Silvia Marinova


This conversation is closed.

What is the greatest thing about being a woman?

It's officially in the statistics that the number of men in some regions (like my country) is going down. There are two or three single women for each single man. Anyway having that in mind + the increasing role of women in the political and business life I consider it essential that women should rediscover their standpoint and look again at their true identity so that we can understand ourselves better.

Happened to watch an interesting movie on the topic last weekend at my friend's place:
It dawned on me how little we know about ourselves and our body. SO I'm gonna start by proposing a few things that we, women, should be grateful about and are pretty good at:
1. We can feel how life grows inside us.
2. We can wear high-heels and walk gracefully with them.
3. We don't have hairs on our face.
4. We can wear make up without being ridiculed and labelled about it.
5. Most of us can dance pretty well.
6. Mood swings are predictable with us.
And the most significant: We have a Moon inside us. :D

Closing Statement from Silvia Marinova

As this topic has ended we all agreed that it's a controversial one. :) Overall though, there was more positive that negative output. We all seem to agree that both men and women are incredible. We are all worthy of respect and celebration as humans. The best things about women seemed to be the qualities which are considered most typical for us: influential speech, deep connection with others, emotional capacity, etc. All in all I found the opinions enriching and challenging which I find quite useful! :) Thanks to all for the input and TED for providing the opportunity and the help.

  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: Women, men, whoever, are individuals that are worth celebrating. People have spent way too much time trying to define roles in life by gender. Each person is a gift to be celebrated. Each one has talents, ideas, thoughts, and feelings that are unique and beautiful. It is a wonder to see a person, regardless of gender, discover who they are and where their talents are. They may choose to break a cultural mold and live a different way and that too can be celebrated. They may choose to rise to the heights of power, wealth and fame and still be growing spiritually. That is a beautiful thing to behold. We develop by listening, helping, and seeing each other as individuals to be celebrated. I am glad you have this list posted and wish you the richest life possible
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: Again another great male perspective! Thank you James!
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Silvia,
      I LOVE being a woman...I LOVE every single aspect of being a woman. Since you presented this question, I have been pondering what might be the "greatest thing about being a woman". I couldn't come up with the "greatest thing". So, I pondered the process of there anything I do not like about being a woman? No...I failed again to come up with the "greatest thing".

      I agree with James, in that we spend a lot of time seperating and trying to define ourselves by gender, when, in fact, we are all individuals whose lives can be celebrated in so many ways. I can only say, that the greatest thing about being human, is other humans:>)
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: Colleen said:'The greatest thing about being human, is other humans".

        Simply awesome! (But I really am grateful for the chance to experience life as a woman too!)
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: i love your replys colleen; and i think your really fair...also how you can't find anything you don't like about being a women. haha how awesome.
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: Well yeah Benny boy,
          If I discovered something I didn't like, I'd either change it, or accept it...those are my choices:>)

 more choice...complain about it.....
          I've noticed that nobody listens to someone who complains a lot anyway, and it's kind of wasted energy in my humble opinion:>)
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Great observations you make with plenty of fine good-will. In my view they are correct and I accept them.

      However, I shall allow myself to become critic in my next comment. I shall try to show the hidden weakness in asking the source question of this conversation.
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: AWWWW Yubal.........let's just stay with great observations and good will:>)
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: Hi Colleen Steen,

          There's no need to be concerned. Suppose I have some criticism for the main question, so what ??? Perhaps you and others can learn from my remarks, like I sometimes learn from women's or men's remarks about my posts. Or perhaps you will be able to show me where I am wrong and I shall learn from you. What's the big deal ???
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: I was making a joke Yubal. I appreciate your comments:>)
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: I love great observers, non-judgemental chicks are awesome because of their awareness.
    • thumb

      . .

      • 0
      Sep 24 2011: I don't know what to add to all that has already been said here especially - so comprehensively well by James.
  • thumb
    Sep 26 2011: There's one time when me and my friends sitting in a car with a Tibetan driver and we kinda of joked around and laughed out in the back seats. After a while the driver suddenly turned around, looking seriously and said :"no tibtan man would want to marry some women laughing so loud!"we stopped and looked at each other and asked him:"really?"(almost excited)he replied :"If you are a tibetan woman and laugh like this , you will never get married!"(I doubt he said this is out of his personal likes or dislikes or it is true in Tibtan culture) latter ,I thought this driver might just want to quiet us down which he didnt clearly express.(actually we laughed as loud as we had been) Also ,we are not "threatened" by what he said at all , instead , Im happy that i dont fit in what they think a woman should or should not do. this also reminds me of women in different cultures without much freedom to express who they are.

    Being a woman ,which I try to figure out seriously what dose it really mean only in recent 2 years.(Im 26) The greatest part is that I realise how much a "woman" i can be and how much a "man" i can be as well. I agree totally with Frans that each individual woman is complete (whole).That means i dont need another person to make me whole but really keep my eyes open and seek to meet the "other- half" inside , discover and embrace the wholeness no matter where i am in my life.
    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: Such a great story! Thank you for sharing. That's the kind of thing I was aiming at with this thread! :D
      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Thank you for bringing up this topic because i think its quite important for us to be aware of our own situations and share with each other.You have done a great job so far !
  • thumb
    Sep 24 2011: Silvia the greatest thing is your very existence.
  • thumb
    Sep 24 2011: Perhaps the greatest thing about a woman to me is that they give me inspiration. Life is deeper, more meaningful when a woman is involved. I love the recent tedtalk By Philip Zimbardo on the subject of what males are lacking in today's modern society. I'll search the link and share.
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: James Brown wrote a song about this. "What's a man without a woman."
      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Pretty much every song a man has ever been written has in some way been inspired by a woman or written about one... Its the nature of music as an art form and a form of emotional communication.

        I would not have picked James Brown as an example, though. Just my taste. More inclined to listen to Van Morrison when it comes to songs on the subject of women.
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Please, share a song with us, Jim. :) It'll be lovely if you do!
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Jim, Silva and Frans --

          You've got the beginnings of another TED Conversation, don't you think?

          I few I like: Bryan Adams "When a Man Loves a Woman," Eric Clapton's "You Look Wonderful Tonight." For the mom's -- divine or not Andrea Bocellii's "Ave Maria. And for all regardless gender "One" by Bono.

    • Comment deleted

      • thumb
        Sep 25 2011: Blaine, I doubt you have not taken your medicine today. Lets repect each others thoughts.
        • thumb
          Sep 25 2011: Blaine, I am deeply sorry for the pain you seem to have endured but you have really lost it when you speak to someone like Rafi who is living and working as a citizen of Afghanistan, working to make a better life for so many there and call him a COWARD??? You seem to think you have it so much harder and that your perspective is so much more hard done by from comfy old Canada. Your racism and your prejudice makes me wonder how we can come from the sam e planet let alone the same country. Please do not wonder who flagged your comments. It was me. I did it for your attack on the principles of human rights. By the way, before you decide that you have been attacked by another 'white female monster' keep in mind that I am a Heinz 57 or a mutt not a pure bred anything.
      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Blaine --

        White men, by and large, are the people running the pharmaceutical companies and making big money selling these drugs you claim white women are forcing on boys.

        And three white men: Harvard University Medical School educators -- all Boston Mass General psychiatrists: Drs. Timothy Walens, Thomas Spencer and Joseph Beiderman have been widely published in medical journals and well-paid by Big Pharma for their pediatric psycho-pharamacuetical efforts.

        They've also been investigated by Congress for pushing these drugs. Combined they've received $4 million dollars in fees that violate both Harvard and National Institutes of Health policies.

        Beiderman, "the father of pediatric psychiatry" for his ADHD and bi-polar research failed to report $1.6 million dollars in fees from nearly ten pharmaceutical companies for pediatric anti-psychotic drug he recommended for the treatment of bi-polar in children as young as two. His work fueled a 40-fold increase from 1994 to 2003 in the diagnosis of pediatric bipolar disorder.

        The person at the university most vocal about these questionable relationships? A white pathologist, Dr. Marcia Angell.

        Though a white colleague, hematologist Dr. Tom Stossel, pitched a major battle to stop her. His brother Fox News' John Stossel (formerly with ABC) has criticized the FDA for not allowing drugs onto the market fast enough.

        All the psychiatrists remain on staff at both Harvard and Mass General pediatrics unit.

        Not to imply that all white men in general are the bad guys. In fact, the person other than Marcia Angell most vocal about this all? Congressman Charles Grassley, who is white..

      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Blaine - I'm unpacking from a trip and will get back to you on this.
  • thumb
    Sep 28 2011: What is the best thing about being a woman? Being exactly what she is nothing more or less.

    Women are fantastic. What would we do without them?

    Men are fantastic. What would we do without them?

    Both clearly have many unique qualities that differentiate them as a sex and as individuals. They are neither equal nor equivalent nor opposites. Men and Women are complementary.
    • thumb
      Sep 28 2011: QUOTE: "Men and women are complementary."
      You nailed it there. :) Thanks for your input!
  • thumb
    Sep 25 2011: Dear Silvia,

    The greatest thing about being a woman is simply being one, whatever that may represent for each individual. I have no idea what it's like to be a man and as much as I appreciate and love the great things about a man, I wouldn't want to be any different from what I am; I love being a woman.
    I don't like stereotypes, I find them quite damaging. I personally don't think a woman needs to give birth to experience motherhood let alone womanhood. Please don't let your condition make you feel less of a woman.
    My mood swings are rather predictable by the simple fact that if I'm hungry for sure I'll be cranky(any day of the month) if I don't get food in my system, but apparently it has to do with my blood type.
    I love wearing heels but I also love wearing flats; I love wearing make up every now and then; I love dancing; and I like to think that no, I do not have facial hair although I love it when men do. But there are so many men that actually kick my butt dancing in heels so walking in them is a piece of cake for them; know more about make up than I ever will and actually have totally incomprehensible mood swings that persist even after supplying them with chocolate or there you go, we are all people after all, no matter what gender.
    I would invite everyone to forget about sterotypes and not to wear the labels imposed by society's idea of what a woman should be. Create your own labels and change them as often as you like.

    All the best.
    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: I embrace your invitation. Stereotypes don't do me any good so I'm joining in the cause! :) As of my own labels I've already worn one for so long that I've gotten quite used to it. Anyway thank you for the encouragement. I'm living my life to the fullest so far and have a good natural existence (I hope that will continue to be so!).
  • thumb
    Sep 25 2011: Men have one role & women have two roles in human birth.

    No matter what men are but they are given birth by a woman. Even Jesus, Christ & Mohammad (Peace be upon them) are given birth by a woman.
  • Comment deleted

    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Dear Silvia,
      Some of the folks who like to argue, are going to do it no matter what the topic is.

      Thanks for sharing your reason for the question. One of the GREAT things about being a person (man or woman) is the ability to be vulnerable with honestly and trust in our hearts. This is a quality you exhibit over and over again here on TED, and I suspect you do the same in your every day life.

      Perhaps many of us do have motherhood in common, and many more of us (men and women) have compassion and empathy in common as well. Although there is a point of argument on this thread, I hope you notice that there is MUCH MORE compassion, respect, understanding, and a genuine desire to have a meaningful by both men and women, than there is argumentation. What we focus on expands. You are a beautiful person...inside and outside, and I appreciate you and your contributions to our world very much:>)
      Love you,
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: Dear Silva,

        It really hurts me to know that you are distressed by what has occurred here. I'd like to make one more point. The most important thing about any reference here to motherhood is simply that is it an opportunity to share love with someone vulnerable- and that you really do so well. It isn't the way you come into contact with people to love it is the decision to love with an open heart.

        with your own bright shining love reflected back to you, Silivia,

        • thumb
          Sep 25 2011: Hi Debra,

          It's been wonderful interacting with you here on TED all the way so I'm looking forward to doing that more in the future. I want to thank you for the kind and thoughtful words and you're truly an amazing woman. If we don't open our hearts how can we let love in ... so I did and invited it. :)

          Love, Silvia
      • thumb
        Sep 25 2011: Was pondering since have seen the thread but couldn't decide anything specific to women to be wonderful so didn't participate but was following being interested to learn from others as everyone uses different lenses to see. To me what makes a man wonderful applies to woman as well..............

        There are lot of man out there who don't have the capability to reproduce, is that impacting their manhood , is that impacting them not to be wonderful...............

        Agree with posts of Colleen & Debra above.....

        always amazed by the power of woman have in attarcting me in different situation, time & space.....which I never had on them ...... many times thought that's the wonderful part of being woman......
        • thumb
          Sep 25 2011: I have no words to describe how right you are Salim! We are not all that different and yet we try to separate. (Wo)Men are great just because they exist and make us all better here and now! Thank you for your input.
        • thumb
          Sep 27 2011: Salim - If we lived closer to each other I would invite you to lunch just to sit next to you and talk. I always admire your sensitivity and way of expressing yourself. You are the "answer" to Blaine's misguided perspective on men and women and how they are connected.

          Thanks for being honest in your thoughts and for sharing them with us so that we all benefit from them.
      • thumb
        Sep 25 2011: Hi Colleen,

        It's been a real pleasure to have you here and you proved once more how great it is to have people with a broader prospects in life around us. Thank you for the kind words and I hope that you enjoyed this thread, too.

        With love,
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Hi Sylvia,
      I can't put things in words as beautiful as Colleen does but I feel the same.
      You just revealed why you are maybe as wise and compassionate as you are.
      I appreciate this highly.
      • thumb
        Sep 25 2011: Thank you Frans,
        You CAN and DO express many things beautifully, and I appreciate your thoughtful comments:>)
      • thumb
        Sep 25 2011: Hi Frans,

        I also appreciate the tolerance and wisdom with which you express and offer your opinion. You have been a wonderful addition to this thread and I thank you for that. :)
    • thumb

      . .

      • 0
      Sep 24 2011: Hi Silvia -

      I just saw your conversation topic today for the first time. I think it is one of the most important topics of our entire life, which you have offered in your usual exquisite style. I watched the video a few times, and it was exceptional. Your question, naturally, triggered a world of emotion and thought for me and it all boils down to this. You are the celebration of life.

      Sending you lots of love.
      • thumb
        Sep 25 2011: Hi Juliette,

        It's s great to have you here! Thank you for your lovely words and I hope that every woman can feel as a celebration of life. :) The video and film by the way are really amazing!
    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: Silvia,
      Re: Your recent post:

      "Monday, 26.09.2011, 14:45

      You have been very clear with your intention on this thread, most of those who commented understand, and you are not responsible for other people's words or actions...hang in there ya:>)
      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Ah Colleen,

        What a pleasure to see you back here. :) Thanks very much for the encouragement! I'm hanging ... I'm hanging in here. :) It's not that I feel responsible but it got out of hand today! So I'm just a bit tired of this ... that's all. Love you too. Keep your great smile on and so shall I. :D
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Thank you for your encouragement as well Silvia:>)
          It's one of the greatest things I appreciate about men and women who genuinely care about one another and our life journeys:>)

          When you get to the end of your rope, tie another knot in it:>)

          I get tired of some "stuff" at times too, and I also realize that if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem. We can only do what we can do with our "self"...that's where it all begins...with us as individuals:>)
  • J Ali

    • +3
    Sep 24 2011: That a woman is and women are totally equal in having the potential of greatness.....that is, living humanity.....which is all good.
  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: no beard shaving thats great.
  • thumb
    Sep 26 2011: My grandma answered this : The best thing about being a woman is that you can give birth to a new generation and nurture them to be good people.Men cannot do that. :)
  • thumb
    Sep 25 2011: Silvia,

    We woman can have wonderful capacities for feeling the full spectrum of our emotions.

    Not to say that men can't as well and I know many who do. But that due perhaps to hormonal differences and/or social patterning, woman, it seems have relatively greater advantages (which can feel occasionally like a disadvantage) to feel a broader and more infused range of emotion. And, often social conditioning that supports the greater development of emotion, as women can tend to process feelings much more with others and thus learn their experiences of various feelings are O.K., normal, understandable, relatable, whatever.

    This range, in my mind, makes for a richer experience of living. I say this as a 47-year-old woman, who has learned to embrace "what comes" through the years. And is far less afraid of expressing what does..

    Often passionately --- I hasten to say before some who have experienced them jump in with a gruntingly snorted: "Harrumph! Ya think?"

    Passions, which may be perceived as loving or, um, er, Ignited? engaged?. Anyway. And depending on:

    Ones perspective, their gender, my mood, another's reasoning (or lack thereof), the state of my electronic equipment, how he (or she) reacted, the global economy, cosmic alignments, meltdowns or lack-thereof of loved ones and friends, the plight of humanity, if I got my exercise, reflection and reading time in, sugar levels, local weather patterns, whether I lost my readers or found five bucks in last years coat pocket, had a recent "romantic encounter" or meaningful facsimile of such, caffeine intake, sleeping patterns, .......

    .......etc. etc. etc., yadaydaya, and well: ya know....

    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: You have a very delightful view on the subject! Thanks for the music you shared with us (Jim, Frans, me) and I have a thread on music if you'd like to participate I'll be happy:
      May be it'll develop into something more once you get there. :) You managed to turn this thread around and I'm very grateful for that!
  • Sep 23 2011: Like Thomas, I too am not a women and again, no I would not like to be a woman.

    I also am quite jealous how women get a fantastic range of clothes and styles that can reflect their moods, their particular style. As a man I get the choice of a shirt and trousers or, well trousers and a shirt. How great it must be to wear such an array of clothes and shoes. Debra loves wearing heels, my wife loves her Karen Millen heels and they do look fantastic on her ( but then I am biased as she is absalutely, beautifully stunning.)
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: and it gives me a feeling of happiness to know that you love and admire her!
  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: I've seen some men walk pretty gracefully in a pair of high-heels... ;)
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: I agree but then again would you like to see that on every man? Although I don't feel very comfortable on high-heels I feel that every woman looks good on them. That's why I enjoy the benefit of a pair of beautiful shoes from time to time.
      • thumb
        Sep 23 2011: Even though I am tall and over 50 I love high heels. They make me feel wonderful and sexy.
        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: Feeling just the same way on heels. :D Btw I can't respond to your last post so I'm just gonna say it here! :) I got your point about 'nice' but I couldn't resist answering him. He doesn't seem to have a clue about women's perspective. Anyway, may be it was a worthless comment but I hope that he will understand my words someday. :D You have a great night and don't forget to smile!
  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: We own soprano.
  • thumb
    Sep 22 2011: I absolutely, totally and completely love being a woman. I think our bodies are beautiful, our minds are subtle and inclusive, our hearts are open and embracing, our wombs are magnificent and life giving, our passions are usually for people and peace. What men start, we finish such as giving birth and we are equal opportunity life givers- whether boy or girl they are born not just of our wombs but also of our hearts. One of the things that I have truly loved best about being a woman is the relationship that is between a mother and her nursing child.
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: Ah how come I don't have any thumbs up for you again! I can only hope that more women feel like you and appreciate what they are. :) Thanks for the lovely input, Debra.
  • thumb
    Sep 25 2011: Hi Silvia,

    As your questions defined the scope of our answers (the greatest thing about being a woman) I answered within that context.

    However, I would like to point out that, at least, one person chose to answer in a much broader context (I forget who and don't want to look for the post): they said, "You exist."

    [Edit: How cool is that - my post landed right on top of Luigi Vampa's and it was he who said, "...the greatest thing is your very existence."]

    That, to me, is the best answer of them all. (And it applies equally to men and women.)

    That we exist, at all, is the greatest thing about being ... well, just being.

    All that we think we are, all that we wish we could be, can be transcended by the sheer magnitude, beauty, and love of life itself.

    The great Sufi poet Hafiz put it this way:

    The Truth has shared so much of Itself
    With me

    That I can no longer call myself
    A man, a woman, an angel,
    Or even a pure

    Love has
    Befriended Hafiz so completely
    It has turned to ash
    And freed

    Of every concept and image
    my mind has ever known.

    – Hafiz (Khwāja Šamsu d-Dīn Muḥammad Hāfez-e Šhīrāzī)

    In the heart of Truth, we are all complete and whole.

    And that is the greatest thing about being a woman.
  • thumb
    Sep 24 2011: I love the way you move, the beauty i see in you and that hint of sexiness that feels different to mine.
    I love the way you dance, the way you kiss, the way you express yourself with your body, the dresses you wear, the high heels you walk in, your feminine energy, the way you admire me and the strength you have with each other.

    girls just feel good to me.
  • thumb
    Sep 24 2011: “When we liberate the economic potential of women, we elevate the economic performance of communities, nations, and the world. There is a stimulative and ripple effect that kicks in when women have greater access to jobs and the economic lives of our countries: Greater political stability. Fewer military conflicts. More food. More educational opportunity for children. By harnessing the economic potential of all women, we boost opportunity for all people.”

    - - Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton
  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: Nice topic you have, Sylvia.
    I'm glad to see women that appreciate their womenness.
    At first I saw a lot of women emancipating in the wrong sense, they tried to imitate a man.
    Indeed it is their complementary part that makes them and humanity complete.

    There's a tendency in nature for men to become extinct.
    In some places more girls are born than boys. Boys often are feminine and/or have a low quality sperm and so on.
    With a lot of animals it is the same. It is due to some chemicals in our environment that are blocking the receptors for Testosterone. If this stuff is around in a foetus during differentiating into a male body this is prohibited and it stays a female with a y-gene. Another problem that lacks the attention it needs.
    What reason do you think of Sylvia that there are more women where you live?
    • Comment deleted

      • thumb
        Sep 23 2011: It looks to me that you missed the point I tried to make.
        If the aim is emancipation it has to do with being as you are and being appreciated and valued for it.
        This means that a woman does what she feels herself to be and not to adjust to something she is not.
        If any woman feels herself more or less as a woman isn't the issue. It has to do with that she, or he for that matter, lives her/him true being and to being judged and treated equal for it.

        And I don't care who cares about what I am glad about. I'm a bit emancipated myself.
        • Sep 23 2011: I agree with Frans
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: Quite right Frans, those of us who are "emancipated" can discuss anything, or not discuss anything, with equanimity. I appreciate your insights - and your equanimity.
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: @ Thomas,
          One of the greatest things about being a woman is that we can choose to be miserable, nasty and churlish but that we do not have to be. We can choose to be better human beings who live a life being constructive and positive. Many of us have fought hard battles against the ridiculing and prejudiced points of view which believe that they have a superior point of view or who have the resources, finances and power to believe that they are superior. They are no less bullies and no less vicious when they are women who have been empowered by all of us who went before them.

          We can choose our paths in life and live them to the fullest. That is also open to men and I want to commend you for consistently choosing that better path.
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Dear Birdia & Thomas,

          You both are the most senior & reliable source of information for junior Tedsters like me. Though I dont see this suitable but I request to wind up this personal debates here.

          No minds plz.
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: Birdia,
        I've watched the video that you linked yet I'm still not able to see your point.
        And I would like to see it but maybe my scope is limited.

        Your remark however that nobody needs me to teach what to be was exactly my point to start with.
        Maybe you just read it over. I was pleading that any one should be treated equal in the way he or she wants to be. If there's a woman that feels herself a woman she better be one and not imitating a man to be treated equal among colleagues. If a woman happens to like being a man she must be treated equal to everyone else. Everything goes as long as someone expresses his/her inner feelings without fear of being condemned for it.
        If you think that's all wrong I'm very sorry.
      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Birdia --

        O.K. -- step away from the Moms. Them's fighting words.

        Few are perfect, and some anything but. I know, I know....

        Still, acting motherly isn't the worse offense I've witnessed. Beats the h*** out of the alternative. Society doesn't do too well without parental nurturing. Which lesbian, bi. trans or straight woman can, and do, do (as do men of all sexual-partner preference stripes and colors, too.).

        Now, if a mother happens to produce a creative genius like RuPaul or kick ass rocker like Joan Jett that's a bonus from some people's POV, RuPaul's mom called it the day he was born, when she said "He's going to be a star." And Jett uses her mothers maiden name. Which suggests she might love mom as much as rock-n-roll.

        And those syrupy sweet motherly types -- if nothing else, they give their kids and sitcoms something to parody. But, beyond the stereotypes and the help of Big Pharma, masses of chocolate or booze sometimes supply to survive parenting, many of these moms would kick the shit out (figuratively, of course...) of anyone who tried to hurt their kid.

        All of which, I'd say, are more things to appreciate about women who also happen to be mothers.

        So, go easy on 'em.

      • thumb
        Sep 26 2011: Frankly, Birdia was much kinder about the essentialist drivel going on in this thread than I could ever possibly be.

        I knew better than to click on it, and still I did. Be thankful I don't actually give my opinion before I flee this mess.
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Don't you worry Gisela I had heard so many different opinions that another one wouldn't actually hurt that much. You are, of course, entitled to your standpoint which I promise to respect. And yet, though you knew better, you clicked on it, didn't you? Could you be as kind as to read some of the posts, please? I gotta admit not all of them are just as bad as you describe and I'm sure even Birdia would agree (especially about Andrea's point).
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: First thank you for a male point of view, Frans. Well, I guess the reason is that women are now on the rise. Until the middle of the XX century people were getting over the nightmare of II World Wars (and my country was right in the heart of those). War time as we know is the period when there is male dominance. Afterwards, though, naturally comes the time of women. So I guess it is a process in our environment that was needed for the balance of our species to be restored and I don't really think it fully has. There are still jobs and things that are considered male territory. Anyway, in that fight for women's rights I think we have lost our true female content and I think it's high time for us to go back to that.
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Hi Frans, I was becoming a woman in the 1970s finishing high school and getting my first job. I know exactly what you are referring to above about women emulating men. For a while when women entered non traditional fields, many tried to be heard and fit in by being like men in many ways. It was a disconcerting time. It was a though they believed that in order to get ahead they had to trade in their female qualities and pretend they did not exist. Some of us fought for the rights to work and to be who we essentially were. Many younger women and gay people have benefited from our early painful struggles and just forget we ever fought those battles for a better more equitable world. So yes, I appreciate your point in your initial posting.

      I feel like I have had a pretty good shot at having a very full life experience as a woman. I was the very first in a non=traditional role where men actually threatened to go on strike if they had to train a woman and General Motors folded and laid me off but I went back (rehired in another "trade" and worked there for 10 years despite all the predictions). I have been a stay at home mother who loved and cared for 5 kids and got a great education at the same time. I have been in business and in professional life. The world is a very different place for my 20 year old daughter who can really rock it, has almost no limitations in terms of role stereotypes and who also knows how to be kind and considerate of others.
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: Thanks Debra,
        Indeed, I often forget that young people are ignorant about the circumstances of their elders.
        And now your story reminds me of how it all has been. The differences are really incredible.
        If I think back at my older sisters in our good catholic family. One was a real rebel because she protested to be home from a party before ten o'clock. At that time of night my daughters went out.
        And there's so much more. I think that even in Iran people are more free today than we were then.

        Up to for a few years back I lived with a woman that was 8 years younger and was brought up by a very modern mother. Even she had little knowledge of those years before The Beatles when everything started to change. But as a child I liked it in a way. Everything was predictable and ‘normal’. Nothing much happened and nothing changed. The world was at ease and everything was only getting better. In this sense we really entered a new world.
  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: You may have noticed, I am not a woman ... but my mother was.

    So looking in from the outside, this is what I see:

    Women are more "robust" than men ... that is, women resist diseases, and extremes, better than men do.

    Basically, women are genetically superior. (And you have that whole "baby thing" going on.)

    But (and don't tell the other guys I said this) I think women are superior to men in almost every respect (except muscular strength, situational awareness, and focus.)

    Would I want to be a woman?

    • Comment deleted

    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: i respectfully disagree with your superiority comment only because i refuse to accept myself as less than anyone else. Women are great, but i think your great too Thomas...secret admirer.
  • thumb
    Sep 22 2011: I'll challenge number 6 from experience. :D
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: Yeah well ... I have mood swings which are totally unpredictable so I guess we can't have it all, can we? ;) Anyway what's so bad about mood swings? I love them sometimes, make me feel alive and feel the change completely.
  • Comment deleted

    • thumb
      Sep 27 2011: Jim............
      What can I say.................? Difficult to get words.............

      Your kind words made me overwhelmed & obliged.
      Perplexed to a great extent as well with the honor you showed which I am doubtful to deserve.........

      It really will be the great pleasure to have lunch with you or just sit together and get some thoughts from you. World is small , may be one day we will have that opportunity as well. But for the time being through this virtual world what you offered is simply invaluable treasure for me..............

      Just drop me a line whenever you will be travelling to this part of the world.......

      All the best wishes , have a good day.
  • thumb
    Sep 27 2011: Andrea - I like your music.

    John Lennon's "Woman" is an unabashed homage to the incredible influence that Yoko One had on his growth as a man. If you know anything about Lennon's turbulent period in the early 70's then you know he was headed toward self destruction. Yoko Ono is the only reason why John Lennon overcame his demons and weaknesses.

    The song itself is not a masterpiece and is a little bit over the top in its adoration of Yoko, but it only confirms how much she meant to him.

    Some people see Yoko as someone who took away from John Lennon. John Lennon would tell us that she was the only person who gave him what he needed.
  • Comment deleted

    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: Look as I told you Blaine you made your point! Please go be a teacher and change the system from the inside if you can. There are too many perspectives to consider and I think if you get me started here on this it will be a lengthy discussion which I don't wanna engage the others in. I think that your point is not only biased but rather offensive and one-sided. Please, create another conversation and overview these problems there. With all due respect!
  • Comment deleted

    • thumb
      Sep 25 2011: This conversation sprung up after one about the good things that TED men were doing. I know because i started that conversation. you can find it here:

      I am the mother of four grown sons whom I love with all my heart and who are making a difference in Canada in the same system you are in. Your words and the fact that you have twice now advocated 'targeting women" or to quote you directly:" It amazes me that men aren't killing these people." constitute HATE SPEECH in Canada and is a criminal violation under our human rights laws. I ask you sincerely to think of what you are doing.
      • Comment deleted

        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Blaine Dude, give it a rest!

          You're giving us men a bad name (not to mention justifying almost all of the things you are railing against.)

          Plus you're making it difficult for the vulnerable, sensitive, and emancipated men amongst us - (... to, you know, impress the chicks).

          How 'bout we hit the bar for a Blue? We can complain about Adrienne Clarkson (now that's a job a man could have done!)
    • thumb
      Sep 25 2011: OK Blaine you made your point. Please don't try to impose your beliefs on others. Let them be your own unique standpoint. As for me I am white and a teacher, green-eyed too (if that makes any difference). Glad you made me see myself through the eyes of another. Am I ashamed now that I've heard what you had to say? I don't think so. Interesting to me it is, though, what background do you come from? Hasn't a mother raised you? I honestly don't know how you can speak about women like this if the answer to my last question is YES. Where does all the hatred toward white women come from? Hm, I may appear white but so many nations have come and gone through my homeland that I'm really not sure what my pure origin is. How can you be so sure?
    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: Blaine,

      Can you provide the statistics that you say "prove that white women are the poison of society?"

    • thumb
      Sep 26 2011: Blaine ...are you sure of that poisonous effect.? Or is just your opinion?
  • thumb
    Sep 24 2011: I don’t know “What is the greatest thing about being a woman?”, as I am a man.

    But I know what is one of the great things about being a MAN. One great thing about being a man is that men do not have the need to ask others what is the great thing about being a man. Men do not require external approvals or justifications for their manly existence. Usually, men are confident enough in what they are and what they do, although many of them are fully aware that they are not perfect, that they not always do the proper thing and that they can make mistakes too.

    So, although obviously there must be many great things in being a WOMAN, like there are in being a man, the very asking of this question points towards a lack of genderic self-assurance.
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Good point Yubal.
      Many of us (women and men) do not require external approvals or justifications for our existence. However, I think/feel that both men and women LIKE positive reinforcement? Do you think it's possible that women may be more comfortable asking for that, and perhaps men are less comfortable asking?
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: yeyyy!
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: I can speak generally about men and specifically about be, but I do not represent all men.

        I think it is not the issue about comfort, but more about need. Men do not feel the need to analyze their manhood all the time. They take it for granted that there are issues they might excel more than women, while in other issues women might excel more than men. But usually the average intelligent man does not feel overwhelmed about this and does not feel the need to close the gap with women.

        It is the women who feel more that they have to compare themselves with men and to close the gap.

        Recently I heard//read about a study done about the need to talk, within men and women. It is quite accepted that women like to talk more than men about their personal issues and problems. It was supposed, as you mentioned, that the difference is due to the fact that men feel less comfortable than women to talk about their personal issues. But the study revealed the the cause for the difference is not being less or more comfortable. The cause is that men believe less than women that talks and words can really change the reality. Men believe more in individual thinking and in self-action for trying to solve problems.

        What gratified me about this study, that even before knowing about this type of studies, I have said the same things to myself and few others about why men talk less than women about their personal problems. That it's not about being comfortable but about believing that words solve problems. However, by this, I don't mean to say that men are right and women are wrong in their this belief or disbelief.
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: Dear Yubal,
          "Men do not feel the need to analyze their manhood all the time"? Are you kidding me???
          I "do not represent all men":>)

          I believe that people (men and women) who are confident in themselves do not have as much of a need for external reinforcement.

          You say..."It is the women who feel more that they have to compare themselves with men and to close the gap".
          Wait a minute...
          This discussion is "What is the greatest thing about being a woman".
          And you came on here and started comparing men and women.
          You want to think about your statement?

          Why do you think/feel that you can speak about what women feel?
          Considering my own experiences and the experiences and feelings of hundreds of women with whom I have interacted in various capacities, your statement above is not true.

          You say..."... the study revealed the cause for the difference is not being less or more comfortable. The cause is that men believe less than women that talks and words can really change the reality. Men believe more in individual thinking and in self-action for trying to solve problems".

          This statement may be true in that "men believe more in individual thinking and in self-action for trying to solve problems". So, if a women is trying to get a person to share feelings, who doesn't believe in sharing feelings for whatever reason, that would cause discomfort.
          If one person believes that talking may help solve problems, and another person does not believe in talking, then it becomes an uncomfortable situation...does it not?
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: I'd just like to add that there are many people who do need or at least could use a little external validation. There is no shame in this very human need. It often arises out of being ill treated, abused or neglected at various points of life or even just from being weary in well doing. Just as there is no harm in rubbing an elbow you bumped, or covering a wound with a clean dressing, a little external validation is no crime.

          I like to spread around a little validation where I can because we are in a society where there is not enough touch and because we have come to believe personal criticism as though it were a lightening bolt of truth but we mistrust positive feedback. Validating or just acknowledging the good hardly even puts a dent in the need and could be like trying to fight the wind but sometimes words land like water on dry souls where they are most needed allowing that person to go on a bit further.
        • thumb
          Sep 27 2011: Yubal - I'd like to know more about this study you mentioned. Can you give us specific reference to it? Based on your summary it does not reflect me at all.
    • thumb
      Sep 27 2011: Debra - Far from there being no shame in external validation, I would suggest that many if not all of the greatest accomplishments of the human race at some point in time needed it to keep going, to persist, to endure.
  • thumb
    Sep 24 2011: Also i am interested if women will expand their standpoint to human liberation after women's liberation.
    • thumb
      Sep 24 2011: Hey Benny Boy! YES absolutely.
      As a woman who was on the front lines my whole point was that the body I was born in should not dictate my chances and choices in life. I am the mother of four sons and I want them to have the whole panorama of choices not just something dictated by the configuration of their body.
      I have written before that I am a feminist only because the word 'humanist' has been co-opted to mean something else. Yes, there is a place for everyone in this sort of world view.
      • thumb
        Sep 24 2011: how awesome; :) thanks for reply! I didn't know you are a mother of four sons...I wish you well hehe.
  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: One of the best parts of being a woman is our sisters. Women come in an infinite variety and they all have something of immeasurable value to add. My friendships with women are life sustaining, nurturing, fun, mind expanding and just great. The only kind of woman that I have a hard time appreciating is a woman who dislikes her own kind. There is something unnatural in it to me.
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: How come I didn't think of that when I was writing the description. I truly believe there's this unique connection between sisters; moms and daughters. :) So nice! Thanks!
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: I couldn't resist to share (she was 8 months pregnant in this video and still looked beaming) and + it gives me chills every time I hear it: :) Enjoy.
  • Comment deleted

    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: Interesting point of view as usual which makes me think! I love it when someone can actually move my brain and that happens quite often here which I especially enjoy! Women who can rock'n'roll are awesome I agree. But what do you mean by going back to the Victorian era?
      • Comment deleted

        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: Those should be valued virtues!!! :D And a woman who possesses them has such a glow to her personality! Would you like to go back to that or continue ahead in the times to come? Ah, why don't I have any thumbs up for you again, Birdia!
      • Comment deleted

  • thumb
    Sep 23 2011: Being attractive while storing a lot of fat.
    • thumb
      Sep 23 2011: It's interesting how a woman's body has to have fat so that it can be at its best: become a mom. :)
      • thumb
        Sep 23 2011: Interesting how a man's not attractive if he doesn't look like he could hunt down wildebeasts.
        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: That's just wrong from my perspective Gerald. Keep in mind that most women really see with their hearts and not just their eyes.
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: Gerald --

          I'm with Debra here.

      • thumb
        Sep 23 2011: That's medically impossible, for now at least.
        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: Well, then, they see through cognitive filters in order to judge the worth and value of potential mates. These cognitive filters can render irrelevant many physical attributes in favour of behavourial evidence such as kindness, intelligence and humour. This is medically possible.
      • thumb
        Sep 23 2011: Now I undertand. Can you take out these filters and clean them once in a while?
        Surely it must clog up after a few decades of filtering...
        ...making women less picky as they get older?
        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: nice
        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: Not really! I gotta tell you it's not about age but about self-awareness. If a woman is confident about her looks and qualities she wouldn't be less picky but in fact she'll be the opposite 'cause it gets harder adapting to new people as we grow older.
        • thumb
          Sep 23 2011: Silivia, my comment "nice" was one of the few times that I allow myself to be sarcastic. It is meant to say that the comment is so brutish that there is no point in responding.
        • thumb
          Sep 26 2011: We cannot actually take the filters out and clean them, but as we age, my experience and that of the many "older" women I know, is that the information processed through the filters becomes more clear regarding what we want or don't want, what we will accept and not accept in relationships. Most "older" women I know (myself included) are more willing to express our desires in relationships, and if a relationship does not work out, we're perfectly happy and content in our own lives. I've discovered as I age, that a partner I would consider for a long term relationship, would have to be equally as confident and content in his life before I would welcome him into my life.

          So, to answer your question women get "less picky as they get older"? My experience, and that of all the "older" women I know and interact with, is that we get way MORE picky regarding relationships:>)

          Also, as we get older Silvia, we tend not to "adapt" to other people, nor do we expect others to "adapt" to us. We are more accepting of people just as they are, and realize that people don't really "adapt", but will often play a role for a certain amount of time to appear to adapt.
      • thumb
        Sep 23 2011: niama zeshto, I wasn't serious.
        • thumb
          Sep 24 2011: honestly i laughed; ;)