "reasons" for past events would seem to take us away from realizing the opportunity in moments spent on that reflection. That seems unreasonable to me.
- Colleen Steen 200+
  - +3
  Oct 2 2011: It is indeed a "stretch" if that is not part of one's belief system. It does not contradict the "concept of free will" at all, when/if we believe that we participate in the process of creating our lives and the outcomes.
  
  Sorry that "reflection" seems "unreasonable" to you Bob. In my perception, that is very much a part of the process by which we learn, grow and evolve:>)
  - Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
    
    +1
    Oct 3 2011: Colleen, I decided a few weeks ago (after your last series of comments to my posts) not to respond to your comments any more. It seems reasonable to explain why and your above comment to provides clear examples of the patterns I saw in your other responses.
    
    Your first statement "It does not contradict the "concept of free will" at all, when/if we believe that we participate in the process of creating our lives and the outcomes." does not respond to the point that there is a contradiction between believing in free will and that events are scheduled to occur at a time and place for a particular purpose or reason.
    
    Your second statement takes a term I use out of context. I in no way imply that "reflection seems unreasonable." I stated that "reflection on the reason behind past events" was unreasonable because it was a distraction from being present in the moment.
    
    I genuinely appreciate people who challenge my views and understanding but your tendency not to address points made and pull terms out of context feels more like a kind of game of gotcha. I choose not to play.
    
    Although I am frustrated with your responses to my posts, I mean no disrespect and hope that this comments leads to reflection that helps you to learn, grow, and evolve. If I were commenting in such a way, I would want someone to point it out to me.
    - Matthieu Miossec 100+
      
      +2
      
      TED Translator Associate
      
      Oct 3 2011: Actually, what Colleen Steen expressed is the Compatibilist interpretation of free will, which is perfectly legitimate and endorsed by people like Daniel Dennet. I also agree with her sentiment that there's a cause for every effect (I'd be careful about calling it a reason, but it's the same idea nonetheless) and that it really isn't such a stretch to believe given the laws of nature. I hope this will incite you to continue the dialogue with Colleen. I cannot comment on your previous exchanges, but here I think her answer is perfectly legitimate.
  - Helen Hupe 20+
    
    +2
    Oct 3 2011: Those who take no time to listen and digest information never put the pieces together.
Wayne Roberts
- 0
Oct 2 2011: Probably similiar to the post by Juliette, quoting Steve Jobs, but for me, I am a great believer in the 'after event reflective state', otherwise knolwn as fate. I think that there is a game plan worked out for us and we cannot change that plan, merely influence the effect and cause at that moment along the timeline . Everything happens and we are only able to reason the 'why' afterwards as we replay the process and steps that led to that event. It is then that we like to apply a reason, a conclusion, an understanding that will allow us to accept what has happened. We learn from the event and that learning can be used to help ourselves to carry on and others who may be experiencing the same or similiar events in their lives.
- Colleen Steen 200+
  - +1
  Oct 2 2011: I suggest that there may be some sort of "plan" which we ourselves orchestrate, and within that plan, we have many choices:>)
  
  We can sometimes understand the "why" in the moment, if we are aware, mindful, and in tune with our body, heart and mind.
Juliette Zahn 30+
- 0
Oct 2 2011: Wonderful !! Thank you Colleen, for giving me hope - I will practice "letting go" with expectations, while being aware and mindful, to achieve " real-time " connection. It will be a major break through in my case. :) lol.
Matthieu Miossec 100+
- +1
TED Translator Associate

Oct 2 2011: If by reason you mean cause, I would agree with you. Everything effect has its causes, all the way from the start of the universe. Now is there some sort of motivation for what happens, as if some human-like force was orchestrating our lives? There I would say no. Terrible events befall innocent people, leaving only the lucky ones amongst us to say that life has been kind to them.

I think the fact that important events (those that are meaningful to us) in our life are more vivid then the rest, give these more gravity and makes for a life which looks motivated by some conscious force in retrospect. Making reasons as we go, as Gerald O'Brian puts it, is far more likely.
Juliette Zahn 30+
- +1
Oct 2 2011: I love how Steve Jobs shared with us from his life experience, that we can only "connect the dots " after the fact. My life experience has brought me to believe there are no coincidences & the precision is actually phenomenal. Somehow everything shows up as we become ready to receive it. This is extremely hard to see in the moment of the experience, but afterwards it becomes crystal clear why it had to be.

Thank you Silvia for another fabulous question.
- Silvia Marinova 20+
  - 0
  Oct 2 2011: You're welcome. :) I totally agree with you! Steve Jobs is a wise man.
- Colleen Steen 200+
  - +1
  Oct 2 2011: I believe that if we are living a life that is aware and mindful, we can connect some of the dots as we go along:>) Sometimes it's difficult to see the possibilities in the moment because we have certain expectations and believe things "should" be a certain way. When/if we let go of our expectations, the possibilities are unlimited:>)
  - Juliette Zahn 30+
    
    +1
    Oct 2 2011: Wonderful !! Thank you Colleen, for giving me hope - I will practice "letting go" with expectations, while being aware and mindful, to achieve " real-time " connection. It will be a major break through in my case. :) lol.
    - Colleen Steen 200+
      
      0
      
      Oct 2 2011: If it's any consolation Juliette, it's a "major break through" in the lives of many people...especially in western cultures:>)
Colleen Steen 200+
- +1
Oct 2 2011: Hi Silvia,
Does everything happen for a reason? Or...can we find a reason for everything? Maybe both? Personally, I don't think there are any coincidences. I agree that meeting people at the "right" time, being in the "right place at the right time", recieving information when we need it, having certain life experiences, all offer us opportunities. I believe there is a universal energy, and as we live our lives within that energy, certain opportunities present to us. We then have a choice as to how we will use the information.

When I was younger, I sometimes held onto feelings of frustration, confusion, anxiety, displeasure, etc., when something didn't go as I desired. Days, weeks, months or years down the road, I realized what I had learned from the experience. I realized that life was a process about learning and it is the journey that is important, so I began to move directly to the learning in the moment. I don't always know the reason in the moment, but I am open to the possibilities in each and every moment:>)
- Silvia Marinova 20+
  - 0
  Oct 2 2011: Being opened to newness is so important. Thanks for pointing that out for us Colleen. :) I also made this decision myself to let go of negativity faster and to learn from every experience!
  - Colleen Steen 200+
    
    0
    Oct 2 2011: So, if everything happens for a reason, is there actually any "negativity"? Or is it our perception of what it is "supposed" to be like, and our expectations?
Debra Smith 100+
- 0
Oct 2 2011: Over the course of my more than 50 years I still find that the jury within me is still deliberating on this one. I do know that every bad experience of my life left me with some gift of understanding that I redeemed from it. Even the end of my almost 30 year marriage when I thought the everything was over for me has opened up the possibilities for a more wonderful life that fits me even better. So was the most wrenching experience of my life for a reason or do I find good rationalization and new schemas to go on living? I do not know but i am glad that the human spirit has this capacity.
- Silvia Marinova 20+
  - 0
  Oct 2 2011: I'm surely glad too we have that capacity. :) Thank you for the inspiring words Debra!
James Kindler 10+
- +2
Oct 2 2011: I believe everything happens for a reason, you may not always know the reason right away but everything is for a reaon in my opinion.
lynn eschbach 30+
- +2
Oct 2 2011: I believe that when one decides to learn, a teacher will be there.
- Silvia Marinova 20+
  - 0
  Oct 2 2011: So true! Thanks for your input lynn. :)
Gerald O'brian 30+
- +1
Oct 2 2011: Isn't it more likely that you're making up reasons as you go?
- Silvia Marinova 20+
  - +1
  Oct 2 2011: It's a concept to ponder on ... overall I think YES. Still sometimes I feel there's a greater purpose to it.
- Colleen Steen 200+
  - +2
  Oct 2 2011: "Making up reasons as you go" may be part of the creative process of the life journey. How do we "make up reasons"? With information we have in our heart and mind...imagery...creative energy...knowledge, and a desire to find answers:>)