TED Conversations

anne yang

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Why we feel lonely in people around?

We have family,friends,people all around. Why we sometimes feel empty and lonely in heart?What's wrong?

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    Sep 21 2011: Hello Anne! I think that loneliness reflects our desires for meaningful unique connection where we are not just one person in a crowded room but someone whom someone else truly sees, truly gets, truly loves. We yearn for connectedness. Most people feel that at some point. Falling in love can alleviate it but be careful! There is NOTHING lonelier than being married to the wrong person. My suggestion is that when you feel this disconnectedness, try to get busy connecting with yourself and becoming your best self. It is a project that is always at hand and if you keep becoming more and more of the essential you, someone will suddenly be there who sees and loves you - the real you.
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    Sep 21 2011: One of the TED speakers, I can't remember who now, spoke of the importance of learning to appreciate being alone. Not alone always, that would turn into loneliness, but alone sometimes. When alone, one has time for reflection, an important human ability getting lost in a fast paced world.

    Upon reflection, perhaps the reason for one's emptiness comes into focus. Perhaps the loneliness one is experiencing begins to fade as one thinks about family and friends in a new light.
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    Sep 21 2011: I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. I understand what you mean. I don't think it means anything is wrong with us. That is just part of being alive. I thnk that feeling this way isnt such a bad thing as having the same experiences helps us understand one another . I know now that in this life nothing will completly satisfy me. The heart is a lonely hunter :) But I dont think it will always be this way.
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    Sep 23 2011: It is nothing wrong to be alone. People are strong enough to overcome some challenges by themselves they just dont know it. I personally feel exhausted sometimes when there are too much people or too much societies( or accompany) around me it feels crowded and noisy ( not literally but in terms of stimulation)
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    Sep 21 2011: Hi Anne. :) Nothing's wrong. It's just that you're missing the best part of yourself sometimes: your friends and your family. I've felt in the way you describe only when I haven't been around my closest people for a long time. Just make the right call or the even better the right visit and you're done with loneliness.

    I do agree, though, that loneliness is an important lesson a person should learn in a lifetime because the connection with yourself is at its best then.